liljulz
Bluelighter
(excerpt from my ramblings--it might not make sense and im probably the only one who will benefit from seeing this posted...but on the off chance someone relates, im posting it.)
She exudes an incredible amount of confidence and hse has every reason to. But she feels unloved like me. She sees the overabundance of fake love like i see it. She knows no one REALLY cares, everyone alwasy has exceptions to caring. Exceptions, limitations, conditions, prerequisites. Theres barely any true caring and she knows it. She still looks for it. Seeking love in guys that dont really care. It boosts her confidence knowing they 'love' her -- and in some cases they actually might think they do. Until the exceptions, the limitations, the conditions and prerequisites come up. then they both know, and she feels cheated. She drowns her insecurities in these guys, it doesnt work. Its like a drug after it loses its magic. You go back to it over and over thinking itll work this time, next time. But afterwards, you only feel like you let yourself down. You knew it wouldnt help, you do it anyway and you will keep doing it until you find that one dose that has suddenly regained the magic, that one guy that does actually care. I dont blame her. I feel myself falling into the same path. She is just a step ahead. She teaches me as she goes along and I listen. Though neither of us will really realize this until the damage is done.
She exudes an incredible amount of confidence and hse has every reason to. But she feels unloved like me. She sees the overabundance of fake love like i see it. She knows no one REALLY cares, everyone alwasy has exceptions to caring. Exceptions, limitations, conditions, prerequisites. Theres barely any true caring and she knows it. She still looks for it. Seeking love in guys that dont really care. It boosts her confidence knowing they 'love' her -- and in some cases they actually might think they do. Until the exceptions, the limitations, the conditions and prerequisites come up. then they both know, and she feels cheated. She drowns her insecurities in these guys, it doesnt work. Its like a drug after it loses its magic. You go back to it over and over thinking itll work this time, next time. But afterwards, you only feel like you let yourself down. You knew it wouldnt help, you do it anyway and you will keep doing it until you find that one dose that has suddenly regained the magic, that one guy that does actually care. I dont blame her. I feel myself falling into the same path. She is just a step ahead. She teaches me as she goes along and I listen. Though neither of us will really realize this until the damage is done.
