Tonight I Cracked

I broke my sobriety. I know its only been a couple weeks, but those were the hardest weeks for me. A friend came over (he used to be my dealer) & of course he had shit on him. I just did so much shit, i can't even funtion right now. Its takin me like 10 min to write this. Fuck. I hate that I broke being sober, but at the same time I feel like I needed this & I feel so much better.... :/
 
Going from using regularly to dead sober is really hard, and some slip-ups are to be expected. Don't be too hard on yourself, and try again once you feel ready to.

Something that helps is having an activity or two that has nothing to do with your DOC. Plus, the more sober (or just occasional users rather than heavy users or dealers), the easier you'll find it is to stay sober for longer. Out off sight out off mind and all that.
 
All you can do is learn from it and move on...
I'd have reservations about friends who are dealers. Is he a friend or a buisness 'friend'; making something off you other than your time and company? Just really picky myself about who has my best interests at heart and who I let into my life, just something to ponder on...<3
 
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