Advice To tell or not to tell partner

[Opana313]

Yeah I am guilty of this as well.. it's hard because you do not want to lie. But I also feel hiding drug use is wayyyy different neighborhood than cheating. I mean definitely a trust thing at hand..I've been trying to handle my shit on my own..secrets in the dark do weigh heavy though..I feel for you

 

[Opana313]

And good point about stigmatizing your past isn't too cool. This happens to me. Guess that's why my relationship is where it is, because I was tired of the pointless fighting and ended up fucking my taper plan ultimately leading to fuck it all and blowing money going into debt which made shit even worse so really my faults too are the most part

 

[Northerngyal]

Well cats out of the bag. The past few months I've noticed when life stresses him out he would nit pick at everything I do, basically taking it out on me. I put up with it because I had a picture in my head of him being perfect because he was there when my mom passed.
He disappeared on Friday and had his phone off and had a bs excuse saying his daughter had a basketball tournament. I Googled and there was no tournament. As usual he tried to gaslight me turning everything back to my fault.
So I got mad and told him I was banging dope the whole relationship. At this point I don't care.
It's amazing how someone can act so perfectly until they get you hooked then their real personality shows through.
To be honest I'm relieved I ended it. Not knowing what his mood would be any given day was making my anxiety bad.

Damn. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. Walking on eggshells is an awful feeling and doing it for a while over a long period of time is hard on your mental health. Sending you lots of healing vibes and you will get through this.

 

[smokeymcpot42088]

Ill add my 02 cents as I have been on both sides of this one....*Edit, sorry I showed up late, probably for the better.

Yes you want to be honest but you may wanna hold back on the IV usage as it almost begs the person to ask you for a clean bill of health..

If you do in fact have a clean bill of health; here is what I reccomend (its not exactly honesty)......I would tell the guy that you have been struggling with your addiction and just now you broke down and used IV. After doing that you realized things had gone too far and he needs to know because you need his help and support tapering and staying away from rigs.

Not too much of a lie, the core remains the same..... I know when I found out my gf was IV'ing other than with me (diabetic cat infinite needles) I was very concerned whether she was the kind of person that may "do someones rinse" or "oh I only shared it with xyz and they swore" (which would mean 0 to me other than she is a fool).....problem solved itself the fool got busted and refused to show me her police report. Tough way to end an 8 yr relationship but if she REFUSED to show me her paperwork I have to ASSUME there is a damn good reason for that and she knew whatever was in there would get her a ticket to the curb anyways.

 

[ghostandthedarkness]

Thank you @ageingpartyfiend . It's permanent. He had me thinking there's something wrong with me. For example I would ask what time he would be here for dinner and if he was having a bad day he would yell at me saying I was controlling. If I ever mentioned how I was feeling about something he said or did he would start bitching about smoking. I was never able to talk to him about anything he did or said or my feelings without being verbally attacked about something I said months ago. Always gaslight. Told I was negative if I was having a bad day.
The last couple months he turned into a different person or his true self came out. Either way I was walking on egg shells and I'd rather be alone then live like that.
Oddly I'm not really sad, more relieved

screw people that try to make you feel bad about yourself. the exact opposite should happen in a good relationship. you seem chill af to me so I'd say he's the problem. you'll get someone way better if that's what you're after.