Today I fought for the first time in 15 years...

[anonymousjoe]

I turned 30 yesterday, my birthday sucked... but thats not the point of the topic.

I currently reside with my mom and her ex-husband, who are together for financial reasons.

B, my mom's ex takes a whole slew of medicines perscribed to him (daily 32mg hyrdromorphone, 90mg morphine sulfate, 6mg xanax and 3 soma). He is 68 years old, and the medicines make him crazier than he normally is. My whole family hates B because he has caused numerous issues and has had my mom locked up on domestic violence charges on no less than 2 occasions.

Today, my sister came over and sat with my mom in her car on the public street talking about life issues when B came out and started running his mouth to my sister, at one point telling her that she let her daughter be raped by her husband. When my mom told me this it infuriated me and I got dressed and walked into the living room where B was running my mouth (which I have a tendancy to do when upset). B is very afraid of me because of my size (6'3", 275lbs) and grabbed the stand which holds the tools for the fireplace and held it like it was a baseball bat. I told him to go ahead and hit me, which the dumb fucker actually did. I hadn't threatened him with any sort of violence, as fighting is always the last choice for me. He hit me with all his might in the ribs approximately 1 inch below my man-boob directly on the left side of my body.

I grabbed ahold of him and beat the living hell out of him, only stopping when his face was completely covered in blood.

Should I feel bad beating the shit out of an old man who was in a drug fueled craze, or am I justified for defending myself?

By the way... I posted this in the dark side because:
a) my side is dark because my ribs are fucking bruised bad and...
b) him being fucked up on all kinds of drugs caused this (dilaudad makes him mean)

 

[boodha]

im assuming, nothing worse came from this, ie, the man is not currently in intensive care, or suffering from any long term damage.

and while im sure many will disagree with me, imho

violence is never really justified, or necessary and there is always two sides to the story, having said that, it sounds like this guy can be a not so nice person, violence begets violence, and why I dont condone what you did, it may make the old man wake up a little bit and take more responsibility for his behavior, he wanted to hit you, because he did, regardless of you egging him on, if someone told me to hit them, I would have to then think about what got me to that point, he didnt......but he may now.

of course this is just your side of this story, but I wouldn't beat yourself up to bad about it, but definitely hang your head a bit in the fact that you did resort to violence, and that is a level I personally wouldn't want to be dragged down to.

you are 30 years old now, and i think that is a time when men truly become men and we need to be judged by our behavior and actions.

happy b'day! and I thought I had a shitty 30th!!! :D

 

[anonymousjoe]

I personally hate violence. The fight I got into 15 yrs ago was against my best friend who slapped my sister. I didn't make it 15 yrs without a fight because I like violence, I have always been able to keep a cool head and and can almost end any confrontation by using words, but the remarks that he made about my sister and my niece (said VERY horrible things about a 9 year old girl who was possibly molested) made me lose it. I had no intention on hitting him, it was really the last thing that I wanted to do. I also never thought in a million years he was gonna swing it at me... but its like I was taught growing up around guns... don't point a gun at anything you don't intend to kill.

He didn't have to go to the hospital, I actually did to have my ribs xrayed because there is 2 puncture wounds and a huge black/blue spot on it and I was worried about having my rib puncture my lung.

What really pisses me off is that he called the police on ME after begging me not to call them on him and told the police he only struck me because I was attacking him (anyone that knows me will tell you i'm a gentle giant and wouldn't hurt a fly). The police know him as a lunatic and told me they didn't believe him and gave me the option to press charges, but if he goes to jail, my dilaudad supply is gone.

I look at is as I defended myself, even though he's the one that came out of it getting the ass beating.

We shook hands after the fight (something that real men can do)... but I did tell him if he ever picks up another weapon with the intention of hitting me with it, he should expect me to take it away from him and beat him to death with it.

 

[Wizzle]

Well, it wasn't the smart thing to do, but considering how hard he hit you the old bastard probably deserved it.

 

[jackie jones]

Your actions were partially justified by defending yourself, but you likely did not have to beat the piss out of him (that probably just felt good, right?).

Although if what you said about his personality is true, he probably deserved a beating just on general principals.

 

[Jabberwocky]

Should I feel bad beating the shit out of an old man who was in a drug fueled craze, or am I justified for defending myself?

Justified or unjustified this particular episode is in the past now. I have a lot of shit I feel bad about, framing it in one way or another hasn't been good or bad for me and the affirmations or condemnations of others really don't matter in my experience. The lasting question is how can you handle like situations better in the future.

Did you kind of know shit like this was coming up? Next time, if a next time happens, will you be able to stop sooner or even avoid giving someone a beatdown? Have you acknowledged both the parts of yourself with regret and the parts of yourself that enjoyed it and wanted to go further?

Almost everyone has intense protective feelings about their mom & family. Its no sign of your being any sort of badly out of control or sadistic person to have gone over the line in this case. So I say learn what can be learned and be ready for the next chapter in a more tactical way. Hopefully there won't be anymore fucked up incidents but you are wiser and more ready now. Hope everything is more smooth for you from here on out.

 

[chompy]

Don't feel bad, he was so doped up he probably couldn't feel it anyway. Anyway its been done so time to move on and hope you beat some sense into him.

 

[hydrochron]

Yeah you should feel bad, you beat up a crazy old man. No fence but your younger and should know better. I'm sure you could of worked it out some other way. Anyways don't beat your self up about it. It alreaddy happened so try to move on.

 

[cj]

^^^
dude hit him with a fucking metal object with intent to harm. I commend you for not killing the bastard.

 

[Tunnelfission]

Yeah i'd never take on someone 6'3'' and 275 anyways, I respect bears right? well i'd back off if a bear grabbed a pole of any sort ready to swing it at me. kind of like a "if you fuck with me your not getting away without retaliation" look in your eyes.

I think it sucks when people let drugs and excuses get the better of them.

he knew what was going to happen for attempting to intimidate you if he didn't then he is out of his head. both seem possible.

 

[OverDone]

self-defense is fine but be aware of the laws in your state. Excessive Use Of Force can get you a jail sentence. Also, considering this guy's age and health issues, you could have very well caused serious harm that hasn't shown itself yet.

Its over now and the police weren't involved but still be prepared for some sort of consequence.

Old head sounds nuts. You can't predict future actions. Is he going to hold his perceived wrong inside until it reveals itself in the form of rage? Is he the type that will make some sort of retribution in a cowardly way (ie do something to you when you are sleeping? Fuck with your food? Make false claims to the police?

Be on-point for a bit. Dude sounds like he is capable of doing something shady.