Topsy Turvy

Wow. Just did 2 lines. I haven't felt coke like this in a while. It's resting in the back of my throat, worst tast ever! I have a feeling this will be a bad trip. I somewhat hope it is. I shouldn't have been so weak & used. I keep thinking about how just today I was told "don't use, its that easy." It's not that easy for me. I feel like shit, so I use: it's that easy. Fuck, I'm tripping out right now. I feel like throwing up. I've already drank 3 water bottles & have probably sweat the same amount. Feelings like this make me hate drugs, but sometimes this feeling is millions of times better than other feelings. But I don't even know why I used tonight.. I think it was because of the simple fact that I knew I had coke in my bag. If I have it, why wouldn't I use? I can't get this taste out of my mouth. Damn. & I didn't even use with anyone! Fuck. Snorting lines alone in my room, now that is depressing.