• The Dark Side 💕 Welcome Guest 💕
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules
    Notable Threads Urgent Hotlines
    Bereavement Mindfulness
    Suicide Support Anger Management
  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | Eligiu | deficiT | paranoid android

Trouble w/ IV coke MERGED

thanks for ur reply. u r certainly right. but it's just that shooting fent feels healthier compared to the psycho-shit i encounter with coke. i feel haunted and followed. i think that even all the social workers on the streets begin to talk shit behind my back and about me when i do coke, not to mention others....
 
Why not just find a way to stop shooting the coke?

The needle fixation is a difficult one to break but once it's broken it goes away pretty quickly ime. I know it's not a very useful piece of advice but it really is just a case of fucking toughing it out and getting that first day of no IV use. The second day is much easier than the first and it's all easier from there in terms of the needle fixation.

I'll be honest it sounds like you need rehab badly, a situation where you're forced in to not using whether you like it or not. I'm guessing that's not possible due to the size of your juice script or something?

edit: Yeah the fent would be the worst route, if you insist on continuing with IV use then get on the program.
 
omen_owen mk2 said:
Why not just find a way to stop shooting the coke?.
Click to expand...

And if only it was all that simple ;) but I get your sentiment

I've no direct experience of illicit IV drug use but have known people who have developed a needle fixation, rituals around the ROA of a substance can be as, if not more difficult to shake off.

I don't know what the rules around the IV program you mention, I'd be surprised if they didnt carry out tests to ensure you arent using anything else but I'm in the UK and things may well be different. Your thinking ATM doesnt seem yet to be in the right place to gain much from a program like that, I find it hard to see how you would gain any real benefit in the long term by going on such a program and continuing to pin yourself with coke.

I guess its all about what you really want to achieve, it doesnt sound like your happy the way things are ?
 
Allein said:
And if only it was all that simple ;) but I get your sentiment

I've no direct experience of illicit IV drug use but have known people who have developed a needle fixation, rituals around the ROA of a substance can be as, if not more difficult to shake off.

I don't know what the rules around the IV program you mention, I'd be surprised if they didnt carry out tests to ensure you arent using anything else but I'm in the UK and things may well be different. Your thinking ATM doesnt seem yet to be in the right place to gain much from a program like that, I find it hard to see how you would gain any real benefit in the long term by going on such a program and continuing to pin yourself with coke.

I guess its all about what you really want to achieve, it doesnt sound like your happy the way things are ?
Click to expand...
they do regular screenings to ensure you aren't useing anything else, they can even detect if you are useing street heroin ontop (they do this by testing for acetylcodein).

but i concur with all of ya. best option would be rehab. but i am just not ready.
it seems that only death or jail can prevent me from using..... and sooner or later one of the two will happen. i got to steal everyday to finance my habit and i'm on probation already...... sometimes i think i am already past rock bottom, been livin like this for years, lived on the streets, 8 months homeless (and sometimes i even found some kind of comfort in this lifestyle...) etc. i found a flat meanwhile and i managed to get some things together.... but i keep heading for disaster. unable to live a normal life.

i didn't use coke at all last weekend. instead i went for fent & benzos. what can i say? liked it alot.
 
Well if you're not ready to stop you're not ready to stop. Go out there and get more pain until you are ready to stop.

My advice would be get on the IV heroin program if it will stop you shooting up street cocaine, you're extremely lucky to have this option. Where are you living? At least then you can get some degree of stability back in your life (although it doesn't sound like that's what you want really).

It's kind of hard to give advice to someone on how to overcome a habit when they admit themselves they're not ready to stop. You can't have it both ways!
 
i live in frankfurt, germany. they call it "diamorphine program" (to get around the stigma associated with the term "heroin")
 
Nice, good to see there are at least some countries engaging with this sort of thing.

Good luck whatever you choose to do.:)
 
Its all will power in the end. You can stop using anything as long as your willing to endure the consequences of indulging and actually want to quit just stop. Also I would stay away from the fent ODs really happen, its just not worth it and will not put you any steps further in the right direction.
 
average extreme said:
I’m a coke i.v. addict. Originally i slipped off into coke i.v. after i got into methadone treatment. I hunted the (any) rush when opiates no longer could provide it.

I don’t even like coke. It makes me psychotic every single time I do it. So why do I do it? I’m unable to overcome my needle fixation….. (and I don’t even want to get away from it)

I found a fentanyl connection recently but unfortunately this guy isn’t very reliable. Now I have to decide whether I get myself into a dia(cetyl)morphin substitution program. It is very strict and regulated… Much of my daily life will be bound to the program, but as for harm reduction it’ll be my best option. If they accept me, I can get up to 330mg pharm-grade heroin i.v. 3 times daily. But i’m just very unsure…. I fear that it’ll feed my addiction. What if i keep shooting coke while participating the program? I’ll be in even bigger trouble then.

Any opinions?
Click to expand...

it's ironic how we can get addicted to thing we don't even really like, isn't it?

I think it would be great if you could get yourself into a rehab program. you obviously want help, and it's clear to us (and yourself!) that you're going down a very dangerous path. it's not easy, it hurts, and it consumes our lives.

needle fixation is something that a lot of addicts can relate to. like I have mentioned in a previous post, it is similar to Pavlov's Dogs-- the "positive" reinforcement. when you use a needle, your brain associates that with pleasure, hence why we keep going back to it time and time again, even though we know that we are hurting ourselves.
 
I'm curious what makes you "not ready" in your mind? I commend your frankness and also your self-awareness, I'm just trying to understand what it is that makes you not ready. Is it fear of failure? An inability to imagine life without being high? Think of the amount of courage, wits and drive that you have to use every single day to keep this habit going. You have everything it takes to beat this. I wish you strength and faith.
 
aq. said:
it's ironic how we can get addicted to thing we don't even really like, isn't it?
Click to expand...

It's a crazy notion. I used to sit and IV coke with a bucket next to the bed for me to vomit in to when the rush hit. As the rush worse off I'd go straight for another hit with the inevitable consequence of once again having a vomiting fit. Repeat ad nauseam (if you'll excuse the pun).
 
thanks for the kind words everyone, i love bl! i really appreciate it since i tend to think that no one gives a shit about me.

why ain't i ready? i am a very unstable person. i got serious problems to adapt to new situations. i never completed any therapie. even after months i still felt my life was all about drugs. as paradoxic as it may sound, this lifestyle gives me some kind of security. i know how to get along here. i'm just used to it and i seem unable to break the cycle.

i really really like the decay drugs do to my life in a way. sounds weird, but it ain't if you hate yourself like i do.
 
i was unable to get my hands on fent yesterday, so i went for coke & weak h again.

after i had some money, i shot a speedball. after the initial coke rush went away, i found myself in absolute paranoia again. i weapond myself with kitchen knives, felt that somebody was behind the door, trying to get in. so i locked myself in the bathroom, holding a knife in my hand..... after it wore off and i calmed down a little, i immediately started making money again, got dope & repeat.

when normality is defined by chaos, your idea of chaos becomes what normal life usually is, and then you start to fear it. hope anyone can get what i'm trying to say...
 
Why is it that you take drugs? What is it that they give to you? What is the payoff you get for using them?

Sounds like you have no identity other than that formed by drug abuse?
 
IV coke pretty much made me loose my mind for a few months and damn near killed me in the process. IV opiates are not nearly as addictive for me atleast as IV coke. I still do it on occasion but even banging a gram of good blow now makes my head fucked for the better part of a week. The reason i quit doing it regularly was because i was sick of all the bullshit and feeling like i was going psychotic. Also sitting around in a room by yourself with blood running down your arm trying to find a vein kinda sucks.

But unless you wanna quit you won't. Everyone has their own reasons so you just have to find yours.
 
paranoid android said:
IV coke pretty much made me loose my mind for a few months and damn near killed me in the process. IV opiates are not nearly as addictive for me atleast as IV coke.
Click to expand...
yeah i think that too. the conditioning is stronger..... i enjoy only the first seconds to minutes of it. i mean i like that alot!!! then, after the initial rush, the worst feelings i am aware off hit me. but still: i keep doing, and doing, and doing it.

omen, your reply affected me in a strange way and i think you nailed it.
Sounds like you have no identity other than that formed by drug abuse?
Click to expand...
when i first heared about drugs as a kid, i knew i'll become an addict. before i began injecting injecting i liked to watch videos of people injecting themselves. most people feel disgusted with it, but i liked it before i ever tried it. isn't that strange? the social aspects of drugs were always important for me. i liked smoking weed for being a stoner. i liked being a meth cook (meth is a VERY rare phenomenon in germany and meth labs are as good as non existant here) for it making me popular. i liked being a junkie for being (perceived as) fucked up....

i don't know who the fuck i am. i don't got no life and i don't know how to get one. social interaction beyond drugs is very hard for me, i can relate to many people but i think that no one can relate to me.

(i don't got a regular internet access, so i am not always able to reply in time)
 
average extreme said:
I’m a coke i.v. addict. Originally i slipped off into coke i.v. after i got into methadone treatment. I hunted the (any) rush when opiates no longer could provide it.

I don’t even like coke. It makes me psychotic every single time I do it. So why do I do it? I’m unable to overcome my needle fixation….. (and I don’t even want to get away from it)

I found a fentanyl connection recently but unfortunately this guy isn’t very reliable. Now I have to decide whether I get myself into a dia(cetyl)morphin substitution program. It is very strict and regulated… Much of my daily life will be bound to the program, but as for harm reduction it’ll be my best option. If they accept me, I can get up to 330mg pharm-grade heroin i.v. 3 times daily. But i’m just very unsure…. I fear that it’ll feed my addiction. What if i keep shooting coke while participating the program? I’ll be in even bigger trouble then.

Any opinions?
Click to expand...

Hiya average extreme,

How are you? I'm sorry I don't know anything about coke or IVing so I can't really help you. However, I would like to wish you luck and if you have not seen this - May getting and / or staying sober thread vs. May Flowers thread, I thought I'd give it you. You may be interested in reading Personal Accounts of Addiction which is in Other Drugs .

Sorry I can't help you any further but would like to wish you luck with overcoming your addiction.

Evey
 
Hello there I'm injecting coke daily for one month or more and I want to quit, but justifications are so smart I took the decision to quit few days ago and stayed 3 days clean then I started abusing again, I need to know how to quit ( I read several articles and threads now) but they r all about years of addiction and I'm only 1 month. Coke here is weak not like in Europe or USA or Colombia very weak that I inject 0.6g at once. Anyways i want to know what to do and if there are any meds that could help in the first weeks.
 
Just rest, plenty of food and water. Probably better to stay off meds. Within 2 weeks you will be able to sleep it off. if youre doing 0.6g a shot, who knows what its stepped on with, it could be anything as benign as lactose (then again, shooting half a gram of lactose into your veins over and over cant be THAT healthy either) to something thats terrible for you but gets added anyway because it adds to the oomph. Theres not really any treatment for it besides abstinence, as shitty as that sounds. Most ppl just switch to a different drug like opiates or benzos but then again that might not be the best possible route.
 
One good reason to quit might be considering what the coke is cut with.. I've heard that in the U.S. the average cocaine on the street is actually only around 40% cocaine and is commonly cut with some sort of deworming chemical used by vets(I forget the name of it).

Using some sort of benzo for anxiety may help, but also may put you at risk of just replacing one addiction for another. If you've only been using for a month it should be easier to quit without using other meds... although it still may not be easy.

Letting someone else know who can hold you accountable might help. A lot of people give up control of their finances so they physically can not go out and buy any more drugs. Deleting drug dealers contacts and ending relationships in which drug use is the only or primary focus will also help a great deal. Basically, remove yourself from the drug culture as much as possible, then focus on letting go of the drug and managing withdrawal. It's much harder to stay clean if you know all you have to do is pick up the phone or drive to a friends house who will give you free drugs. When you make social change in your life the physical aspect comes a little easier IME. Let go of the drug culture then focus on letting go of the drug and finding healthy things to replace the negative habits.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top