Miscellaneous Tripkillers and egodeath?

[Ash_]

Hey!
I'm wondering what your experiences are with using benzo tripkillers and ego-death, reading on the net there are two schools of thought: one is that tripkillers work great and kills the entire trip, the other is that you can get too relaxed and sucked into even more halluicinations...
Been doing a lot of shrooms last half a year and have had three (over)doses that put me into a soul-crushing hyper-hallucinogenic state for 1-2 hours when peaking.

First time was when I calculated the wrong dose so that was totally on me, second and third time was both after smoking a blunt as well - I know it potentiates the shroom trip but I'm talking about an insane amount, I don't know if it's just been coincidence or not... anyways after the second time I started making a calendar how much I took which day and a 0-10 scale of how intense the trip was and thought I got a good hang of how much I can take but then it happened again with just half as much as the second time (but this time I had waited a few days more than previously which seemed to have a great influence).
Last time I was riding the peaks which came in waves so was 5-6 times but only lasted like 5min each time which made it manegable compared to both times previously which was one long mega intense hallucinogenic state.

I'm not sure if what I'm experiencing is ego death or something like temporary psychosis, I can't say if it's like my brain exploding or imploding with hallucinations and get this soul destroying feeling when being sucked into it,
it almost feels like psychosis but if it's ego-death then maybe it's just me being scared when it happens.
Anyways it's made me have much more respect than earlier, it's just that I love both the hallucinations and the therapeutic aspect of it and have been taking high does due to taking the trips too close to each other...
I know the riscs in taking high doses and as I said I started a calendar so it wouldn't happen again but then it did... next time I have a weak/non-existant trip I'm going to try again with smoking a blunt (but of course with a much lower dose).

Now, would benzos kill these hyper-hallucinogenic states? I know benzos kills bad trips but read in more than one place that it doesn't lower the amount of hallucinations and you'd need anti-psychotics for that.
Does anyone have real life experience with this? Would quetiapine work? (It's easy to get here, or do you have anything else to recommend? It'd need to be fast acting - nothing that takes two hours to kick in (I read lithium can make it worse)
Does weed make such an intense difference for you as well? Sure this last AK47 hashish was insanely powerful but it's as I said far from the first time me doing both...

I'm wondering if it's just me scared letting go of the ego or what it is but having something to lower the amount of hallucinations would be a blessing to have just in case.
I've never had a bad trip on acid, no matter the dosage, but shrooms have humbled me three times now and can't even begin to bescribe the experiences... let's just say it's been the amount of hallucinations that have been the problem - not thought loops, dark thoughts, or the like...

//Ash

 

[Ash_]

And as to why I take such large doses it's because I love a lot of hallucinations but the border between a good trip and too much is sooo fine I found after the third time, which was just half as much shrooms as the second time it happened.
If I don't have a decent amount of hallucinations I find the trips too 'boring' and unrevealing and it'll just feel like I wasted the shrooms I took...

 

[Skippwiggins]

Benzos have only ever stopped trips for me or aided in keeping me calm enough to experience the true magic of it. It never made it more intense except in good ways. Never increased hallucinations. I rarely trip without having a benzo about 30min after consuming a psychedelic. Just prevents any possibility of a bad trip and I used to get a TON of bad trips, it was literally a 50-50 chance. A benzo guarantees i won't have one. Im talking 0.5-1mg clonazepam, xanax etc max.

Weed makes me trip 10x harder. For good or bad. Usually bad. Weed alone makes me trip out really intensely. Regular smokers find that it smooths it out though.

Valerian root works for me if benzos aren't available but its not guaranteed to prevent a bad trip for me but it really helps me calm down. Smooths it out.

Should be noted im talking about LSD mostly. Which lasts forever. On mushrooms I find i have far less bad trips or paranoia but it still happens. I still won't take them without a benzo.

Should note I have severe ptsd symtpoms that manifest when I trip. Thats why I use benzos. Otherwise I'd never have a bad trip.

 

[Deleted member 521610]

quetiapine can kill the entire trip but its a horrible state to be in i once used it kill my trip of 500 ug + weed where i went full on psychotic i left this reality and went to hell in the short second i had clarity i downed it from my trip sitter i then spent the next 8 hours lying on the floor sedated while i went through some horrible stuff.

weed is usually the cause of a majority of bad trips it makes the trip confusing induces it to way higher levels and removes the clarity of psychedelics. It induces ego dissolution more easily but not a clear pure way like the psychedelic alone.

I would say stay clear of weed on psychedelics if this is your reaction on the trips after smoking it because i also had the reaction to weed on my trips. So i simply stopped smoking on my trips and had way better trips. Want to increase the effects just take higher doses instead of smoking weed its easy to handle high dose psychedelics than psychedelic combo with weed.

Ego death can go a few ways the dissolution starts the thought stream starts to become overwhelming can be pretty confusing suddenly you don't know where your thoughts start or even end your identity is getting stripped away there is just a bunch of happening body disappears you still have a awareness all these random thoughts with no idea what anything even means this usually leads to a thought that triggers the full complete breakthrough ego death at this point your awareness then turns onto awareness itself at this stage you have no human body no human identity the awareness will then ponder what it is at this stage it has no attachment to anything in this universe its just a blank awareness in a void it then realizes the true-self and you merge into infinity and become god this is true complete ego death. The visuals and experience is beyond anything and will convert people into believers it lasts anywhere from seconds to minutes buts its timeless outside of everything while been everything inside all the true nature of our existence.

Ego death is pretty much a automatic process at the stage before it if you simply stop fighting and let go it goes a easy route if you hold on for dear life it will take you to hell.

 

[G_Chem]

So I’ve only had to benzo myself once, and only had to benzo someone else once... Out of many experiences.

I used a very small amount of lorazepam in both cases which seemed satisfactory to dull the anxiety enough to make the trip productive again without killing it.

I’d estimate probably .1mg or so, .2mg Max.

I think using these low doses is key. I could see too much creating a new set of problems.

-GC

 

[pupnik]

@Ash_ this is not a car(egodeath) with gas(psyches) and brakes (depressants).

somehow you have arrived at a diving test with no lessons.

what are you doing? why take the driving test without lessons? you are here by mistake!

this is not a viking rite of passage. the viking days are over.

I think and should not be involved with cars (drugs)

 

[Ash_]

Ego death is pretty much a automatic process at the stage before it if you simply stop fighting and let go it goes a easy route if you hold on for dear life it will take you to hell.

What you described fit kind of perfectly, first and second time I didn't think about ego death and it was just a ride in hell not knowing what to expect and for how long...
The 'episodes' was always over in an hour or two but felt like an eternity, last time was not so bad but it came and went i waves which I hadn't experienced before so it felt a bit strange.
But yeah - I will never mix large doses of shrooms and weed again, it really does increase the trip intensity like ten fold.. it's just strange I've never had that 'problem' before - tho this last time I hadn't smoked in weeks so that was probably it...

Cheers!

@Ash_ this is not a car(egodeath) with gas(psyches) and brakes (depressants).

somehow you have arrived at a diving test with no lessons.

what are you doing? why take the driving test without lessons? you are here by mistake!

this is not a viking rite of passage. the viking days are over.

I think and should not be involved with cars (drugs)

You're just being ridiculous, I'm talking about an emergency brake as a last resort - of like two hundred trips I've only experienced ego death three times but those times have had such deep impact on my spirit - they have tought me more than all other trips combined, but anyways it's scary as heck letting go the first times and I don't want it to happen again because it's absolutely soul-crunching.
I'm not talking about using it regularly as an on/off button...

 

[pupnik]

so these 3 ED events are favorite memories, great!

can you really say they taught you something, I mean, can you write out what they taught you? I mean, when this happens, it is not that easy to recall what it is back in your regular skin.

personally I know I forget most of the beauty, and complexity - I have been unable to recreate the sparkle or even remember exactly what it is to attempt re-creation later.

SalviaD and salvinorin-A was my main way of getting out of my day-to-day frame of mind for 8 years from 2005. I wrote out thousands of reports, all of them are missing 99.9% of what was amazing

 

[G_Chem]

If your needing large doses just to trip yet simultaneously wanting to negate the intensity, that means your tripping too much and need more integration.

The more you trip the tougher the experiences can get as your not implementing what you’ve learned. After re-reading your post I think the better solution is to ramp back your use.

Also ego death/loss isn’t the end goal, I think that’s what pupnik was trying to get at. It’s just one experience that can happen among many. My best experiences weren’t ego death/ego loss, I didn’t learn anything new from those more intense experiences except maybe to be humble.

-GC

 

[Ash_]

so these 3 ED events are favorite memories, great!

Favorite no, absolutely not, that's why I'm asking if trip'killers' actually worked in that state...
I actually remember pretty much of the trips and it's a life long enterprise trying to integrate those deep experiences and nothing I can put in words...

If your needing large doses just to trip yet simultaneously wanting to negate the intensity, that means your tripping too much and need more integration.

The more you trip the tougher the experiences can get as your not implementing what you’ve learned. After re-reading your post I think the better solution is to ramp back your use.

Also ego death/loss isn’t the end goal, I think that’s what pupnik was trying to get at. It’s just one experience that can happen among many. My best experiences weren’t ego death/ego loss, I didn’t learn anything new from those more intense experiences except maybe to be humble.

-GC

I only want it as a last resort I said, just in case - it would make me feel more at ease knowing I _could_ stop it... but now that I understand it's 'just' ego-death - if it happens again I will be so much more at ease and hopefully be able to let go.
Oh after this last time - absolutely I've ramped back in both amount and how often I take it.
No, those are my 'worst' experiences and not my goal at all - the absolutely opposite, but they have also given me much insight, _I_ had several things to learn - but that might not be for everyone...

 

[pupnik]

@Ash_
I bet if you said to your entheogenated self that you remember pretty much what happened, your stoned self would have a huge hearty laugh knowing how much could never ever be shoehorned back into your tiny flatenned unstoned brain..

My guess is that back here in flat old I-can-type-land I can work hard to reconstruct a poor effigy of what it's like when high, strange things spontaneous and ephemeral are constantly in flux occurring in layers or more than 3 dimensions, where time is thicker than air.

 

[Lux Exterior]

I used to use benzos when I would start feeling anxious during a trip but now I just like to have some alcohol handy cus it doesn't totally kill the trip and instead just suspends it for a little while. Red Wine actually gives you a different high if used in cahoots with LSD. Benzos are just not worth it imo unless the little black things start coming after your ass. EgoDeath is hippy propaganda.