• The Dark Side 💕 Welcome Guest 💕
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules
    Notable Threads Urgent Hotlines
    Bereavement Mindfulness
    Suicide Support Anger Management
  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

Sad Today is 8 months since I lost my daughter

S

SilverLotus

Greenlighter
Joined
Nov 16, 2020
Messages
7
My daughter passed away on July 30, 2025. She was 18 years 11 months and 23 days old. She was delivered early due to complications and Dr's didn't expect her to live thru her first surgery (at 12 hours old). But she did. She lost almost all her small intestine (she was left with only 40 cm) due to her intestines becoming necrotic while I was pregnant with her. She was the happiest little girl, even in spite of all the medical adversities she had faced. Eventually, the Dr's had informed us that she needed a liver transplant, and she was placed on a donor waiting list (she wasn't a candidate for a living donor transplant). Unfortunately, she never received a donor liver match transplant.

I would've GLADLY given her my whole liver, but unfortunately I wasn't a match (her body would have began rejecting my liver immediately).

And every day has been a nightmare since losing her. She was my only daughter, and I miss her soooo much.

😭😭😭💔💔💔
 
Im terribly sorry for your loss. I k ow there's nothing I can say that will make things better. But you had an angel with you for a measure of time. I understand you wanting to donate a liver to your child. My mom had cancer and needed a kidney. I would have given anything to give it to her. But we couldn't and that is not our fault.

I care for you deeply and please try to stay as you were- a loving, hopeful person.

If you need anything at all please just ask.

:heart5::heart5::heart5::heart5:
 
I’m so sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine how terrible it must be to loose a child at age 18.

❤️❤️❤️
 
bvc said:
Im terribly sorry for your loss. I k ow there's nothing I can say that will make things better. But you had an angel with you for a measure of time. I understand you wanting to donate a liver to your child. My mom had cancer and needed a kidney. I would have given anything to give it to her. But we couldn't and that is not our fault.

I care for you deeply and please try to stay as you were- a loving, hopeful person.

If you need anything at all please just ask.

:heart5::heart5::heart5::heart5:
Click to expand...
Thank you for your kind words, it truly means a lot to me.
 
SilverLotus said:
My daughter passed away on July 30, 2025. She was 18 years 11 months and 23 days old. She was delivered early due to complications and Dr's didn't expect her to live thru her first surgery (at 12 hours old). But she did. She lost almost all her small intestine (she was left with only 40 cm) due to her intestines becoming necrotic while I was pregnant with her. She was the happiest little girl, even in spite of all the medical adversities she had faced. Eventually, the Dr's had informed us that she needed a liver transplant, and she was placed on a donor waiting list (she wasn't a candidate for a living donor transplant). Unfortunately, she never received a donor liver match transplant.

I would've GLADLY given her my whole liver, but unfortunately I wasn't a match (her body would have began rejecting my liver immediately).

And every day has been a nightmare since losing her. She was my only daughter, and I miss her soooo much.

😭😭😭💔💔💔
Click to expand...

I'm so sorry for your loss. We lost our first child at birth and that was bad enough. I don't think I could have coped with watching her grow up only to lose her in her prime of life.


<3
 
Last edited:
Hope you're giving yourself love and care,grief can enable us more easily to hurt ourselves with drugs,alcohol,food,Please love yourself and be the sweet soul I know you are with time.I'm here if you want to talk to another female that is terribly too familiar with loss of children and family.
 
ageingpartyfiend said:
You'll never get over it, it's a hard hard truth.

I promise you though, you'll learn to live with it, to live around it, and there are some better days ahead
Click to expand...

I know that there's gonna be good days & then there's gonna be days that feel just as bad as that first day (or worse).

I remember getting so much advice when I was pregnant on what to do/ not to do....

And even when my daughter was born severely ill, the Dr's and nurses were there to help teach me how to work her medical equipment and administer all her medications...

But when she passed away, there wasn't really anyone that could give me any advice on how to handle losing a child... (I've lost grandparents, and uncle's and a step-mom... and, yes, all those losses HURT... but nowhere near as severely as when I lost my daughter)...💔
 
However short your sweet daughter's life was I am sure that you helped her be and have the best life that she could possibly have. I don't know how you can ever get through

this or possibly can. Just know she was loved through it all and completely. And that she had those wonderful years together with you. I am crying tears. You are so sweet..

Thank you for loving your baby.

💜💕🪻
 
Robi said:
Hope you're giving yourself love and care,grief can enable us more easily to hurt ourselves with drugs,alcohol,food,Please love yourself and be the sweet soul I know you are with time.I'm here if you want to talk to another female that is terribly too familiar with loss of children and family.
Click to expand...
Thank you.

My brother in law gave me a puppy (Boo) shortly before my daughter was diagnosed with end stage liver failure.

And (according to my brother in law), I have completely spoiled the puppy. To the point where he will cry if I attempt to feed him kibbles to eat; instead I have to cook his food for him (he prefers chicken breast, but he'll also eat ground turkey, and green beans and corn, steamed rice, carrots, yogurt, and scrambled eggs)... which is a good thing I guess, cuz it's a good reminder for me to eat too.

I'll make sure that I don't over do it when I'm smoking (especially if I'm already feeling sad). It's easy to not think about something that important when your not thinking clearly. Thank you❤️
 
SilverLotus said:
Thank you.

My brother in law gave me a puppy (Boo) shortly before my daughter was diagnosed with end stage liver failure.

And (according to my brother in law), I have completely spoiled the puppy. To the point where he will cry if I attempt to feed him kibbles to eat; instead I have to cook his food for him (he prefers chicken breast, but he'll also eat ground turkey, and green beans and corn, steamed rice, carrots, yogurt, and scrambled eggs)... which is a good thing I guess, cuz it's a good reminder for me to eat too.

I'll make sure that I don't over do it when I'm smoking (especially if I'm already feeling sad). It's easy to not think about something that important when your not thinking clearly. Thank you❤️
Click to expand...
My dogs have gotten me through the last 16 yrs,old and sick now they are and I'm going through anticipatory grief,I too cook for them and dress them,Im not quite right,in fact Im the crazy dog lady.
 
I took a psychology class on Death and Dying in college for my nursing degree. Our professor told us “It’s what that particular event meant to that particular person in that particular moment in that particular person’s life.” I’ve always liked that.
 
SilverLotus said:
My daughter passed away on July 30, 2025. She was 18 years 11 months and 23 days old. She was delivered early due to complications and Dr's didn't expect her to live thru her first surgery (at 12 hours old). But she did. She lost almost all her small intestine (she was left with only 40 cm) due to her intestines becoming necrotic while I was pregnant with her. She was the happiest little girl, even in spite of all the medical adversities she had faced. Eventually, the Dr's had informed us that she needed a liver transplant, and she was placed on a donor waiting list (she wasn't a candidate for a living donor transplant). Unfortunately, she never received a donor liver match transplant.

I would've GLADLY given her my whole liver, but unfortunately I wasn't a match (her body would have began rejecting my liver immediately).

And every day has been a nightmare since losing her. She was my only daughter, and I miss her soooo much.

😭😭😭💔💔💔
Click to expand...
That's so heartbreaking, I have a son who has just turned 18 and couldn't bear the thought of losing him
I feel so sad for you it's bringing a tear to my eye ❤️
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top