So, still up but I haven’t been popping the modafinil. Or anything other than weed and kratom to try to help come down.
Even took trouble my Seroquel. No luck sleeping.
All that to say is I have to work today but I just feel the groggy be Seroquel does me without it giving me any rest. No way I can do it tonight. I get off at 11 tonight.
So I want to flush all the modafinil so I don’t abuse it again. I’m strong enough right now to but I think I should keep just enough like 1-2 pills (100mg each) to help
Me get thru the night of I need to.
Only way I can miss work and keep my job tonight is if I go to the hospital and I ain’t with that.
Ive been taking modafinil for well over a decade and that is one drug ive found that alone doesnt really have much of a downside.
That said, I have had to kill the kratom habit, which turned out to be the most soul sucking substance ive found to date...at least in extract form.
Are you actually getting a high from modafinil that makes you want to abuse it? Or are you compensating rather than enhancing?
One thing I will say, is you can get into this bad bootloop when mixing kratom and uppers, even it they are partials, where you use one to counteract the bad effects of the others or use more to counteract the mute of the other. IMO this is why fentameth users go crazy and start seeing demons. Theres a ratcheting effect in these types of substances where you take a little more of one and then again the other and rinse/repeat. Soon you end up in psychosis.
I would not do anything to make yourself tippy life wise, (ie stopping CT unless you HAVE to) just know that kratom dependance and potential for poisoning is a real thing that will leave you in the gutter. Its not harmless.
I have major depression, which if left untreated leaves me way in the gutter as well. Substances are just a longer trip to the same place, but they can buy time.
My regimen is (1) 200mg modafinil half at 7am half at noon, one theanine serene at dawn one at noon, and one 200mg 5-htp at dawn and again at noon. This works immediately but really takes full effect at 60 day mark. Its so good i kept it secret for a decade.
I have mandatory "suffer days" on the weekends to reset. No negotiation. I stop it at noon on friday.
I havent followed your progression down the path of modafinil, but if you are finding yourself using moda compulsively, try switching to armodafinil for a while, its much less pronounced in felt effects at onset. You shouodnt be able to feel moda, if you do you are taking too much or its being muted by the kratom.
In my deduction, i found kratom was the problem, and have removed it from the picture.