Actually I don’t think at all about whether or not a fetus is a life. I think about whether or not the fetus is still a parasite that cannot survive on its own and about whether a woman wants to host said parasite.
I think the whole “when does life begin” question is irrelevant to the discussion. I believe the human and medical rights of the host supersede those of the fetus regardless of whether it is alive, can feel pain, or has a face or whatever.
As far as men go, the father should have some input (unless he’s like 16 and then he should shut up), but ultimately it’s the female’s decision. Until men can have the baby themselves, and assume all the risk, their role is that of genetic provider and to support the mother. Although that rarely happens in the case of unwanted pregnancy.