I started a new job today
This isn't my actual job
It's a word-of-mouth-bit-on-the-side-cash-in-hand job
Nosleazy either
Bonus
There's a fantastic I-wish-I could-type-it-but-I-can-only-tell-real-life-people literary famous person connection to this job which made it even more attractive to me (didn't over-ride the financial attraction though, it has to be said)
Having only met the employer once several weeks ago & agreed the cost of my services, I arrived this morning to an awkward start & no real direction to what was wanted from me
I cracked on regardless, fast realising that the job I was doing had mainly already been done & feeling a little bewildered by why I was being paid to do something that didn't really need doing
Twenty minutes before the end of the allotted time, I'm floundering a little & the employer asks if I will stay & chat when I've finished 'if you have time' & when I admit that I've kinda run out of things to do & I've never done a job like this that's already been mostly done, she says that's fine & beckons me to sit down at the table with her & presents me with 20% more than I'd asked for, for less time working than I'd done
I protest & we to-and-fro twice before I *ker-ching* accept reluctantly
We chat about families & she quizzes me about my work history & I over-egg the information pudding
She asks if I would like a glass of wine
I say I'd love to (without emphasising how fucking much I'd love to) but I can't because I'm driving (and I want to go & score with this money you've just given me goddammit)
She says I could leave the car outside & pick it up tomorrow
I say why I can't do that
She says, 'well I'm going to have one anyway. Do you mind?'
I don't mind at all
She says 'won't you just have a little one?'
I agree and she says she only has red
I tell her I only like red
She pours me a thankfully drive-friendly thimble full of red wine
I sip & chat
Sip & chat
I'm trying not to be obvious about looking at the time on my wrist, even though I'm enjoying chatting & loving the bizarreness of this whole situation, I only have a small window of time-opportunity and wonder as we're talking about family, have you paid me 20% extra because you're going to make me stay 20% longer talking to you?
Maybe you're just like my Granny
She was never satisfied
I leave 5 minutes after the allotted time (I discover when I get in the car - I couldn't flick the time on my wrist discreetly enough) & as I walk down her path, she calls out after me 'I'm so glad you like red wine'
This isn't my actual job
It's a word-of-mouth-bit-on-the-side-cash-in-hand job
Nosleazy either
Bonus
There's a fantastic I-wish-I could-type-it-but-I-can-only-tell-real-life-people literary famous person connection to this job which made it even more attractive to me (didn't over-ride the financial attraction though, it has to be said)
Having only met the employer once several weeks ago & agreed the cost of my services, I arrived this morning to an awkward start & no real direction to what was wanted from me
I cracked on regardless, fast realising that the job I was doing had mainly already been done & feeling a little bewildered by why I was being paid to do something that didn't really need doing
Twenty minutes before the end of the allotted time, I'm floundering a little & the employer asks if I will stay & chat when I've finished 'if you have time' & when I admit that I've kinda run out of things to do & I've never done a job like this that's already been mostly done, she says that's fine & beckons me to sit down at the table with her & presents me with 20% more than I'd asked for, for less time working than I'd done
I protest & we to-and-fro twice before I *ker-ching* accept reluctantly
We chat about families & she quizzes me about my work history & I over-egg the information pudding
She asks if I would like a glass of wine
I say I'd love to (without emphasising how fucking much I'd love to) but I can't because I'm driving (and I want to go & score with this money you've just given me goddammit)
She says I could leave the car outside & pick it up tomorrow
I say why I can't do that
She says, 'well I'm going to have one anyway. Do you mind?'
I don't mind at all
She says 'won't you just have a little one?'
I agree and she says she only has red
I tell her I only like red
She pours me a thankfully drive-friendly thimble full of red wine
I sip & chat
Sip & chat
I'm trying not to be obvious about looking at the time on my wrist, even though I'm enjoying chatting & loving the bizarreness of this whole situation, I only have a small window of time-opportunity and wonder as we're talking about family, have you paid me 20% extra because you're going to make me stay 20% longer talking to you?
Maybe you're just like my Granny
She was never satisfied
I leave 5 minutes after the allotted time (I discover when I get in the car - I couldn't flick the time on my wrist discreetly enough) & as I walk down her path, she calls out after me 'I'm so glad you like red wine'
