I feel like I'm not fulfilling my life's purpose. All my time is taken up by studying and work, but I feel like time is running out to save the Earth, and that I'm wasting it by not going out and DOING things. I want to plant trees full-time, and coordinate volunteers to restore plants and wildlife throughout cities. I hate that I'm waiting and waiting to do this, because I know I have the skills to do it now.
I just feel obligated to finish school mostly because I want to say I've completed it, but the extremely heavy courseload and work is taking a heavy toll on me - I'm addicted to higher and higher doses of amphetamines (adderall) to get through the day, because I'm ignoring my body's need to rest a lot. I don't have time to eat, or meditate, or take care of myself in any way. I'm getting gaunt, strung out and burnt out.
I don't have time to do anything that I feel is meaningful. I like my classes, but I feel like I'm wasting my time - our society is going to collapse SOON, and I'm not ready for it. I feel trapped in this charade of sorts, everywhere I turn I am locked in and kept from fulfilling my life's purpose and kept from being fulfilled in my physical, emotional and spiritual life. I don't know how other people manage it - either they are superhuman or I am just really stupid or I am just missing something here. What am I missing?
On a more positive note, my friend and I are starting to plant trees with a local nonprofit, starting next Saturday if they have room for us. I am really trying to do meaningful things that will help our planet... I'm just not as good at it as I could be.
I just feel obligated to finish school mostly because I want to say I've completed it, but the extremely heavy courseload and work is taking a heavy toll on me - I'm addicted to higher and higher doses of amphetamines (adderall) to get through the day, because I'm ignoring my body's need to rest a lot. I don't have time to eat, or meditate, or take care of myself in any way. I'm getting gaunt, strung out and burnt out.
I don't have time to do anything that I feel is meaningful. I like my classes, but I feel like I'm wasting my time - our society is going to collapse SOON, and I'm not ready for it. I feel trapped in this charade of sorts, everywhere I turn I am locked in and kept from fulfilling my life's purpose and kept from being fulfilled in my physical, emotional and spiritual life. I don't know how other people manage it - either they are superhuman or I am just really stupid or I am just missing something here. What am I missing?
On a more positive note, my friend and I are starting to plant trees with a local nonprofit, starting next Saturday if they have room for us. I am really trying to do meaningful things that will help our planet... I'm just not as good at it as I could be.