So ever since I stopped doing dope and my g/f and i broke up like 6 months ago we have been seeing each other less and less which is good because we arent dating anymore and need to stop being so dependent on each other in an effort to become individuals again. Thats cool I dont mind it for the most part other then I dont have any friends.
The issue is i literally have projects i can work on till i die so i flip flop constantly on this issue. I will work endlessly on a new project get it right think im amazing for it then realize i have no one to share in the success with and get upset when I realize i cant message unresponsive people anymore. I dont mind the whole being alone part all of my hobbies are solo endeavors anyway and 9/10 id rather just work and accomplish what i consider meaningful stuff.
In the end its what ive always wanted and what i always said i needed, a large degree of isolation to focus on my self and my future as a scientist. Its literally what i said i wanted for years and yet here i am torn on how to lose this feeling that i care about being social. I know i cant because humans are social animals but at the same time i always figured the internet would provide me with the means to remove the feeling that i need some kind of true companionship.
I dont want females, chasing them seems like a large waste of time, im not great at developing friendships really so yeah im a great and amazing person but i never bother to be like "lets be friends" most interactions are viewed as one time things in my mind. I never allowed friends to transcend boundries so i dont have friends from college as id never dream of holding on to them, just like the ones from work and high school.
The issue is i literally have projects i can work on till i die so i flip flop constantly on this issue. I will work endlessly on a new project get it right think im amazing for it then realize i have no one to share in the success with and get upset when I realize i cant message unresponsive people anymore. I dont mind the whole being alone part all of my hobbies are solo endeavors anyway and 9/10 id rather just work and accomplish what i consider meaningful stuff.
In the end its what ive always wanted and what i always said i needed, a large degree of isolation to focus on my self and my future as a scientist. Its literally what i said i wanted for years and yet here i am torn on how to lose this feeling that i care about being social. I know i cant because humans are social animals but at the same time i always figured the internet would provide me with the means to remove the feeling that i need some kind of true companionship.
I dont want females, chasing them seems like a large waste of time, im not great at developing friendships really so yeah im a great and amazing person but i never bother to be like "lets be friends" most interactions are viewed as one time things in my mind. I never allowed friends to transcend boundries so i dont have friends from college as id never dream of holding on to them, just like the ones from work and high school.