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Too anyone who is having these symptoms

surfer179 said:
i go to the gym everday , im really into muscle building so thats fine for me as it takes my mind off of it, but i said to myself today that i would give up an extra month of this shit for ONE day.... just one day were i was completely normal, i feel like im forgetting what normal feels like, its getting better but it just takes so damn long and no one has a clue the problems im going through , the mood swings i have are a joke, i could be so happy one hour then the next im depressed off my ass about it ....
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I had mood swings early on but got rid of them.. The biggest help was therapy! I recommend it. By being mindful of the thoughts that make us happy or sad throughout the day, the don't bother us as much. My mood still changes throughout the day... But that's just life. Don't attribute everything to the comedown.

I'm at month 4 just dealing with head pressure and brain fog. The symptoms have abated a lot and I feel the greatest when getting adequate sleep (8 hrs) and daily exercise. When I slip up and stay up late drinking alcohol and eating junk, it all comes back and I feel bad. Not much different than when we were normal huh.
 
Harry my symptoms/comedown time is parallel with you, (I am also on month 4) do you think you will make a recovery soon? I think I will be fine in 2 months and by the looks of your posts I think you will be too.
 
Ugh. Sleep would be soooo nice. I wish I can get 8 hours in
 
kind of weird last few days as i have had other stuff on mind, (exciting things) and today i noticed that the less i notice my vision and just get on with anything the more it fades away , like today has been a really good day for my vision , i hardly noticed it because it was so good, i have realised today that the less i pay attention to it the more it seems to fade, i was talking to someone today and then as i was talking i thought " what the FUCK his face and everything looks normal" it still isnt right but for a brief moment it went back right, so i know that this isnt permanent.

I read also that the main thing we are doing is making this apart of our lives, every day we wake up and we wonder " how will i feel today ?" see thats the problem. I read in a anxiety book of someone who had it for 10 years and he got told this by a specialist who said...

"paul your start getting better when you stop trying too"

i think that is one of the best things i have heard recently for what I and many others are going through , once we let these symptoms go and get on with life they seem to just fade until there gone. I have realised something today and i think this is a very positive step forward for me.
 
Thats really good Surfer, just a few days ago I remember you were feeling pretty down if I recall correctly. I also notice that some days are just better than other days!!

It's really up and down.
 
kind of weird last few days as i have had other stuff on mind, (exciting things) and today i noticed that the less i notice my vision and just get on with anything the more it fades away , like today has been a really good day for my vision , i hardly noticed it because it was so good, i have realised today that the less i pay attention to it the more it seems to fade, i was talking to someone today and then as i was talking i thought " what the FUCK his face and everything looks normal" it still isnt right but for a brief moment it went back right, so i know that this isnt permanent.

I read also that the main thing we are doing is making this apart of our lives, every day we wake up and we wonder " how will i feel today ?" see thats the problem. I read in a anxiety book of someone who had it for 10 years and he got told this by a specialist who said...

"paul your start getting better when you stop trying too"

i think that is one of the best things i have heard recently for what I and many others are going through , once we let these symptoms go and get on with life they seem to just fade until there gone. I have realised something today and i think this is a very positive step forward for me.
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Thats great news Surfer.

I have attempted once again to start a collection of Anxiety Books the one from Paul David you mention is also included plus a load of others. I hope this link works this time:

http://www.4shared.com/folder/QQ4yf_GL/Anxiety_Books.html

If you are suffering from long term comedowns a lot of what you are experiencing is Anxiety Fueled. By reading these books and learning about Anxiety as opposed to drug related issues a lot of your problems can addressed.

Good luck..

Please let me know if this link is working okay.
 
to be honest i wernt really down , i just was annoyed when i looked back at how perfect i had everything to go to this . If any one with a long term comedown looks back on how they use to feel before this there gonna feel down and disappointed with themselves but i have learnt alot over the last couple days , i think this is a very positive forward step for me
 
futura i completely agree with you , alot of these problems we have now are not drug related, the drugs started them off but now were entering a different topic for our problems which for most people is anxiety, as you have linked up the anxiety topics, if you use those tips they are most likely the ways to get rid of the problems were going through.

thanks for the links by the way ;)
 
I sort of feel like my issues are getting worse slightly. At least in the morning. its soo hard to wake up. my sleep i feel is just getting worse. what are you guys doing for sleep?
 
Hello pmz,

I've had sleep problems for like two weeks. And it was bad, I slept like 3hours a night I guess maybe less. My doctor advised me to wake up EVERYDAY at 6:30(NO nappin during the day). He told me that goin to bed is less important and just go when you feel your tired, make sure your not watchin tv after dinner etc...

And now four months after this insomnia, I sleep 8 hours STRAIGHT, no wakin up etc.. My dreams are fine to.

GL pmz you will get your sleep eventually, don't worry. And I know what your goin through, insomnia drives you crazy but hang on.

Greetz.
 
Vikingdancer said:
Hello pmz,

I've had sleep problems for like two weeks. And it was bad, I slept like 3hours a night I guess maybe less. My doctor advised me to wake up EVERYDAY at 6:30(NO nappin during the day). He told me that goin to bed is less important and just go when you feel your tired, make sure your not watchin tv after dinner etc...

And now four months after this insomnia, I sleep 8 hours STRAIGHT, no wakin up etc.. My dreams are fine to.

GL pmz you will get your sleep eventually, don't worry. And I know what your goin through, insomnia drives you crazy but hang on.

Greetz.
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thanks. I hope ur right and that I didnt totally destroy my serotonin system.
 
Useful Book Update!!

Okay I have added more titles with as much relevant stuff as I can find online about the topics of Anxiety, Depression and Depersonalization.

Titles are as follows:

100 Questions Answered about Depression
Anxiety & Depression Workout for Dummies
Anxiety & Panic Free - Paul David
Change Your Brain Change Your Life
End This Depression Now!
Feeling Unreal Depersonalization Disorder & Loss of the Self
Living Well with Anxiety What Your Doctor Doesnt Tell You
Metacognotive Therapy for Anxiety and Depression
Overcoming Anxiety for Dummies

I have also got some Videos about Depersonalization I will have a go at uploading those too and post a link.

I am not sure how long this folder will remain active so probably suggest download all the books and read them in your own time.

So far I have read the Anxiety Book from paul David that is Excellent also the Dummies books look pretty good but I havent had time to go through them yet.

Hope this library helps some people out.

I will keep udates coming:

http://www.4shared.com/folder/QQ4yf_GL/Anxiety_Books.html
 
I am glad to see there are others that have gone through/are going through the same thing as me

I was first introduced into mdma in November, doing maybe 50mg. Loved it but wasn't going to make it a habit

Then, I tried it again in early January, dropped 100mg, then another 100mg 30 mins later. I absolutely loved it, best night of my life. Then went on a bit of a binge. Did it 3 out of the next 4 weekends, dropping 100mg then another 100mg later on in the night (sometimes spaced within 30 mins, sometimes within 4 hours, now realizing this was quite dumb). After the last time I got brutal headaches, went to a doctor and he told me to take some advil. These headaches went away within a couple weeks.

I swore to never do m again, but about a month and a half later I was with my friends I thought I would do it one last time (at least for a while). Did my same routine with the same pills but surprisingly did not have much of the magic that night and was quite anxious. (It was the same stuff as before, and everyone else I was with felt fine after doing the same stuff)

I didn't think I was abusing it whatsoever(compared to the habits of my friends who I dropped with), but this is not the case after reading more about mdma. I know this is not near as bad as a lot of the stories I have read about, but I still suffer from the same symptoms.

Now 2.5 months later, Ive struggled each day with terrible tension headaches (which are the worst part as is the occasional brain fog) along with anxiety/depression/derealization etc. along with a bit of blurry vision plus other symptoms that come and go. It got a bit better after a month when I got my blood tested (came back fine)and started to realize it was mostly in my head. I've been to so many doctors that I've given up hope that there is a 'cure'. I have some better days, and some terrible days but eating healthy/ exercising has helped. I'm not near 100%, but much better say the a few weeks ago, hoping to one day be close to 100%.

Everyone who I've talked to thinks that it's not from the m and that I'm crazy, as most of the guys I've dropped with do it way more than myself (multiple nights in a row, every weekend for months or in large doses such as 1400mg in a night along with coke) and are fine (to the best of my knowledge). I'm really glad to see that there are others in the same sorts of situations.

Anyways, I hope I continue to improve and get back near to 100%

I've been able to maintain my phenomenal job, but definitely just getting by and not a star employee like before, pretty much on auto-pilot waiting for the day to end to relax my mind. Sometimes I think it's 100% anxiety but I don't think that's totally the problem as some days I feel as I have no anxiety to speak of and just feel quite 'slow' (like today).

Any help is greatly appreciated guys, and wish the best for anyone else going through something like this.
 
Hello roadrunner welcome to bluelight sorry to hear you are having longterm MDMA problems. The story you describe about doctors is pretty much the same story for us all. They unlikely have much experience with MDMA problems and other than describing antidepressants and benzos (neither advised) then otherwise very little use.

Where you can assist yourself with medicines is via suppliments. Not sure if you are taking anything but Omega 3 or some type of fish oil is advised Krill Oil is another favourite of mine. Consider a multivitamin ensuring vitC and D. Also consider a brain nutrition tablet like Neurozan (UK) or Focus Factor (USA). If you dont go for one of these consider at least 5HTP or L tryptophan.

For diet traul the anxiety websites and look for high tryptophan diet and a general healthy diet. Exercise in this situation is vital and also specific effort to socialize, read, exercise your mind despite how you might be feeling anxiety / DPDR wise. By all means check out some of those anxiety books posted above.

Unlike what your friends say I guarantee your symptoms are from the MD just traul this thread you will see the symptoms you have are pretty much bang on to everyone else. It just seems some of us are more susceptable than others. View it in a positive light at least you have learnt about the negatives of abuse early and hopefully wont make that mistake again. Unfortunately for some caning 1400mG in a night with a load of coke might not feel the negatives now but MDMA has this really nasty habit of everything is fine one minute then bam some time in the future it catches up on you. I never got any problems until the age of about 36 then was totally fucked by it along with a piperazine coctail. Best not compare to others right now just focus on getting better but trust me your not crazy, mentally retarded or anything like that youve just been stung by the dark side of MDMA.

I have some better days, and some terrible days but eating healthy/ exercising has helped. I'm not near 100%, but much better say the a few weeks ago, hoping to one day be close to 100%.
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Positives like this are really good. This is a very good sign. Six months is often a milestone for people perhaps you will be lucky enough to fall into this category.

Also good you are able to work and can still maintain a near enough real life.

Hope this helps in some way. Feel free to ask anything else I hope a few other members might make some suggestions for you also.
 
Roadrunner - been thought it before. Stay positive and do your best to keep the anxiety in check. If you keep busy you will be better before you know it.
 
mrdave2 said:
I'm in between month 3 and 4 of recovery and I have made a significant improvement because I have remained very sober with occasional drinking once in a while. I also exercise and eat right. I know I will recover, but I love weed. When will I be able to smoke again? When I am sober I only feel very minor effects of the comedown/anxiety, like barely noticable. I am thinking by month 5 or 6 I will be able to smoke? What do you guys think?
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mrdave, if you don't mind me asking, what triggered your comedown exactly?
 
Been a long time since I've been around these forums; seems like. Good thread to jump in

I had a Summer of fun with molly & lsd 4 years ago, otherwise all my (trouble-free) MDMA experience was a decade ago in my teens. I rolled responsibly back then (once a month at most) with maybe 1 excessive week. Don't recall ever having long-lasting negative FX.

11 years in the game, I'm still a (fairly) responsible adult - though one who has developed symptoms of manic depression and pychosis (for which I am marginally medicated), and alcohol/cannabis dependence, among other untreated behavioural disorders. I have battle depression since age 13, but wonder if prior MDMA usage played a role in converting into bipolarity.

Anyway, I just started a new job & have been trying to kick the usual habits & stay focused, which is a struggle.
As I am trying to clean up my act, Along comes some chance MDMA, and instantly I am hooked .. MDMA ties with Oxy as my favorite, irresistable drug of choic.e

In 8 days (3 sessions) I consumed various unknown pills & 2 caps of legit molly. My brain has felt like a trainwreck. I had to sleep away the post-crash days, have no energy or motivation during the week .. I stare out the window unable to concentrate on anything other than the next roll or quitting my job.
For the first time, I am truly frightened about brain damage. Things were already going poorly, but it is quite obvious to me that I've caused a bit of damage; my speech is effected as is my intelligence. My plans to continue my career or pursue further education are derailed like my thought process. I am hopin the random brain aches is seritonin being manufactured and not my brain screaming in protest.

Of course, the addict in me is more concerned with how long I can make myself wait before the next session, and what will happen when I run out & have no source to re-up :\
The E at least is getting me off of the usual steady diet of alcohol & cannabis; I've had a clean & sober week, which never happens. But that just leaves the E in my medicine cabinet whispering my name...

Take it EZ, rollers. I've finally learned the hard way that MDMA is not in the every-day casual aisle, but the every-once-in-a-while pile.
 
ggarza921 said:
mrdave, if you don't mind me asking, what triggered your comedown exactly?
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Hey ggarza,
Well heres the story. I did my share of molly before this one last terrible time on the 18th of january 2013. it was about 3 to 4 weeks after my last roll and I was at a party and i did .16gs of this very pure mdma/molly. It was terrible and I assume I had a panic attack. I just sat in the corner scared and people kept coming over and being like are you ok? Anyway I drank and smoked weed the next night and felt fine; same with the night after. The next day after this party weekend I drank a cup of coffee and boom I had a terrible panic attack! from that point on I had those terrible symptoms everyone has. I am almost at month 5 and I feel SOSOSO much better. I'd say in a month to a month in a half I will be recovered. but the first 3 months were terrible.
 
last 2 weeks my vision has improved immensely , still not right but much improved , as i said anxiety is what is causing all this, i wanted to try something out so what i did was put on one of my favourite songs on the tv full blast and rave basically lol, for about half hour , just dancing and having fun , i then checked my vision in the kitchen with the bright lights,

it was perfect , hardly any differences from normal atall.

i heard that the vision problem can be from minimal anxiety which i have. Even the slightest bit makes my vision mess up.

Over the last 2 weeks thought my vision has improved immensely, gonna keep on going , think i could be at the end of the road at this point but im not gonna count my chickens just yet....
 
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