• H&R Moderators: streaM Freak

Today I'm going to...

annachronism

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 20, 2014
Messages
65
So with a mere couple days off a myriad of prescription painkillers and mass amounts of kratom (whichever was readily available) I'm discovering that simple tasks that keep my mind off the constant to dose or not to dose dialogue in my head( I could all to easily score right away) and help me pass the time. My energy levels are low though so I'm trying to keep it simple. Today I'm going to walk over to the market and get some basic groceries mainly bananas because I feel like I could keep those down. I'm gonna try and cook a simple meal for my four year old when the babysitter drops him off (poor baby has been living off cereal toast and canned food). I'm gonna try to do a load of laundry and the dishes in the sink and pick up the dirty clothes strewn around the house. Around 8 I'm gonna get the boy in bed and zone out in front of the tv till my boyfriend gets home from class at which time il try to engage him in conversation over a cup of tea. Hopefully at some point I'll feel exhausted enough to get some sleep.


I guess the point of this post is to enquire about some other coping mechanisms in the early early stages of sobriety. Honestly I think I haven't even emerged completely from acute withdrawals. I just don't feel like thinking about it anymore.

Post what your going to today
 
I'm too new at this to have much advice but wanted to share some support and positive thinking! It can be done if we want it bad enough!!
 
Welcome to Bluelight, anachronism! :)


Hmmm... What Am I going to do today, to stay sober?

I personally choose to work a 12 step program, though I know this isn't for everyone - so if you have any questions about AA or NA and what it's all about, feel free to PM me.

Besides what I have learned to do that is directly related to the 12 steps, there are other methods I have found useful, such as keeping a journal and writing about tough days/events or writing poetry as an outlet for messed up thoughts I'm having. Exercise, specifically over the last couple months of my sobriety, has been a god send - as well as eating healthy.

Besides staying healthy, most important is a support group. It's awesome that you have your boyfriend, don't get me wrong - but do you have anyone else you talk to about things, as well? There may be times when you don't feel comfortable talking about something specific with him, or it may even get to the point where you put so much on him emotionally that it isn't fair (be aware of that). Point being it is smart, in my experience, to have at least a few different people you can talk to and most importantly people you can talk to who have been where you have been, other addicts. Talking to a normal person is great but it can not ever come close to talking with somebody who has felt the way you have felt and done exactly what you have done.

Keep it up anachronism, glad to hear you're doing well so far. Stay positive and don't be afraid to keep us updated! :)
 
I love that you mentioned journaling has always been a helpful activity for those wee hours when I run out of people to talk to
 
Case face to answer your question I don't doubt that n.a meetings are in order at some point. I'm just sort of dreading it all as I have social anxiety esp when recently clean. I'm afraid to not make sense or sound stupid which of course they'll then tell me is my so and part of my disease then if I sit and listen it starts to sound repetitive. Yup another addict that is too smart to hear what the other addicts have to say. Sigh...until I get over that I'm using the tools I've always had in my dispensary namely alot of writing, reading self help/spiritual books, vitamins, tea, masturbation lol and oh yeah music. How good is Leonard Cohen for that phase when up your on sensory overload and you can just maybe weep the toxins out of your body
 
Reading can help loads, anything to keep your mind off using. Also don't underestimate the power of exercise. That might be the last thing you feel like doing right now but getting those juices flowing and sweating a bit can be exhilarating. You're doing great, just keep going! :)
 
Ahh I'm still way too achey to start exercising. I finally am able to hold down some basic solids..mmm bananas. Weirdly though after just suffering behind a desk all day doing nothing at work I felt a strange burst of energy fed my kid a real meal gave him a bath and some cuddles and cleaned my whole kitchen...weird
 
take it slow,anna.
i just did something out of the ordinary to deal with depression yesterday
and it was very intense but i just want to say that if you 'hang in there"(I know),
it will change.

exercise,yeah,probably too early.
try maybe and get the basics down first.
like eating,feeding u'r kid,sleeping,drink water,see a doctor….


but don't give up cuz i've been where you are right now and it hurts so bad
but incredible;y things change for the better with more clean time,support etc.

I'm 40 and take suboxone in case u wondered.

will check back.
 
Ahh I'm still way too achey to start exercising. I finally am able to hold down some basic solids..mmm bananas. Weirdly though after just suffering behind a desk all day doing nothing at work I felt a strange burst of energy fed my kid a real meal gave him a bath and some cuddles and cleaned my whole kitchen...weird

Keep going!

I'm at day 74 and I'm currently exercising again.

Even around day 30 to 50, I was still not ready.

But I was coming off buprenorphine; long half life/high protein binding. You're coming off other opiates; so I'm hoping you'll get to where I am a bit quiciker. <3
 
^^ That's good to know about increasing adrenals while in acutes/making things worse, thanks NSA I hadn't heard that before.
 
I'm going to dance in my car on the way home from work in rush hour, play music, probably change a few diapers, and make a point to lay down to sleep to try to catch up on what I missed the past two nights..:)

First starting out, I needed meetings. It's great to be independent, but having that social group and safety net for when you may fly off the deep end is extremely helpful.

I'm also going to remember to pause and just breathe when I start to get too flustered today.
 
re annachronism,
Leonard Cohen is perfect in those situations.agreed.
his album death of a ladies man has helped me a lot.
also even I'm your man with all the 80s synths have really beautiful songs.

Brian Wilson said "music is Gods voice".
 
Top