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Tired of being happy?

crazynate:]

crazynate:]

Bluelighter
Joined
Sep 18, 2009
Messages
562
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inside your head Nodding Carefully
I've been struggling with this lately. Ever since I can remember, I've just been that happy-go-lucky kid that goes through everyday with a smile on his face and never really showing any signs of anger or hatred while in public. I mean, ask any person, that knows me or just sees me around, to describe me and I guarantee they're gonna say either happy or sweet.
Lately, a part of me has been growing darker and growing tired of straining the muscles in my face to smile. I don't think I'm becoming depressed, cause that was earlier this year, but I just feel that I haven't been fair to myself by pushing away all negative emotions and covering them up with a smile for the past years of my life... Anyone relate to this? or am I just pitying myself
 
nope i do the same thing its a real bad habit we cover up our problems and try and deal with them ourselves when really all you need is a good heart to heart with some one close. I still put on the happy face every day because when people see me happy (even if im not) they get happy and no matter how im feeling seeing another person get happy just makes my day.
 
I would not sya I am tired of being happy because when happiness comes my way I am extremely grateful! But I do understand what it feels like to have your happy shell wear thin. I am always the one with positive, encouraging things to say and have recently run into a wall. It is like that film of negativity repellant has holes :)
I think it is okay though, to allow yourself to feel the darker side......
One of the lessons in life, that has been said in so many ways, that I truly am reminded of everyday is that there is no dawn without the night.....There are so many ways that has been said, and shown to us- like with seasons and cycles of life.
You appreciate more what is good when you experience the bad....
So, let yourself be dark for a bit if you need it- just be sure to remember who you are and not stay stuck in a place that may turn negative. (Not that dark is always bad.;))
 
^^^ Very true that. Im a pretty melancholic person by nature and im often not happy. But when i am happy i fucking enjoy it and i never let it go unnoticed. It could be over nothing at all but if im happy well fuckit im happy. Ive felt like the most depressed miserable cunt on earth sometimes so ive learned not to take happiness for granted.

Just don't let yourself fall into the darker side of things too much as that is not good. Though it does have it's upsides such as i do tend to get more women liking me once they realize that im apparently moody thus interesting ;) . Which in turn makes me happy =D
 
Yeah I hear that, all I ever do is pretend I'm happy, okay, whatever. I'm sick of that myself, although I'm not sure if it's exactly the same as what you're meaning.
 
Cheer up homey, if you don't have highs and lows your not living. Like everything this moment will pass...
 
Oh, god... when you start getting old you absolutely cherish every truly happy moment... the fact of the matter being that it takes a lot more to create these than it ever did it ones youth :\
 
if i asked 5 friends to describe me in 4 or 5 words, none would describe me as "happy."

"putting on a happy face" becomes a tedious burden and impossible to consistently maintain when "happy" is just a mask.

however, over the past few years i have worked very hard to see more positives than negatives in any given situation. finally i am noticing some difference and feel positive more days than i feel negative. i know how lucky i am to be alive and am grateful for all the blessings i have. if not for dark times full of rage and grief, i may never have realized the many blessings i have. who knows... maybe sustained happiness will be a future blessing.

anything is possible ;)
-izzy
 
I could be described as a happy kid but it was long time ago. Then I got into terrible depression which later came out to be fucking BPD. I don't call 'darker' side of me, I call it 'the more just' side. I stand by people who deserve it and I know how to harm leeches and other bad kind of people, that thing. Nothing ever came easily, I think people did a lot of bad to me.

As concerns masks, well, this sits well with my change from a shy and naive boy to a soft-spoken, easy-going but often furious, and a crafty man. The world is cruel and it wouldn't be like that without people. I do wear masks but I don't think I have time to consider this good or bad. Besides, living with BPD wasn't easy at the beginning and it's some kind of my drugless self-treatment so I don't go crazy when mania hits and I don't go under too much when depression times come.
 
crazynate:] said:
I've been struggling with this lately. Ever since I can remember, I've just been that happy-go-lucky kid that goes through everyday with a smile on his face and never really showing any signs of anger or hatred while in public. I mean, ask any person, that knows me or just sees me around, to describe me and I guarantee they're gonna say either happy or sweet.
Lately, a part of me has been growing darker and growing tired of straining the muscles in my face to smile. I don't think I'm becoming depressed, cause that was earlier this year, but I just feel that I haven't been fair to myself by pushing away all negative emotions and covering them up with a smile for the past years of my life... Anyone relate to this? or am I just pitying myself
Click to expand...

I may be mis-interpreting your post, but this was me for the first 18years of my life. I was the neutral/happy person in any group or situation i never let people bother me and i soaked up all the negativity from others and just let it brush off over me, never acting out on it.

Problem was, it began to build within me and i couldn't contain all this negativity i had put up with all my life and having never released any of it. Slowly but surely i would begin to say what i really thought to people, and the more i started remaining 'true' to myself the better i felt, and the more weight that was lifted off my shoulders, i wasn't been fake to myself anymore.

It's not possible to be happy 100% of the time, there are going to be times where your sad or angry.. its just how you go about expressing it that makes the difference. This is how people just 'snap' one day and no one can understand why all of a sudden this individual is a completley different person, they've let it bottle up for so long.

I try express myself through music, i find this is the best outlet for me to just 'let go'.

I think once you start approaching people or situations with how you truly feel at that time, you'll start to feel better about 'yourself', because your not covering anything up.. your been 'you'.
 
malakaix said:
I may be mis-interpreting your post, but this was me for the first 18years of my life. I was the neutral/happy person in any group or situation i never let people bother me and i soaked up all the negativity from others and just let it brush off over me, never acting out on it.

Problem was, it began to build within me and i couldn't contain all this negativity i had put up with all my life and having never released any of it. Slowly but surely i would begin to say what i really thought to people, and the more i started remaining 'true' to myself the better i felt, and the more weight that was lifted off my shoulders, i wasn't been fake to myself anymore.

It's not possible to be happy 100% of the time, there are going to be times where your sad or angry.. its just how you go about expressing it that makes the difference. This is how people just 'snap' one day and no one can understand why all of a sudden this individual is a completley different person, they've let it bottle up for so long.

I try express myself through music, i find this is the best outlet for me to just 'let go'.

I think once you start approaching people or situations with how you truly feel at that time, you'll start to feel better about 'yourself', because your not covering anything up.. your been 'you'.
Click to expand...

holy fuck I wish I lived in australia... DUDE you just described everything about me, no joke that's exactly how i am and how im changing (im 17).. I also jamm like all get out and unfortunately for the past 4 years I've been covering up the "weight", from brushing negativity off my shoulder, with drugs *(fixing that now tho;) and it totally feels a hellll of a lot better knowing that it's ok to speak up and say "hey that's bullshit man"
thanks man, that made me feel better ha
 
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