Tonight I Seem To Match

[empty_remains]

I'm torn inside and on the out
To look at me you'll see
The criss cross map of my pains
Fading fast but still there
Some still dripping bread crumb trails

I'm trying to hold fast to what I know
To forget all that those in the past told me

Please someone just hold me
Am I too far gone to even save myself?

I ripped apart the outside
To match the inside
But it doesn't help me to hide

It's gives me away like a million lies
And I can't hide what's in my eyes

Look closer, you'll see
The past has made a complete mess of me

11/8/09
​

 

[swilow]

Introspective and gloomy- ie. I like it.

"Please someone just hold me
am I too far gone to even save myself?"-

could be one line to convey more confusion, or desperation. I think if you altered some of the stanza breaks, it would loose coherency, whch would be very effective for art like ths.

Very good, I'll have to read more stuff by you Thanks for sharing...