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tired of waiting

caffeine_voices

Bluelight Crew
Joined
Sep 13, 2001
Messages
3,967
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there is a lot missing in my life
a lot of things i wish i had
the emptiness is tearing me apart
it gets harder every day
the longer that i wait
how much longer do i have to wait
tomorrow just may be too late
i can't predict the future
i can't control the past
and the present hurts worse every minute
i'm getting nowhere fast
i don't know how much longer this will last
this may sound impatient
but i feel i've waited too long
i've walked the edge
but it never ends
i can't wait my whole life
for it to come to me
but i can't go out and get it on my own
something always holds me back
so i remain motionless
suspended in space
i have friends
but there are holes they just cannot fill
if they walked in my shoes
they would know i'm standing still
i wear a mask on the outside
my happiness is a lie
i'm dying inside
i will still help you along
but i'm not very strong
time is slow in my heart
but time moves fast
all i think about is the past
why i didn't do this
why i didn't do that
the excuses i made
and what i should have said
it could have turned out better
and i wouldn't feel this way
but i can't help it
i hold this pain inside
i lose my motivation to try
the longer that i wait
the more i cannot take
and i've held this in too long
 
I really understand what you mean.
Sometimes I think that many people wait to live much time. Including myself. When I think about this, sometimes I regret wating much time for some moments in my life.
 
*sigh*
I know that feeling all too well, I could easily imagine myself writing something similar about 3 years ago...
What's changed now? A realisation that to get anything out of life I had to go for it myself, that the people around me, and the situation I was in, wasn't really making me happy, and wasn't really getting me what I wanted, it was time to change...
So that's what I did, and I went from feeling quite a few things missing, to not really missing much at all...
Unfortunately waiting for things to work out all to often doesn't get you anywhere... Unless you're this one friend of mine who always seems to have everything just presented to him on a plate... A nice big fuckoff shiny platinum jewel-encrusted plate... Lucky bastard, if he wasn't such a great guy I'd hate him lots ;)
:D
The one thing missing now is not something (someone) I really have time to chase after, so I'm still waiting for that (her), but my life is full enough without...
 
but there are holes they just cannot fill
if they walked in my shoes
they would know i'm standing still
i often feel that way too, like i'm clinging to my past so much that i cant embrace what might be a fantastic future. i feel like i'm just going nowhere because i'm afraid. you said "something always holds me back"... for me, i know what is holding me back, i'm just not strong enough to break my tie with it (him). it's all about having the will-power to move on and have a better life.
 
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