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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

Tragedy I am stuck on. Need an opinion plz

g3nov3s3 said:
How come all this mental illnesses are only in America????
I've never heard of anyone in my country to suffer from autism, ADHD,Asperger, dyslexia,Tourette syndrome,etc..
Oh, sure there are crazy people but they are usually locked away in nut-houses and stuff.

For the OP:
-the biggest advantage of living in America is that you can sue anyone for pretty much everything. Money won't take your pain away but it's better to suffer and be rich than to suffer and be broke...
Click to expand...

This sort of thing never really makes a person feel truly better again... Knowing that you are being malicious and reckless--just like the babysitter was being--makes you no better than the babysitter herself [in my opinion].

As far as your country goes, could you provide any kind of information regarding studies that have been done proving this assumption of yours? The last time I checked, psychological issues are a problem in every country. Yeah, autism is something Americans seem to be dealing with on a huge level, but we haven't figured out the exact cause of it yet so to say that it's a result of gross negligence is a bit assumptuous, don't you think? Placing the blame on an entire country for mental illnesses--which in cases such as autism, tourettes, etc. are not fully understood--is a bit ridiculous. None of the illnesses you listed have been proven to be 100% preventable, not even autism. Of course we would like to assume this but placing blame on all sorts of things isn't going to change the fact that said mental disorders are a problem.
 
Does anyone have some advice for me on how/what I can say to my Uncle to make him realize that they do not need to divorce because of this situation??????
 
Gosh man, that is a really hard one. I don't want to sound too defeatist but unfortunately I don't think there's much you can say or do in that department. It's so sad that not only have they lost their little girl but also that they're losing each other too. But everyone deals with death in their own way, and there's no way that we as outsiders can know what goes on in the privacy of two people's relationship. Obviously I'm not sure what they're exact reasons are for them breaking up but it might just be too damn painful to even be together anymore, too much of a reminder of what's happened. And if they've already made up their minds there's not a lot you can do.

If you wanted to give it a try though, you could say to your Uncle that he and your Aunty can help each other through this, and come out even stronger in their relationship than before, that they lost their daughter but they don't have to lose each other too, and that they need each other.

Good luck <3
 
The only explination I heard was when my uncle spent the night here with me and my dad.. Boys night we had 2 bottle of tequila and cigars and he was plastered, at 2am I heard him tell my dad..
That they dont want to have another baby that would be disabled.. They dont want to try because what if it happens again, they just couldnt handle that.
Maybe it was just a freak 1 in 100 chance she was born that way, or if any baby they would have would be like that for sure..
Its really upsetting, I just dont know what to ask him about it, or even if I should ask..
 
^^ That is so hard, and I must say I can kinda understand your uncle's (and aunty's) fear of having another disabled child. I'm sure most (or all) parents of disabled children would at least have that thought in the back of their mind when thinking of having another child...

My gut instinct says that you should speak to your uncle about this. Let him know your thoughts. YOU are experiencing the pain and grief of this situation as well, so you are entitled to talk about it. Just be prepared for any reaction from your uncle though, he might not want to talk about it, it might make him really upset and he might cry, he could even get angry (although he doesn't sound like that type of person). But just be wary.

Or perhaps if you're not comfortable talking directly to your uncle, talk to your dad instead. He would probably have a lot of insight in to the situations and how your uncle is coping etc.

Good luck <3
 
My uncle invited to come over this wed. to spend the night at his house. Just us two.
After a few drinks I hope I can bring it up and he will feel comfortable to share his thoughts with me.
My mom and dad are going thru their own divorce right now which is affecting me bad but their is nothing I can do about that. I could never really talk to my dad about his divorce, or my uncles, he WILL tell me its not my business, for sure. Me and my uncle have a strong bond, I know it, and I know he isnt afraid to tell me anything on his mind, and he has no problem telling me what to do and how to fix shit when I am fucking up in my life, like a Dad almost. He has provided with a very good job at his place every summer and he has offered to pay for my schooling if I wanted to go, support like nobody else has been able to provide for me.
I just know he wants to open up to me but I think I will need to make the first move.

Thanks for your opinion and support, it gives me hope that all will be well. :)
 
I ended up staying until this morning with my uncle, and it was awesome.
I thought I would be going to his home and see my aunt too, but once I was dropped off at his office he told me he lives somewhere else now. In the car on the way to the store he told me all about that they are getting a divorce and how he has been in this new house for a month already. He lives up in the woods with one other guy, A really nice pad with a 64 yr old retired Lawyer friend who now owns a Italian restaurant.
We had chicken, salmon, salads, pasta and all the booze you can think of. He went all out to make sure I had a good time. During the day while he was at work I did some work around their house and was generously paid :) more drugs yay!
When we all were drunk, late at night, we talked all about woman and life. They both schooled me on how to own the pussy and how to do a marriage the right way.
The roommate, Skipper was married 4 times and he shared his knowledge with me and my uncle. Dont get married til your 30 and dont buy the cow when you can get the milk for free etc..

I was very surprised at how much my uncle shared with me. He was texting this stripper in Houston all night, and telling me how he has been to her club for many years and how now she says she 'loves' him. He showed me a picture of her and everything. I knew he cheated on my aunt, but geeze he is a PLAYER, for sure.

Thursday night we went to his 'home' to see my aunt, and they had a meeting with their Lawyer about the Shelby case. We moved some furniture out of Shelbys old room and loaded my aunts car with it. She is going to sell all of her stuff on eBay and give away whatever else. She is looking for a new home to live with the dog.. Their divorce is going to happen and I realized I cant do a thing about it. I know I am not going to see my aunt again, once its finalized she will move on quick.
The Lawyer showed up, they met for about an hour while I was outside and in the end I could tell how upset they were just discussing about Shelby with the Lawyer.
That night he told me and Skipper a little about it. Basically they are suing her for money and to get answers about what happened exactly that night. The sitter at first REFUSED to talk about what happened, and that led to them filling a lawsuit. Skipper, gave some knowledge to my uncle about how to handle the trial, To just go for the money from the get go, because He said the sitter's lawyer will just have her plead guilt to everything and that will lessen a punishment. But if they strictly go for money than they should settle, my uncle threw out the $ amount they are suing her for and I was happy, 1.5 Million.

Friday night my dad drove up to have dinner with us, spend the night and drive me home today. at 4:30 Friday, my uncle took us to a Asian Massage parlor and he treated us to 90 minute massages which was awesome, he had a happy ending lol
My dad came at 7 and we started dinner, 10 o clock and dinner is finally ready and Skipper is home. Beer, 6 bottles of wine and Tequila was our poison and it worked out good. My uncle, my dad and I talked all about my Mom and Dads divorce and I think that really helped my dad since he has been so sad about it all.

This weekend couldn't have been any better, and I am so happy I have an uncle who can do this for me. He must have spent 700 bucks on food, drinks and our massages, just making this weekend special and he didn't say a word about it, we hugged a few times and even said I love you a few times, It was the best time I have ever had with him. He invited me back next week and I might just go :)

I didnt get too many answers about Shelby and his feelings, but I can tell but what little he said that he has made peace with it, and is not mourning anymore..

This morning, before we left his pad he told us his plans for the day. He was leaving when we left to go to the Graveyard. Its about 50 miles away and it is where the whole family is buried, In his hometown, where he grew up, and where their family name is well known. He said it will be the first time he is going to see shelbys

Thank you all, BL has tons of wise people and Im happy I got so many responses.
n3ophy7e, your info helped so much, and thank you for caring about my messed up life hahah :)

Again, Thank you all.
 
deadhead thanks so much for the update. It sounds like you had a great weekend and it was exactly what you needed! I'm so glad it turned out well :) <3
 
Glad to see you're feeling happy :]

I just read what happened now and wow, I am so sorry for your loss brother. I can't really relate much but I wish you the best.

Peace & Love
 
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