• Life Advice & Visual Arts Welcome Guest
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules
    🌌 Share Your Dreams! 🌌
    📸 15 Years of Photo Contests 📸
  • LAVA Moderator: streaM Freak

Trouble Making Friends

Status
Not open for further replies.
pemde

pemde

Bluelighter
Joined
Mar 13, 2007
Messages
334
So, I started going to college last summer for summer session (only about 6 weeks) and im in my fall semester right now (towards the end). So far I have not been making any friends and am pretty much on my own (apart from hanging out with my roommates). It sucks, Im lonely and depressed. I dont want the only thing I look forward to be going down to my hometown every once in a while to hang out with my old friends. That just isnt a life i want. So far what I have come up with to make things better are (all of this starts at the begining of next semester) finding a job, joining a club, and making sure that I LIKE the classes I am taking. Right now I feel as though my sole purpose is to go to class ... thats about it :| I feel like I just need to talk to somebody. My family is not available (only over the phone ... its not the same as face to face!). I am seeing a psychiatrist and am going to start seeing a counselor again. Any advice from somebody that has been here would be appreciated, thank you.
 
What level of classes are you taking? Do you live in a dorm or where other students live? If you're taking higher level classes, have you tried befriending people in those classes? I went through a similar situation when I first went back to school, and I've finally found a group of people in my department who I can actually hang out with.

Sometimes it might take a while for you to adjust. You'll find friends, I"m sure. :)

Also, I edited the title of your thread to make it more descriptive. ;)
 
Im taking entry level classes. A couple of them are huge (400) and the other two are pretty small (40-50). I lived in dorms during the summer ....not for me :P Now I live across the street from campus in an apartment with three other rommmates. Tank God I dont share a room anymore!!! Ive calmed down a bit, I didnt mention it in my original post but I stopped taking celexa three weeks ago and I guess I really did need it ;) I was just having "one of those moments" in which I feel desperate and alone. Ive got to look at the positive aspects!!
 
Yeah, thats one thing that I lucked out on. I was pretty lucky to get good roommates. I hated my roommates during summer session with a passion. The ones I have now are a lot better. The only thing is that they are all like 3 years older than me, but I think its better that way.
 
pemde said:
So, I started going to college last summer for summer session (only about 6 weeks) and im in my fall semester right now (towards the end). So far I have not been making any friends and am pretty much on my own (apart from hanging out with my roommates). It sucks, Im lonely and depressed. I dont want the only thing I look forward to be going down to my hometown every once in a while to hang out with my old friends. That just isnt a life i want. So far what I have come up with to make things better are (all of this starts at the begining of next semester) finding a job, joining a club, and making sure that I LIKE the classes I am taking. Right now I feel as though my sole purpose is to go to class ... thats about it :| I feel like I just need to talk to somebody. My family is not available (only over the phone ... its not the same as face to face!). I am seeing a psychiatrist and am going to start seeing a counselor again. Any advice from somebody that has been here would be appreciated, thank you.
Click to expand...

I have had this same problem, and to be honest I still don't have many friends on campus. The friends that I have made are either on my floor, or in my classes. I have trouble meeting new people, but once you start it becomes much easier. As you get more comfortable with certain people, you end up meeting their friends, and so on. Try to meet people taking your major too, since they will be the ones you will be having classes with for the next four years. Fun/odd classes are also a good choice.

With that said don't feel too bad if you don't know many people now. If you try to meet others with good intentions, things will work out.

Quality > Quantity.
 
goin a club in your college that pertains to shit you like....

those studdy groups btw have such lovely people to socialize with.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
I had the same problem my first year. My solution was to try hard drugs. Within a few months of my second year I had more friends than I ever had in my life as a result of just seeing a bunch of people hanging out in someones room and going to join them; which I could force myself to do before, but what I couldn't do is talk or not seem so anxious it made other people uncomfortable. Incidentally none of my new friends did drugs themselves, and had no idea I used them until I informed them of it senior year, so it's not just drug friends like I would see back home to get the stuff from.

Now I'm so addicted I know I'll never ever quit and doing enough opiates every day to kill 10 non-tolerant people, destroyed my credit with cash advances, collapsed every single vein in my arms, and have been arrested. Was it worth it? Fuck yes. Having friends like that meant everything to me. I'm not recommending this approach, but sometimes when you have exhausted all other options you wind up trying things you'd never think you would.

I guess my point is you just have to get out there and sit down with people, and do whatever it takes to get yourself able to do it.
 
Great idea use hard drugs and become addicted to make friends... maybe the drugs made you feel comfortable wit anybody you were hanging out with or just closer and comfortable very ignorant approach drugs usualy bring you father away from real socializing which i have relized through my addiction to opiates
 
--I stopped taking celexa three weeks ago and I guess I really did need it I was just having "one of those moments" in which I feel desperate and alone. Ive got to look at the positive aspects!!

--I guess my point is you just have to get out there and sit down with people, and do whatever it takes to get yourself able to do it.

holy fuck you guys are making me regret coming back to north america. this is like typical american beauty-style alienation. "haha, im on my meds, who cares if im all, all alone! life is just peachy!" and "just shoot some heroin to make friends...anything...just ANYTHING to be popular!"

holy fuck what a world
 
The solution isn't simple. But I think making friends is something that should come along once you learn to meet new people first.

Some people are less shy than others, and are able to meet people with ease. Other people tend to be a little bit more reserved. Either way, the hardest part is usually the initiation, and after that, it gets easier. And you can get better at it all with practice.

other tips when dealing with people:
- say their name (i think it feels nice). of course, don't overdo it.
- smile

Oh, and most especially, learn to face rejection. Just say "hi" or ask them a question, if they blow you off, then fuck 'em.
 
Ive not read this thread in a while. Im doing a lot better. This thread was not supposed to be about not having friends, I had a different title but a mod changed it to what they thought was suitable. I was just really down and not seeing people made me feel depressed. Im doing better now, back on my meds :). Hanging out with people again. Trying not to procrastinate in college.

[<snip>-RR]
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Well, the title of your thread was "College :\". Which, when placed into a college & university oriented forum, isn't very descriptive, is it? The beginning of the second sentence in your original post is "So far I have not been making any friends and am pretty much on my own...". So, one could conclude from that statement, and the rest of the post, that you were having trouble making friends, which is why I changed it.

On another note, don't tell other posters to "fuck themselves". If there's a problem post in a thread, report it.

Otherwise, since you wanted to use this thread to vent, I'm closing this down, unless you want to send me a PM with a compelling argument as to why this thread should be re-opened, I'm willing to listen.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top