• The Dark Side 💕 Welcome Guest 💕
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules
    Notable Threads Urgent Hotlines
    Bereavement Mindfulness
    Suicide Support Anger Management
  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

Tomorrow I go into detox!

X

xburtonchic

Bluelighter
Joined
May 17, 2011
Messages
1,009
I finally secured a bed (hopefully - they told me to call at 10 am tomorrow to make sure it's still available, since I was originally supposed to go today but couldn't get the finances together yet...) at this really great detox center on the beach. They have daily group and individual therapy, medication based off of your symptoms, around the clock psychiatrists and doctors, and on-site NA/AA meetings. They also help you transition when you're done, so if possible, I'm going to try to get myself into a good rehab while I'm there. The only problem is that I can't afford to pay anything, so it will need to be a state-funded one, which means I might have waiting lists to deal with.

But I am FINALLY getting clean... I feel hopeful for the first time in I don't even know how long. No more H, no more Suboxone, no more pills, no more spending money I don't have so I can get my fix, no more associating with shady people and places, no more risking my life every few hours by sticking a needle in my arm. I know the detox is going to suck but I am so determined to stick it out... I'm turning my life over to them for the next few days... obviously I can't handle the responsibility on my own lol. I'm just sooo freaking HAPPY! Sobriety is just around the corner... going on four years later and I'm finally at the tail end of my addiction. I'm not worried about relapse, I haven't used to get high in a long time now - just to stay well. I'm gonna be okay... SOBER... I wish I could explain how happy that makes me but there are no words. I wish I could just throw all my dope and paraphernilia away and go RIGHT now but I have to wait... lol I'm seriously counting down the hours until I can get admitted... <3

EDIT: I got so excited while writing this that I got carried away and completely forgot why I was posting this here lol. I have a question - what should I expect from the detox center? What should I bring with me? I've never been to a detox center before, just rehab, so I don't really know... the guy on the phone didn't give me much information other than "no purses or bulky items"
 
Hun this is great to hear, I am so pleased for you. I wish you all the very best with it and I look forward to hearing from you when you get back. Unfortunately I can't comment on the differences between rehab and detox because I don't have any personal experience with that, but I'm sure others can help out.

Much love, and take care <3
 
Thank you very much n30 :) I can't wait to come back and post about my experience either... I know I will have to white knuckle it through the next few days but I'm too excited to care!! Although I'm sure I'll be singing a different tune in 48 hours or so... heh. I absolutely REFUSE, refuse, refuse to discharge myself though. If I have to, I will ask them to make me sign a waiver saying they can't release me until my treatment is over... I'm determined. I want to go back to school and work... God I can't wait to be sober. I've forgotten what it feels like after three years to be perfectly honest, even on Suboxone I was always worrying about how I would get off when the time came. I am SO sensitive to w/d it's not even funny, which is why I struggle with the addiction as much as I do.

I'm just going to take comfort in the fact that I can't possibly do a more comfortable detox anywhere else, so when it gets hard, I'm going to remind myself of that, think of how much worse off I would be trying to kick by myself, and then just grit my teeth and suck it up. I HAVE to do this for myself... it's not an option for me to use anymore.

Can I just ay one more time... I AM SO EXCITED :D
 
I have been to a 30 day rehab program which included a 5 day detox under close supervision. How many days are you going for?

I am so happy for you to finally be able to free yourself. <3<3<3
 
It is so great to hear you so excited. I look forward to hearing how it went and how you are feeling when you get out. I am really happy for you.<3
 
I'm happy and proud of you <3 I read that one blog you did and I'm glad you aren't going to give up anymore. You will make it through this.
 
This will not be an easy journey for you, but it looks to be the right one for you to be on right now. May strength, patience and determination carry you through, and see you to a new, clean life afterwards. :)
 
Best luck for you! It's great to see how you go whatever road is necessary to quit heroin! WD symptoms will still be a bitch, but I'm sure the staff will do everything that is possible to relieve your symptoms. I found it very helpful that there are other people dealing with the samen issues, so you can cheer each other up, and that you have appointments the whole day which keeps you from self-loathing and thinking about wd too much. However, don't let you drag down by the patients who are in detox for the 5th, 10th, 20th time. For me meeting those people was really disillusioning, but always keep in mind that there are so many of them because those who kick the habit don't return ;).

I wish you the very best, tons of power, endurance, strength and a clear mind!
 
I am so pleased for you xburtonchic and I hope it is everything that you want it to be. I can tell by the way you wrote your posts that this is what you really want & that you have the desire & willpower to succeed.
I wish you all the best and hope all goes well for you and that you can step out into a whole new world.
 
stardust.hero said:
Thanks for the update CH <3 What great news.
Click to expand...

No problem! I really wanted to update the community because I value my friends getting clean and it makes me proud of them.

It took a lot for me to want to stop using heroin in the first place. It's not easy when you are addicted/dependent, and then change your mind and want to get clean. It seems like things are impossible, but they are not.

Much luck to you too - motherofearth.
 
It is possible. The first few days of quitting may seem like an eternity - but the perception of time is infinite.

Time will pass, you will feel better with time, and reaffirming this in your mind goes a long way. :)

I am always here if you all want to talk about it. I remember my first attempts in quitting heroin use, it was hellish for me but I made it. <3
 
Great to hear she's doing well! Remind her of TDS always being on her side :). It's definitely possible with a lot of patience, perseverance and most of all honesty!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top