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Social Justice Transgender and gender identity discussion

I personally don't feel any shame in being a man or feel like I have had my rights reduced or feel emotionally suppressed or anything, but I was also raised in an emotionally open family and allowed be sensitive and in touch with myself. I did feel picked on about that as a kid by my peers and I saw a lot of boys I knew become quite repressed, they probably didn't have the same situation I had at home. Interestingly, I live in one of the LGBT capitals of the country, and I feel fully accepted as a straight white man. I literally have no problems with that whatsoever. I've got a good friend who is MTF trans who I am going to hang out with today (she's my friend's roommate and we're going to celebrate my birthday today over there with the whole crew), no judgment towards me at all, she's great, even when I call her "he" (which happens by accident sometimes, but she understands as she looks like a man still). This same friend did have 2 female roommates recently who were horrible to him and he kicked them out eventually because they were terrible bigots towards him (and me and any other white male who came over) because he's a white male. And they invented a narrative about the situation that he oppressed them, that they were scared of him, etc, when he bent over backwards to try to make them feel welcome in his home. It was bullshit, but I don't take those people as a representation of the entire thing. Those were two angry individuals, who, like many people from any group, take out their life's frustrations on innocent people. But by and large I have no problems.

However, like I said, I do think our culture breeds toxicity into males in general, for sure. But it is not inevitable that you feel that toxicity. It's up to the individual. I have done a lot of work on myself as an adult and I am happy with who I am. I recognize I have privilege but it doesn't shame me and I do my best to be equitable to everyone. The majority of people see this and appreciate me for it, and if they don't, oh well, some people never will and that's their own battle, not mine.

I think our culture breeds toxicity into pretty much all people, or at least it tries to. I think we all feel a frustrating sense of powerlessness in the face of policy and politics. I do, it's something I have to actively work to ignore/dispel. And I agree it's probably worst, emotionally, for men. I say probably because I'm not a woman so I can't say that with surety.
 
Ignoring emotions is actually a lot easier than dealing with them. It's the result from dealing with it or not that can drastically change a person.

The social construct of what it means to be a man often times encourages this negligent behavior of one's own emotions. The immediate result of denying your own emotions allows an ignorance is bliss type of lifestyle that often ends in heart attack. A fullfilling life is one that you have control over, including dealing with your emotions on a personal level.
 
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I think it's very unfortunately that some people have gone too far in that direction with this whole thing, it gives people who have a problem with the trans thing ammunition to speak against it. Most people are heterosexual, I mean it[s obvious why, it's because of reproduction. When people show bigotry against heterosexuals, they're being bigots like anyone else. It's not surprising that some people would react this way... any time an oppressed/discriminated against group has a chance to eliminate that, some people go too far and react in an equal way against the group(s) they perceive as oppressing them. It's normal. What we should focus on is that there are people who have always had confusion about their gender. Transgender is a real thing and these people have really have a difficult time in the past. That should be the focus of the discussion. We should all learn to accept that, for some people this is their reality, even if we can't understand it because it is not our reality.

Also, what wolfgang said... transgender is different from homosexuality.
 
What I find sad is that trans people are being overshadowed by leftist activism that's mostly occupied by a white, cis, hetero female demographic. These bougie people get all the benefits and privileges of being part of ivory tower institutionalism but they don't have to face any of the backlash of pushing the general public into a defensive position. The people who end up suffering are the trans people, who the ignorant will assume are part and parcel with the ideological bourgeois, and that's what I don't want to see.

If you listen to the average trans person's life story, their history of violence and marginalization, you will instantly see why it's important that they be given protection and equality. You wouldn't know that though from the screaming, mouth foaming leftists who claim to be supporting trans but really are just a radical vanguard for patriarchy theory and gender deconstructionist ideology. It's a tangled mess.

If grassroots activism does not include storytelling, then it just becomes a group-think-speak movement pushing ideas instead of human realities. To me, this is the reason for the major disconnect we're seeing.
 
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Foreigner said:
What I find sad is that trans people are being overshadowed by leftist activism that's mostly occupied by a white, cis, hetero female demographic.

If you listen to the average trans person's life story, their history of violence and marginalization, you will instantly see why it's important that they be given protection and equality. You wouldn't know that though from the screaming, mouth foaming leftists who claim to be supporting trans but really are just a radical vanguard for patriarchy theory and gender deconstructionist ideology. It's a tangled mess.

If grassroots activism does not include storytelling, then it just becomes a group-think-speak movement pushing ideas instead of human realities. To me, this is the reason for the major disconnect we're seeing.
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Still have no idea who tf you are on about.
 
Draven26 said:
If you'd like to see the intersection of sexism, racism, and a guest appearance by transphobia (bc this doesn't even have a trans person in it), look no farther than the case of Caster Semenya.
Semenya is a Gold Medal Olympian whose naturally occurring testosterone is higher than the International Association of Athletics Federations allows. Rather than, say, "you were created in a way that is perfect and beautiful and were blessed with chemicals that may or may not improve your athletic ability", they said "take these pills bc we must bring you, a black woman, down".
This is racist because can we please stop having a governing body led by white men criticize black people's bodies?
This is sexist because can we please stop trying to police women's bodies?
This is transphobic because not only is the idea that any sort deviation from some "standard set" of female qualities implies that you are less than a woman. It is also transphobic because Semenya was forced to under go a sex verification test in 2015.

^^ So that was her post right?

And my response was this .. “Isn't Caster Semenya a man though? Or was a man? Caster Semenya is trans right? And if that is the case let's be honest.. they are not being sexist or racist. But men naturally have higher testosterone than women and this is why when you introduce trans people and gay people.. problems occur. But of course we have to try to accommodate to everyone. And I know people will hate me for saying this but I have no hate but come on now. This is a man competing against women.. the fact that he's a man and he's black means he is going to smoke their ass and come out victorious every time.. so they should accept it knowing fully what's going on.. lol people always stirring up shit just to get some drama going on in their lives”


Then she says “the only thing I have to say to your ignorant statement is intersex is not trans”


And another person responds “I'm pretty sure I know exactly what you meant by the "and he's black" but but let's get it in your own words”

What would you guys have said if you were me because I wasn't trying to offend anyone honestly! Could someone help me understand what I did that was wrong and how I would be able to word it next time so I don't offend anyone? Thank you! Just need some opinions on this and how you would respond that way I don't make the same mistake if I made any mistakes that is.
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OMG speak the truth, thank you for starting this column, I was about to start one myself!lol! I’m a tran MtoF and I have received nothing but support from females of all ages. Also I’m so grateful that my family has been supportive as well due to so many people being rejected by their families. I grew up in a tight New Jersey Italian American family and there’s nothing breaking us apart; though I do see how many other LGBTQ people look at me as the upper middle class white kid with all of the advantages. Although I’ve had my own share of awful problems as my family has, I agree that I had and still have it so good. I lived in the Deep South for 6 years (Pensacola, Mobile And Nola to be exact) the women were so excited and supportive of me, even the old southern belles whom grew up in the 1950s south were supportive. Unless they talk shit about me behind my back, which I’m sure has occurred more than once, but haters will hate.lol Anyways, when it comes to males, I’m always on edge because the always seem so intimated around me. Plus I’ve lost about 90% of my old male friends due to me coming out, but like I said “IDGAF, haters will hate.”:giggle: Anyways, I am now in Connecticut and can’t complain about my support structure, I get uncomfortable when many LGBTQ people always have political convos, blabber on about how much everybody hates them and most commonly blame every one of their problems on Trump.lol I’m not a huge fan of the guy but cmon people, stop being so righteously pissed off all of the time, maybe if we don’t get so angry at straight people for being uneducated about our community, some of them will warm up. I could care less about winning over straight folks, but I just want to love.lol On the other hand I have witnessed more Suffering in the black LGBTQ community and with black women in general as well. I don’t know why, though there seems to be an ancient stigma towards Black LGBTQ people like the beyond horrid stereotype of rampant Aids and sexual abuse which is just as common anywhere else. My apologies for mentioning these disgusting stereotypes, I feel like a monster for even typing them out, but many ignorant people still think this way whether they express it behind closed doors or are vocal in spreading this hate and it’s keeping so many people down. White privilege racism exists and I’ve witnessed it a great deal growing up with Italian American males in suburban NJ. I hate to say it about my ethnic group, but I’ve met more extremely racist Italians in my life than any other white ethnic group. Call it a nasty stereotype of my community, but it’s unfortunately very prevalent. Just over 30 years ago, blacks and Latinos were getting beaten up or killed in Bensonhurst Brooklyn, NY, Staten Island and Howard Beach, Queens which are huge Italian american enclaves. Though it’s changed for the better in those areas, from the 40s to the 2000s if you weren’t White, you would eventually be shouted at with slurs, chased out of the neighborhood or even worse. My parents raised my siblings and I different to just be as kind as possible. After living in the Deep South and having many experiences with Mississippi, I honestly have to say that the racism in the Italian areas in the Northeast and Great Lakes areas like Chicago/Detroit were much more vocally hostile towards minorities than southern white people are. Now back on topic, most of the new female friends that became BFFs after my coming out of the closet were black females. I got to really know them and think of them as my family now. Also I got to know their families and met number of black LGBTQ people as well. Unfortunately many of the men seem very timid in their communities and kept their true identity to a minimum in the fear of hostility from other black males or in one case one poor guy’s father who lived on the block and rejected him with every bone in his body. This guy verbally and physically hurt his adult Gay son whenever he got the chance. I know that these stereotypes and scenarios are not just made up by the media, but are 150% accurate because I experienced them just by witnessing the norm. They even told me to keep my feminine self to a minimum for that exact reason that I would insight hostility and cause problems in their neighborhood. I hope to see progression in this side of America and will be apart of this positive change as well.
 
I dont want to be a woman but i do think when im around them how different there body is compared to ours this turns me on to for some reason.

Their has never been a better time to be gay, muslim or whatever well maybe not muslim because unfortunately they are still discriminated by the right, but you know what i mean.
 
Pete556 said:
They mess with your mind all these new phrases and memes they make you to i don't know what t call it anyway ima get sum fresh air brb
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Aha while do believe that it’s respectful and polite for people to use correct pronouns when talking to Lgbtq people, I don’t get offended whatsoever if someone messes up by calling me the wrong pronoun, I’d rather be friendly and approachable to educate those whom actually want to learn about the LGBTQ community. Like the person correcting me would rather acknowledge that my labels weren’t to their satisfactory than discuss some of the more important issues that I or previous posts stated above. I’ve learned to just smile and walk away from angry people looking for a pointless argument. The argument goes nowhere because they thrive on anger and would rather be outraged than to come to an understanding between eachother. Exactly like Peter Griffin arguing with a stubborn mule that Kevin Bacon was indeed in Footloose.:ROFLMAO:
 
CheerUpSleepyJean43 said:
I don’t get offended whatsoever if someone messes up by calling me the wrong pronoun, I’d rather be friendly and approachable to educate those whom actually want to learn about the LGBTQ community. Like the person correcting me would rather acknowledge that my labels weren’t to their satisfactory than discuss some of the more important issues that I or previous posts stated above.
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it's one thing if they mistakenly use the wrong term, but anyone that intentionally mis-genders people isn't interested in being an ally. if I ask that you call me "tath" and you instead insist on calling me "ashley", you're a fucking rude asshole, no ifs, ands, or buts about it. there is no valid reason for calling someone by something other than the term they asked you to refer to them with, and there is nothing to be gained by interacting with people that act in bad faith like that, their only interest is causing harm to others in any way they can
 
tathra said:
it's one thing if they mistakenly use the wrong term, but anyone that intentionally mis-genders people isn't interested in being an ally. if I ask that you call me "tath" and you instead insist on calling me "ashley", you're a fucking rude asshole, no ifs, ands, or buts about it. there is no valid reason for calling someone by something other than the term they asked you to refer to them with, and there is nothing to be gained by interacting with people that act in bad faith like that, their only interest is causing harm to others in any way they can
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Exactly like I said about it being respectful and polite to address us how we want. But I’m not going to get outraged if I just meet a stranger and they accidentally call me the wrong pronoun. Some people don’t realize that they mistakenly call me male pronouns when I first meet them because I have a deep voice and stocky masculine build. It’s one thing if they get it wrong a couple of times when just meeting them, but if someone repeatedly addresses you by the wrong name or pronoun, they’re just being rude and are trying to get arise out of us because it fuels their ignorance, making them feel good. When someone is poking jokes at me or refusing to accept me because they’re most likely intimidated by the idea of my alternative lifestyle, I never get mad at them.

Once they’ve gotten me angry due to their ignorance, they get all warm and fuzzy inside thinking they’ve won a battle. Our Orange man in America does it everyday and you better believe that he is laughing his ass off because he got a bunch of people outraged. Life is too short to be outraged at close minded idiots acting like children, in the few times that I’ve been harassed or made fun of I just blow em a kiss and walk away.

Now it’s different if a trans person is physically hurt, having their life put in danger or anything more serious than ignorant fun poking like a 8 year old boy. Another reason that I avoid conflict with ignorant people teasing me, is because those situations can escalate into violence very fast. What do I have to prove or gain by getting into a fight or argument with this dipshit? I’m not going to change his mind because that’s his dim witted belief structure, so why waste the negative energy? Hate and ignorance will always exist in our society and I don’t have any time for it.

Last but not least, we have to stop telling people what they can and can’t say in America because it’s offensive. We have freedom of speech for a reason and once that starts dwindling, you better believe us LGBTQ people will be at major risk of losing everything that generations have fought for. What about our freedom of speech to say and do as we please as unique and beautiful people? Of course hate speech is a bleak disgrace to the human race, but once we start making exceptions to the rule on the Constitution and freedom of speech, then a many more rights and privileges will follow suit. Like the Right is so concerned about their gun rights being taken away while they violate Roe Vs. Wade aka rights to abortion, by controlling what women do with their bodies is violating the Constitution as well. Ugh the USA is one hot mess as Marty Huggins would say.lol

Anyways, besides getting off topic towards the end of my post, I’ve said my piece. Some will agree and some will disagree. Goodnight fam
 
tathra said:
it's one thing if they mistakenly use the wrong term, but anyone that intentionally mis-genders people isn't interested in being an ally. if I ask that you call me "tath" and you instead insist on calling me "ashley", you're a fucking rude asshole, no ifs, ands, or buts about it. there is no valid reason for calling someone by something other than the term they asked you to refer to them with, and there is nothing to be gained by interacting with people that act in bad faith like that, their only interest is causing harm to others in any way they can
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what can you do when you live with someone like that and you got no where else to go..:( Yeah life sure can suck
 
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