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Today I've Decided....

C

CARESS

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 6, 2000
Messages
890
Location
Wildwood, NJ US
I heard it said once that no one can hurt your feelings or self esteem unless you allow them.
I have decided today that you will not step on my feelings again. Access denied.
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Mother told me once that after you have sex you can't go back to holding hands.
I choose not to share my body and soul with you again. They are much too precious to be wasted. Besides, a line of females is forming outside your window and I don't like lines.
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I believe a person CAN choose who they fall in love with if they are in tune enough to their feelings and the consequences.
Today I decided not to love you anymore. You don't understand it, deserve it, or return it.
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I've heard it said that personal change starts with a personal decision. I can't fix what's wrong with you and you can't fix me. We can only fix ourselves.
I decided today that you are a grown man. If you know what's wrong and don't fix it yourself, I certainly can't help you. Whisk! Crutch removed.
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I know that you can't make another person love you. This is not a complicated truth to learn.
Today I decided that your love in return is not that important to me. I have many other things in my life that fulfill me and don't drain my energy.
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I have learned that I and I alone am responsible for my emotions.
I have decided that I will not dwell on New Years, the feel of me in your arms, the lighthouse, or the sound of your voice. Above all else, I have decided that I will never shed another tear for you.
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So parade your little hook-ups in my face and look at me puzzled not knowing why I'm crying.
I've decided that it doesn't matter.....
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Hey Bluelight! Jeez, can't I write about cheerful sunshine and puppies? HaHa. Hope you like it. And before you ask, yes it's real..he's real. But hey, I am SOOOO okay, so no pity posts. Just enjoy the words.
Just words - no more, no less.
Caress
[This message has been edited by CARESS (edited 08 May 2000).]
 
wow... wish I could be ok as that... kudos girl. maybe one day I'll be strong enough to follow suit. cross your fingers.
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-=*It's a very thin line to walk between phuckered up and not phuckered up!!*=-
AIM:RinoaAngel76
Yahoo! Messenger: AcidAngel76
 
Thanks, my two angels! Remember that we as humans are usually stronger than we think we are. Don't let anyone or any situation beat you down.
Thank you again, I'm glad you enjoyed it.
smile.gif

Big Hugs,
Caress
 
caress,
I think what you wrote was awesome and you really looked into yourself. thanks for sharing with us, I really enjoyed it
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Just takes one angel to change a life
~~~~CHERUB~~~~
 
that was too too right.
goddamnit.
i'm in san francisco right now and when i get back to manila, i'm going to break up with my boyfriend (don't worry it has nothing to do with what you wrote).
we're not made to be with each other, let alone be away from each other. absence does not make the heart grow fonder.
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he who is not busy being born is busy dying.
[This message has been edited by Dtergent (edited 11 May 2000).]
 
Cherub, I'm glad you liked it. Your feedback made my day.
dtergent, sweetie, you do what you need to do to make yourself happy. Making healthy decisions, even the painful ones, is still the best way to go. Take care and good luck.
Luv,
Caress
 
oooh caress how do u do it
how do u learn to switch off
how do u stop the pain
how do u keep going without him
im trying so hard to learn these things but it aint working
he keeps callin and comming over and it hurts
good luck babe stay strong im ganna print this and put it on my fridge and read it everyday i want to be strong but omg its sooo hard
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i thought it was you i needed nevertheless i have learnt thru the pain i needed me
 
Cya,
It is very hard, but keep in mind that every success begins with a conscious decision to succeed. If you stay as strong as you possibly can day after day, you will begin to make progress. Baby steps, ya know? Don't beat yourself up for any little "slip-ups". Just start fresh again the next day.
Big Hugs, darlin',
Caress
 
more power to ya chica! its so rare that u read empowering stuff like u wrote- its the usual pity for ones self but thats so awesome that u took ur feelings into ur hands and instead of whining about whats wrong ur doin summin about it. I wish more people could feel this way! I totally hear where ur coming from and I'VE DECIDED that no longer will I feel the frustration!
yeah!
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if theres ever something i want to be its outside a party so i can get in..........(Andy Warhol)
 
Caress, how I wish I could be half as strong as you are. However the knowledge that I can have friends that are as strong is you is just as uplifting. Keep on counting, in two weeks there will be no waiting
smile.gif

Love,
Gareth
 
Wow! I never dreamed I would get these awesome responses. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!
chicaV, I'm glad you've decided to leave the frustration behind. Life is frustrating enough without complications we have control over getting in the way. Best of luck to you.
Gareth, you are one of the strongest people I know. Maybe you just don't feel it right now. I can't wait to spend time with you.
Angel, I am so happy that you like it. I will be glad to read it to you in person, soon. Then you can read some of your awesome work to me, too.
smile.gif

Thank you all again!
smile.gif

Caress
 
its nice to dredge up old posts sometimes...
this was always one of my favorites.
its kind of a... light at the end of the tunnel...
thanks.
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E-girl
IM: tiggersgurl2067
"...there are 2 paths, you can go back, but in the long run... there's still time to change the road you're on..."
 
I can tell if it is good if I get a little chill down my spine when I read something, It was awhile but somewhere in the end part the chill came baby w;nks)
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sex is the key to the soul~
 
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