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Titrating off benzo's after 9 years

  • Thread starter Thread starter kpins1230
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kpins1230

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Ok, I am needing some advice. Right now, I am not in any bad situation currently but am preparing for the inevitable or so I feel like is the inevitable. I was diagnosed with depression & anxiety around age 14. I feel this was a terrible diagnoses because my Father had just passed away from cancer and my mother (being a nurse) thought I should be medicated to help with the grieving process. At the age of 16 I was prescribed huge dose of remron & 3MG's daily of xanex/ klonopin and put me on the wrong path. In college I would often find someone selling their script of benzo's and take 5+mg's a day (small guy, 130lbs) and did that until I dropped out of college at 21. Titrated myself down and off of remron, hated depression meds and continued to take 3mg's a day of kpins since they last tad longer.

Fast forward 9 years after first being prescribed, I have short term memory issues & often can't recall conversations I had the day prior with people, would make terrible money decisions and overall carelessness. My fear is that obviously I am addicted to these suckers, but everything I've read is horrible about coming down. I am titrating down myself, discussed it with doc (doesn't want me to stop the kpins actually) but after 2 months of being on 1 or so MG a day, I am feeling shaky, all the time anxious, messing with my social life, and a horrible metallic taste in my mouth. I've had another discussion with another pysch doc and they suggested that I admit myself so the hospital (or w.e) would monitor me while detoxing. Am I withdrawing? I feel like I am, but never had to come down.... When I feel bad, can I smoke a bowl and take a vicodin take the edge off for a while? I do fine with opioids and don't have a dependency (also don't want to start one.

I cannot take a time out from life to deal with this withdraw / detox period. I am a sales rep in the military/defense industry & very dedicated to work, hence the anon part of this post. What should I do to deal with this withdrawel? I've relapsed a couple times and took 5mg's+ a couple times... but makes the titration that much harder after.

Obviously I can't let anyone know, or need to keep my appearance strong.
Anyone have any at home remedies to help? I smoke pot on regular, as much as I can get away with & do my job.
 
Ok, I am needing some advice. Right now, I am not in any bad situation currently but am preparing for the inevitable or so I feel like is the inevitable. I was diagnosed with depression & anxiety around age 14. I feel this was a terrible diagnoses because my Father had just passed away from cancer and my mother (being a nurse) thought I should be medicated to help with the grieving process. At the age of 16 I was prescribed huge dose of remron & 3MG's daily of xanex/ klonopin and put me on the wrong path. In college I would often find someone selling their script of benzo's and take 5+mg's a day (small guy, 130lbs) and did that until I dropped out of college at 21. Titrated myself down and off of remron, hated depression meds and continued to take 3mg's a day of kpins since they last tad longer.

Fast forward 9 years after first being prescribed, I have short term memory issues & often can't recall conversations I had the day prior with people, would make terrible money decisions and overall carelessness. My fear is that obviously I am addicted to these suckers, but everything I've read is horrible about coming down. I am titrating down myself, discussed it with doc (doesn't want me to stop the kpins actually) but after 2 months of being on 1 or so MG a day, I am feeling shaky, all the time anxious, messing with my social life, and a horrible metallic taste in my mouth. I've had another discussion with another pysch doc and they suggested that I admit myself so the hospital (or w.e) would monitor me while detoxing. Am I withdrawing? I feel like I am, but never had to come down.... When I feel bad, can I smoke a bowl and take a vicodin take the edge off for a while? I do fine with opioids and don't have a dependency (also don't want to start one.

I cannot take a time out from life to deal with this withdraw / detox period. I am a sales rep in the military/defense industry & very dedicated to work, hence the anon part of this post. What should I do to deal with this withdrawel? I've relapsed a couple times and took 5mg's+ a couple times... but makes the titration that much harder after.

Obviously I can't let anyone know, or need to keep my appearance strong.
Anyone have any at home remedies to help? I smoke pot on regular, as much as I can get away with & do my job.

Private message me for tips...I went 7 years with NO benzodiazepines and revisited them when my anxiety was exacerbating... I'm down to 2mg from 6mg and have experienced 0 WD symptoms..low and slow brother...

Going from 3mgs a day to 1mg is ballsy but it most likely won't be life threatening or seizure inducing...The main issue is that you've been on them for a decade...There's no reason to suffer from WD....
 
Look into the Ashton Manual, there is a link in the SL Directory sticky. Find yourself a doctor willing to taper you off your current dose using diazepam. It will be a slow process, but it won't be as bad as some make it out to seem. You didn't just start taking the stuff last year or the year before, it'll be a while before you're able to fully get back to "normal" (whatever that means).

A slow diazepam taper is probably the most effective course of action if you're interested to keep going without taking any time off work or the likes. Good luck!
 
I quite prefer our own BL benzodiazepine conversion chart: http://www.bluelight.ru/vb/threads/566261

Ha! I didn't know we had one!


Yeah, our is more geared for people who are specifically looking to tirtrate/taper off benzos. Much more accurate IMO than any calculator could be, given how the variables went it comes to benzodiazepine use do not lend themselves to simple, straightforward calculation (it all comes down to why you're using the benzo in the first place!).

I see that the old .ru link is currently broken, but hopefully will be back up soon. In the meantime, that equivalency chart on BL can be accessed here: http://webcache.googleusercontent.c...alf-Life-Dose-Chart+&cd=1&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=us
 
You need to taper extremely slowly. like set a goal to be off in 2 or 3 years. Even at that rate there is no way it wont effect your work and life. Your in for the slog of your life buddy. At this point I might just stay on them forever if its feesible.
 
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