soulfly
Bluelight Crew
I didn't write this, but I was going through all my old writings and it just seemed fitting. This is what I received when the love of my life and I broke up so many years ago. Again, I'm nursing a broken heart, so I'm hoping this might be fitting for someone else reading this forum. If nothing else, if you're sad and lost someone you loved and live with the regrets, this should show you that you're not alone.
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Tonight's the night...an open letter to my soulmate
Heart 02-02-2003 01:08 Report Post
Tonight's the night we said goodbye.
Clinging to each other, sobbing in our misery, I choked out the words, "I'm so proud of you," because I am. You've grown into such a magnificent person that I can hardly contain myself with joy, and I hope you see that same man I see when you look in the mirror. YOU were there all along, but you've just begun to open your eyes and recognize the amazing qualities you posess, and you are now walking in that direction I encouraged you to go. Your talent and passion in music and in writing is a blessing. You have such intellect and wit that I always knew you'd see it in yourself. Fuck all those people who told you otherwise. NO ONE MATTERS in this life enough to have such power over you.
You've finally done it, my friend. You've picked yourself up from your darkest hour and started walking on the path of your choice. I feel responsible for our distance because of the choices I have made to follow my dreams, but it's only temporary, right? You've said so yourself, and don't give me any of this Richard Nixon, Osama Bin Laden bullshit. You know what's what in this life, and I know you enough to look deep into your eyes when you are speaking to me from the deepest depths of your soul, and I know you wouldn't lie to me.
We are heading in two different directions, my love. You were right. Hopefully we are both arching back to the same location in time. I'm not your life support anymore. I'm your SUPPORT, and I always will be, along with many other friends you have that love you and adore you (almost as much as me,) but you are your LIFE. I know I am to blame for hauling you away. You wanted to try and have a better life out here, I know, but we both know that love isn't going to pay our rent for another month or put food on our table. So, here we are at this crossroad. You've made the decision to step up and take some control--Hooray! It makes me so proud of you, and crushes my very soul at the same time. How are we going to do this, babe? Do you truly believe we have that kind of love that can make it through? I can't imagine it any other way than growing old with you.
I heard the snap you were talking about, but I didn't know what it would feel like until right now. It's all sinking in, and I know the hole you've warned me about because I'm standing firmly on the edge. I see it now. Everything you've been describing. The world without you is so dark and menacing. The spring-like weather is so cold and unfriendly without you holding my hand.
But, you were right again. I'm finding comfort in your music. I think I can make it through this year we've promised each other. I wish I'd never come here. I'd still have you, and that's all I'm ever going to want in this world.
I wish you hadn't ripped 'it' up that night. The little something you had written just for me. Your words that took 48 minutes to write that I begged you to write, and that you read aloud to yourself in our empty apartment. Those words you threw in the trash when I came home angry and slammed the door. Those words I never knew existed until ten minutes ago. I would have burned them into my soul, and would probably find comfort in your words right about now. God, I hope this pain starts to dull....
We'll find each other again. In this life, or the next, and I'll have to find comfort in that for now. You are my angel, and I love you. I just want everyone to know, and I knew you'd see this eventually.
***************************************************************************************
Tonight's the night...an open letter to my soulmate
Heart 02-02-2003 01:08 Report Post
Tonight's the night we said goodbye.
Clinging to each other, sobbing in our misery, I choked out the words, "I'm so proud of you," because I am. You've grown into such a magnificent person that I can hardly contain myself with joy, and I hope you see that same man I see when you look in the mirror. YOU were there all along, but you've just begun to open your eyes and recognize the amazing qualities you posess, and you are now walking in that direction I encouraged you to go. Your talent and passion in music and in writing is a blessing. You have such intellect and wit that I always knew you'd see it in yourself. Fuck all those people who told you otherwise. NO ONE MATTERS in this life enough to have such power over you.
You've finally done it, my friend. You've picked yourself up from your darkest hour and started walking on the path of your choice. I feel responsible for our distance because of the choices I have made to follow my dreams, but it's only temporary, right? You've said so yourself, and don't give me any of this Richard Nixon, Osama Bin Laden bullshit. You know what's what in this life, and I know you enough to look deep into your eyes when you are speaking to me from the deepest depths of your soul, and I know you wouldn't lie to me.
We are heading in two different directions, my love. You were right. Hopefully we are both arching back to the same location in time. I'm not your life support anymore. I'm your SUPPORT, and I always will be, along with many other friends you have that love you and adore you (almost as much as me,) but you are your LIFE. I know I am to blame for hauling you away. You wanted to try and have a better life out here, I know, but we both know that love isn't going to pay our rent for another month or put food on our table. So, here we are at this crossroad. You've made the decision to step up and take some control--Hooray! It makes me so proud of you, and crushes my very soul at the same time. How are we going to do this, babe? Do you truly believe we have that kind of love that can make it through? I can't imagine it any other way than growing old with you.
I heard the snap you were talking about, but I didn't know what it would feel like until right now. It's all sinking in, and I know the hole you've warned me about because I'm standing firmly on the edge. I see it now. Everything you've been describing. The world without you is so dark and menacing. The spring-like weather is so cold and unfriendly without you holding my hand.
But, you were right again. I'm finding comfort in your music. I think I can make it through this year we've promised each other. I wish I'd never come here. I'd still have you, and that's all I'm ever going to want in this world.
I wish you hadn't ripped 'it' up that night. The little something you had written just for me. Your words that took 48 minutes to write that I begged you to write, and that you read aloud to yourself in our empty apartment. Those words you threw in the trash when I came home angry and slammed the door. Those words I never knew existed until ten minutes ago. I would have burned them into my soul, and would probably find comfort in your words right about now. God, I hope this pain starts to dull....
We'll find each other again. In this life, or the next, and I'll have to find comfort in that for now. You are my angel, and I love you. I just want everyone to know, and I knew you'd see this eventually.
