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Transition from Teenager to Adulthood

lostNfound

lostNfound

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Mar 20, 2005
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Mods, wasn't sure where to stick this, but thought it could be interesting.

After responding to this thread Post 7 positive points about your body, as I was typing I reaslised I'm in a transition period at 26 that I have been in for some time. Well I didn't just realise but thought more about it.

When we hit puberty in our teen years our bodies start to change and our ideas of the world change etc etc.

Up until fairly recently I sill felt like I was in this in between period, where I personally didn't feel the world around me viewed me as an adult or moreso as a man.

I felt they saw as something in between a teenager and kind of a young adult.


Being 26, I'm just strting to feel that the world sees me for my age and actually views me as a man and not as a kid or a teenager or something else in between.

Sometimes in the past, I didn't feel comfortable in business meetings, not thinking people would take me seriously because in my head I might be thinking I'm too young to be there.

Since I'm in the middle of a growth spurt and filling out and feeling more confident, I'm feeling like people take me more seriously as an adult out in the world.
In part, I'd say for me this has alot to do with feeling more confident about myself as a person being more comfortable with who I am.


What are your experiences in this transition period in noticing how you portray yourself as opposed to how you think you portray yourself to the world around you?

A little development in the Johari window I guess 9something that's always fascinated me)

I refer to this phase a mental & physical change working as one.

For me it's a whole paradigm shift, feeling the same person I've always been inside but having grown physically on the outside my perception of myself and how others perceive me has changed drastically.
 
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lostNfound said:
what are your experiences with realising that you are the person you portray yourself to be as opposed to what you think you portray and what people actually think of you and how that relates to this phase in your life?

I refer to this phase a mental & physical change working as one.

For me it's a whole paradigm shift.
Click to expand...

I've read this question several times, and it's giving me a headache. Could you break it down into "Barney terms"???
 
what are your experiences with realising that you are the person you portray yourself to be as opposed to what you think you portray and what people actually think of you and how that relates to this phase in your life?"

I am me. Not a portrayal, nor an opinion in my or someone else's head. I am a human being, adult, male, therefore a man. I cannot be elegantly simplified, noone can really know who I am, including myself.
 
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^lol, another mathematician...

But damnit all to hell. I fancy myself as a man who has an answer (or at least a funny/witty/trollish response) for every conceivable question. This one has me scratching my head.
 
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Growing up is seamless to me. There is no "eureka" moment or monumental epiphanies. People notice it in you, but you won't notice it in yourself (kind of like weight loss).

Everyone would like to believe that they are mature, cultured, sensitive, intelligent, empathetic, and charismatic. But it's not always perceived by other people. That's why you can't blame anyone for their behavior in high school. People's personalities go to the extremes during that time...later they tend to mellow out.

Mellow out in these ways...

1. You stop taking notice of the differences in people. You celebrate and respect them instead of projecting your insecurities on them.

2. You accept that being an adult sometimes means doing things you really do not want to do. There is no get rich quick scheme, no shortcuts.

3. You learn to like yourself instead of constantly searching to change.

4. You recognize that you are not perfect. It is only through meeting other people and learning about other ways of thinking that you grow.
 
Lol, try growing up twice.

I've gone from being perceived as a female young adult to a 14 year old boy. It's weird to finish one puberty and have people start respecting you a little more, and then go start another one and be back in the same spot.

I guess I can't really answer the question, but just wanted to point out that "growing down" is a strange experience for sure. I'll let you know how it goes when I start looking my age...
 
lNf, do you mean to ask about experiences of people when changing their physical appearance or "maturing" to suit the expected age demographic of their social environment?

I too am not so clear on your question.
 
Fair call guys, was late when i wrote that, it seems a bit wordy with about 100 questions over a couple lines.

I'll edit original question in first post to read more clearly now.
 
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Growing up and gaining a little more understanding is a great thing. wish more people did it. they'll understand sometime.
 
lostNfound said:
What are your experiences in this transition period in noticing how you portray yourself as opposed to how you think you portray yourself to the world around you?
Click to expand...

Still confused.

Is what you're asking similar to this:

"Did you notice, at some later point in the transition period, that the way you've actually been perceived by others throughout the period is different from the way you had been thinking, earlier in the period, that you were being perceived by others?"

In this case, what's going on is indicated by the verb tenses. And an example of what's going on can be "modeled" like this:

1. Bob experienced a "transition period" from age 18 to 26.
2. Throughout the period, Bob was always perceived as mature and "wise beyond his years."
3. Between the ages of 18 and 25.49, Bob thought he was perceived as youthful and immature.
4. At 25.50, Bob woke up and realized how he was actually being perceived.

Hence, Bob would answer "yes" to the question.
 
^ i've grown 6 cm taller over the past month or so, so if that isn't a growth spurt i don't know what is.
 
that is kinda weird if you ask me :)
pretty cool though
when was the last time you had a growth spurt before?
have you changed your lifestyle?

have you ever heard of a condition called "Acromegaly''? it's a condition where your growth hormone levels are extremely elevated. this can cause your body to grow. i would check that out if i were you.
 
bipolair said:
that is kinda weird if you ask me :)
pretty cool though
when was the last time you had a growth spurt before?
have you changed your lifestyle?

have you ever heard of a condition called "Acromegaly''? it's a condition where your growth hormone levels are extremely elevated. this can cause your body to grow. i would check that out if i were you.
Click to expand...



big lifestyle change.
pretty much cut out all drug use, which was pretty rampant for a while. mostly meth.
a lot more active now, i spend weeknights in the gym and weekends hiking etc.
also changed my diet and using protein and glutamine supplements.

no i do not have acromegaly.
 
Realizing that walking around pissed off at everything and everyone was not the way to go. It is a lot like giving up. I think trying to connect with people about things that piss your off and letting your past dictate your attitude towards the present is pretty weaksauce. When I realized that shit will not make me, or anyone I deal with happy, I think my preception of myself became a little more in line with reality rather than what was only in my head.
 
Great thread idea lnf!

I'd say that I was mostly in denial about growing up until sometime last year. I still thought of myself as an awkward 16 year old, and unfortunately that showed in some aspects of my personality which led to me being treated more or less as such. In the last year or so I've really pulled myself together, learned a great deal about social interaction and presenting an image, as well as tempering self-reflexion with inferred (and on the rare occasion explicit) opinions from others. It has taken many years, but I do genuinely think of myself as an adult, although I'm still trying not to fall too far into the trap of comfortable stasis that catches so many when they are around my age. I turn 29 in September.

6 cm growth at 26 is not usual, but not necessarily pathological or anything. You probably just are on the far end of the bell curve when it comes to the timing and magnitude of your last growth spurt. Mine was around 3 cm at 20.
 
lostNfound said:
M

Up until fairly recently I sill felt like I was in this in between period, where I personally didn't feel the world around me viewed me as an adult or moreso as a man.

I felt they saw as something in between a teenager and kind of a young adult.


Being 26, I'm just strting to feel that the world sees me for my age and actually views me as a man and not as a kid or a teenager or something else in between.

Sometimes in the past, I didn't feel comfortable in business meetings, not thinking people would take me seriously because in my head I might be thinking I'm too young to be there.

Since I'm in the middle of a growth spurt and filling out and feeling more confident, I'm feeling like people take me more seriously as an adult out in the world.
In part, I'd say for me this has alot to do with feeling more confident about myself as a person being more comfortable with who I am.


What are your experiences in this transition period in noticing how you portray yourself as opposed to how you think you portray yourself to the world around you?
Click to expand...

Wow, this is a great thread!

I totally get what you mean. I always feel like this. I'm 21 though, so I'm sure I still have a few more years of this akwardness :\

I'm glad you feel like you are being viewed for who you really are now, both mentally and physically. That's awesome :)

But yes, I feel so much like a kid most of the time. I feel odd paying bills and rent, going to college classes... like "Wait, wasn't I just in high school a week ago???" kind of feeling.

And sometimes I worry, "Am I coming off like I know what I'm doing?" when speaking to authority, or doing something "adult-like" such as going to the bank or buying a 6-pack. It doesn't help that (according to most people) I look a bit youngish. I get mistaken for 16 or 17 a lot :)
 
Am I coming off like I know what I'm doing?
Click to expand...

I've gotten pretty good at faking this, although I think that more people suffer from a mild form of Impostor Syndrome than you'd think. For example, I've been working in my profession for a year and a half, I have two engineers (one that's 10 years my senior) and a PhD asking my professional opinion, and I still feel like all it will take is one slip up and they'll realize that I don't know what I'm talking about, even though I do. Dealing with this is part confidence which comes with experience, and part acting. It's kind of fun, except for when I realize that my income depends on how well I can pull it off. Isn't self-doubt fun!

One of the biggest epiphany moments that I had which spurred me on to adulthood was that everyone's second-grade teacher lied to them. Nobody is special, nobody is important outside of a small social circle, and in essence nobody is irreplaceable. Society, and the universe at large doesn't care if any of us exists, and as such we have to make whatever meaning we can for our lives. It sounds bleak, but it is actually quite empowering. The world won't care if I succeed or fail, but I will, and that's enough for me.
 
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