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Tips on surviving long-distance?

pazma

pazma

Bluelighter
Joined
Aug 14, 2014
Messages
66
Any BLers been in a long-distance relationship or had to deal with being away from their partner for an extended period of time?

I'm currently abroad in Australia this semester and my love is going away to Germany next semester. Last time I saw him was when I stayed with him and his family for a week in July, and he's going to be gone from February until mid July of next year. :(

I'll get to see him for two weeks in December-January (he's coming to stay with my family over Christmas and I'm going to be with his for New Years), but after that I won't get to see him until July, maybe even August unless I can find some way to get a flight out to Germany. They're not as expensive as flights to Australia (didn't expect him to shell out 2,000 when he doesn't even really have a job) and he told me he would help me pay for half of the ticket if I wanted to come.

Regardless, I'm going to miss him so much and I'm wondering if any BLers have been in an LDR and if you have any advice for surviving the distance. I'm very deeply in love with him, and I can't see my future without him in it, and we're both very committed to each other; it's just scary.
 
I have been in, and survived a LDR :)

SKYPE !

Said this in here on the same subject before - don't use it as a telephone call, don't just sit and go the the usual - how are you, what you been upto etc (gets boring very quickly). Start skype and get on with your business - study, read, watch TV, go to the loo, make your dinner etc. Just knowing that your 'with' them will really help.

I was on a long trip - missing my partner so we skyped, we were both shattered but watched the football match together.

Take photos of your day, you know the stuff - have you seen this, look at that - size of this burger etc, state of her hair, day to day stuff, do it when you see it, don't save it all up until one massive text.
 
Make the most of the time you have together, don't stress over little things. Make every moment when you are together a positive one and that is how you will view each other when you can't be together.

When you are away do things that help you seem closer together, watch TV shows together, talk on the phone a lot, skype over breakfast etc..
 
Yeah I have been in somewhat LDRs. Never like, different countries. We would see each other like once a month. Not terrible but not ideal.

A few tips:

- plan for your next visit. think about what you'd like to do together
- see if there is a way to see each other another time
- know when the END is, know that the long distance will end, and know that this isn't forever
- webcam. make sure you both have webcams and set up webcam dates. Skype!!
- email regularly. tell each other stories about your days
- send photos.
- send each other gifts randomly. I occasionally sent my boyfriend flowers and had them delivered to his house. he loved it
 
I was in a long distance relationship for 5 years, and now live with my girlfriend and have no doubt in my mind I will marry her within the next 2 years. It can be done! Great advice above, skype often, text often. The most important thing, and I can't stress this enough, is that you are both completely honest with each other. Make sure you both intend for this relationship to evolve into something more after the long distance. If you guys truly love each other, you WILL find a way to make it work. Good luck to you, it sounds like it's a short term thing, that's a good thing knowing there is an end date.
 
llama112 said:
Yeah I have been in somewhat LDRs. Never like, different countries. We would see each other like once a month. Not terrible but not ideal.

A few tips:

- plan for your next visit. think about what you'd like to do together
- see if there is a way to see each other another time
- know when the END is, know that the long distance will end, and know that this isn't forever
- webcam. make sure you both have webcams and set up webcam dates. Skype!!
- email regularly. tell each other stories about your days
- send photos.
- send each other gifts randomly. I occasionally sent my boyfriend flowers and had them delivered to his house. he loved it
Click to expand...

JohnJohnsonthe3rd said:
I was in a long distance relationship for 5 years, and now live with my girlfriend and have no doubt in my mind I will marry her within the next 2 years. It can be done! Great advice above, skype often, text often. The most important thing, and I can't stress this enough, is that you are both completely honest with each other. Make sure you both intend for this relationship to evolve into something more after the long distance. If you guys truly love each other, you WILL find a way to make it work. Good luck to you, it sounds like it's a short term thing, that's a good thing knowing there is an end date.
Click to expand...

I was in a LDR (different countries, unable to see each other for a few months at a time).

Just staying in touch is the key thing - don't wait until the end of the week to do a huge catch up call, txt/message/email/whatsapp etc as you go about your day. Send photos of anything that catches your attention, random bush, dog, etc.

As mentioned above - knowing the end date can really help as well as being honest with what you expect after the LDR has finished.
 
yeah skype. i texted almostnall day everyday. make the most.of the time you spend together and make sure your partner knows you love them very much. good luck because its straining.
 
Bear gave all the right tips already.

however, im generally not optimistinc on LDR. if its only for a few months then fine, skype and the like will keep it alive. if you plan on doing this indefinetly or for years on end... not too great ime...
 
Thanks for all the tips guys :) It's been about 2 months, going well so far, we text and Facebook a lot--during the hours we are able to talk (since they're limited due to a 14 hour time difference) we're pretty much always talking unless one of us is really busy. I'm feeling good about it, and I know I'm gonna be able to see him for two-ish weeks in about two and a half months, and that's one big thing that's really getting me through. For the record this IS only temporary, I'm studying abroad this semester, and then he leaves in February and is gone until mid-July to study abroad as well. Then we're back together at school like normal
 
kingme said:
Bear gave all the right tips already.

however, im generally not optimistinc on LDR. if its only for a few months then fine, skype and the like will keep it alive. if you plan on doing this indefinetly or for years on end... not too great ime...
Click to expand...

my ldr went about a year and change, we saw eachother every wknd, and now were living.together and just had.our three year anniversary. so there.is some hope
 
VERY hard to do, and VERY rare to succeed. Its just the trust and lack of intimacy that just kills it
 
I get what you're saying mew. However, I really, really trust my partner and he trusts me. We've been through a lot together, our relationship was very casual in the beginning but then I realized that I didn't want to be with anyone but him. As far as lack of intimacy goes, I've had a lot of sexual partners (before I met him and after, up until we decided to make things official). Out of everyone I've ever been with, he's the best sexual partner that I've ever had and in my mind, seeking out anything else would be stupid because it's just not even going to compare. The hardest part is honestly just being away from him. Not being able to lay in bed with him and hold his hand and laugh with him. Being here in this amazing city but not being able to fully share it with him. Not being able to fully be there to support him when he's having a bad day. Those are the hard things, for me.
 
If your a chick then mail your guy some used panties of yours, that he knows your 'scent', and if your a guy then what had helped me in a long distance relationship is i went to the adult shop and bought a 'clone your cock'kit. Sent her it in the mail along with a few poloroids of my cock, and the back photo is a picture of me cumming all over her panties that she sent me earlier in the week.
 
^ for extra excitement, send some polaroids of your genitals without any warning or indication of where it came from.
 
i've done LDR before...we both bought a disposable camera and took pictures of things we were doing and stuff we liked and whatever was happening in our lives, and pics of ourselves too. Then we sent the cameras to each other and got them developed. It was really fun! It's a lot more fun and interesting than just receiving picture texts all the time.
 
Just a quick update: My partner and I have booked our travel during the winter break, and we get to be together for a full 20 days :) less than 2 months until we're together, so I'm getting really excited
 
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