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To have sex or not to have sex?

  • Thread starter Thread starter idonthaveausername
  • Start date Start date
I

idonthaveausername

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I'll be 17 in a few months and i've been thinking about sex a lot recently. i'm a girl btw. i have a friend who wants to have sex with me. he's such a nice guy, probably the nicest guy i know. but he's extremely unattractive. i feel bad for saying that but he is extremely extremely extremely unattractive. but he is very expirienced in sex. even though i am a virgin i am very tempted to take his offer on sex, but i'm still not sure. i asked my friend what i should do and he said i should wait untill i find someone i love, but i dont plan on being in a real relationship untill i'm like 20 or something. and i dont want to be a noob at sex when i'm 20. and no one really cares to wait now anyway. i'm ready to have sex so i dont know whats stopping me. maybe its because he is so unattractive. we would have the help of liquid courage so maybe i'll be attracted to him that night. i just want my first time to be with someone that wont treat me like crap after we do it, and i know he wont because he is really a great guy.
should i go through with it?
 
Do what your heart/head tell you to do. I'm sure you know that most people's first time wasn't all puppies, kitties and rainbows. ;) I'm not going to tell you you should wait to have sex with a person unless you are absolutely in love with them. Sometimes having sex with a person doesn't mean that you have to be 100% attracted to them. If you know that he's not going to treat you poorly after you have sex with him, why not? My first time was with someone I wasn't 100% into, but I certainly don't regret it. After the awkwardness of the first time was gone, we had some really great sex afterward as friends. The bottom line is if you should probably lose your virginity with someone you really trust. It doesn't always happen, but it seems like you really trust this guy and your only hang up is his personal appearance. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, after all, so maybe his beauty to you is him being a nice guy. Are you close friends with this person?
 
Yes I would. In fact, that's pretty much what I did and never regretted it. I'm not a sentimental person and getting rid of my virginity was just that for me - a formality and a learning curve, plus I was curious and horny. Also, I wasn't keen on a relationship and didn't want to wait! It takes a few times until you figure out how it all works, a few more time until you orgasm, and it's very very useful to have an experienced and patient "mentor", doesn't matter if you don't fancy him because then you go and have good sex with people you do fancy. As long as he doesn't fall for you I'd say do it! x
 
Go for it. you will gain the experience you want and if your drunk you wont even care about what he looks like.
 
I lost my virginity to my first boyfriend when I was abouttt 16 and it was kind of like "you want to do it?" "meh ok let's," and when it happened it was such a letdown lol. In his defense, he was a virgin as well, but he really made no effort to make the experience nice for me in any way. he just came and it was over and even bickered with me that i needed to give him head after -_-

What you have here sounds like a really nice opportunity to be with someone really sweet who cares about you and your feelings. Since he's both experienced and a nice guy, this will probably be a good, positive experience.

And I'm glad to see you're not looking at sex as something that gets someone to love you, want you, commit to you, etc. A lot of young girls get well fucked in that department.
 
the first time sucks, sex won't get good for a little bit. and with every new partner it takes some time for it to be GREATTT. for the most part.

but i wouldn't have sex with someone you don't find attractive at all. you won't be able to get wet or into it and it'll more unpleasant then necessary. plus your friends and it'll be awkward after. not like i was with someone i love for the first time. i got with someone i barely knew, but i wanted too, so that's what mattered.
 
i see your point on the attraction factor marisa, but it doesn't seem like she think he's totally repulsive. maybe her friends/people who know him do, since she's open to the possibility of fucking him, and she thinks it would be fine is she was a little drunk.

and also the awkwardness should defff be considered, i've lost a quite a few friends when lines like that have been crossed.
 
I don't think if he's so unattractive how is he "very experienced" at sex? Does he get alot of practice? No, probably not..

How would you know if someone is extremely skilled in sex if your a virgin? You herd it from your friend? and how old is she??

Look, what you should do is fine someone your attracted to.. Definatly. Find someone who is confident. Maybe fine one who is a good dancer, I happen to believe good dancers are good at sex (not that non dancers arnt)

Make sure he eats you out for a long time before you have sex, this will help it feel alot better.

Hey, I got an idea.. You should just have me fly over there and I'll take your virginity for you.... :)



lol




No... But seriously.. ;)
 
keep an eye out for other options always. go for the normal nice guy not the awesome asshole. other than that, youll know when you want to have sex. my first time was kinda outa nowhere one night on the way home from the movies. awkward for both of us cause we were both new but we decided we were completely at ease in each others company and it was the best night of my life
 
Having sex with someone you're not attracted to just for the experience seems pretty silly to me. Most goes don't mind if you're sexually inexperienced. I'd wait. This could easily become something you regret down the road.
 
yes, for someone to have to sit there & mentally wrestle with the whole idea....

seems a bit superfluous is you ask me.
 
i think you should wait.

as much as it might sound prudish but there are lots of possible consequences which imo isnt worth it. that being said, sex and common sense usually dont go hand in hand, so you would be excused if you didnt think logically. some possible outcomes are:

- chances are if he cares about you and you sleep with him (possibly often) and he finds you attractive, then he might get attached.

- theres also the possibility that hes really nice to you because he wants to sleep with you, generally guys are douches when it comes to the possibility of sex.

if you do want to wait for someone you love to have sex, then you should have confidence in the fact that the person who you love enough to sleep with wont care if youre experienced or not.
 
idonthaveausername said:
he is extremely extremely extremely unattractive. but he is very experienced in sex.
Click to expand...

wat









Don't have sex for the sake of getting it over with. You might regret it later. Find someone you are attracted to AND will treat you with some respect. It will happen sooner rather than later, just keep a lookout. It's not a race.
 
I would wait, to be honest.. if you're having second thoughts about something already, then maybe wait until it feels right to you. I understand wanting to not be treated like crap after the act, but losing your virginity doesn't have to be about convenience, but it doesn't have to be about love either.

I think the fact that you're weighing up the benefits and disadvantages is a great thing. I think you'll know when the right time will be. If you think you'll regret doing it with this guy, then don't do it. I know not everyones first time is great, but doing it with someone you have a connection with, romantically, makes for a better experience and better memory of your first time. If it's with someone you like or love, you'll rule out the being treated like shit bit afterwards.

Ultimately, its your decision, but good luck with whichever path you choose to take xoxo
 
I would wait, but that's just me. Besides, like Magic Mushroom said, most people don't care if their partner is inexperienced in the sack. I know I don't. I haven't been with a shit ton of people but I have certainly been with a man who was very inexperienced and what I would consider "bad" in bed, but it didn't phase me. We dated for a while before this so I was comfortable enough to tell him what he should and shouldn't do, and he did the same for me as everyone has different things they like and dislike. Every person is different, so every time you sleep with someone new it's almost like you're learning it all over again; you learn how that person wants it.

So yeah, I would wait until you find someone you're attracted to both physically and emotionally, mostly because that will make the experience better. Yeah, sex can really suck the first time, but the above fact will make it suck less haha. It sounds like you're really comfortable with your friend and that's great, but I would skip him, especially if he has been with a lot of people. That's kind of gross at that age if you ask me.

Oh and, not to sound like a fucking parent or anything but make sure you stay safe. Good luck.
 
Oh and like barnstable84 said, if you're already having second thoughts, chances are you should wait a little longer. It's so much nicer when you're with someone you are attracted to and like, especially when it happens naturally.
 
I'd advise you to wait. My first time was with my ex-bf when i was 18, and he really cared about me... even though we're not together anymore i'll never regret him being my first. But if you really don't think it will bother you to have sex with just a friend, then by all means...
 
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