Time To Make A Change - Help Please

[attempt4]

Ok...

2 nights ago I had 2 near-fatal seizures one after the other and vomitted in the second one to the point where if I wasn't found, I wouldn't be here typing this to you...

I basically have no choice but to give up my anxiety-killing substance and whatnot.

I rely on this to cure my anxiety and to think of a day without fills me with fear.

I have to see a Mental Health Nurse next week and would just like to know some of your advice for getting over anxiety/depression without the use of drugs.

Leaving the house fills me with dread, speaking to people is very difficult without my anxiety-curing substance, so please, any advice is great.
I think they spoke about Cognitive Behavioural Therapy.....any experiences with that?

I'm at a low fucking ebb right now.
Thank you for your response.

 

[attempt4]

The plan is to taper my Kratom use down to nil. I'm not worried about W/D's....

What I am worried about is things like going into work, job interviews, basically anything that requires social interaction. I've relied on Kratom for the past 4 years and Alcohol for 6 years (amongst other things) as it was a fantastic way of dealing with my extreme anxiety, racing thoughts, inability to communicate with humans effectively. You know the drill.

Now I need to embark on a life free of reliance, free of the crutches, free of fear.

I need your help, desperately. I can't explain how terrifying that concept is to me...

What are your methods for dealing with anxiety? I despise talking to psychoanalysts, counsellors and anybody really. I am difficult and refuse to open up to a stranger with a set modus operandi of analysing my thoughts into neat compact definitive responses. I find it both degrading and useless.

God....what a fucking mess.

 

[Legerity]

I find that it's helpful to approach anxiety from several angles:

-Reduce unnecessary sources of stress from your life (toxic relationships/jobs, etc.)
-Stress reduction techniques (meditation, yoga, deep breathing, etc.)
-Changing thoughts patterns and beliefs that contribute to anxiety (therapy, introspection)
-Learning to accept and experience anxiety when it is unavoidable

If there are things that create anxiety for you then it is normal to feel uncomfortable about opening up to others about them. I found therapy to be helpful but if this is not something you feel comfortable with then finding other people that can listen to you is also very therapeutic.

Writing out your thoughts and feelings can help clear the clutter from your mind and allow you to have some more clarity. I've yet to maintain a routine of doing this but I feel it's time to begin again.

I used to wake up terrified to face the day and doing yoga or meditation in the morning helped take the edge off and allow me to do what I had to do. In my experience doing it first thing makes a difference compared to doing it later on because it kind of sets your state of mind for the rest of the day.

I think ultimately it's important to be able to experience the anxiety because there's not many people who are able to achieve a completely calm state all the time. The less fear you have of it the less it will matter whether some stress occurs or not.

 

[attempt4]

That's a very good point.
Thank you.
I used to practice meditation daily and it was unbelievably effective, but I just kinda stopped as I started using drugs more and more.

Time to get back into it I think.
Yes you are right....what is going to separate the new me from the old me is the ability to actually observe the anxiety, feel it and continue doing whatever it is im doing anyway.
Thank you.

more tips would be inexplicably beneficial Seriously, I can't thank anybody who replies enough.

 

[AfterGlow]

I don't have anything to add to Legerity's suggestions. But I can tell you that after using alcohol and benzos for 25+ years myself to deal with anxiety and panic attacks and then suffering thru seizures when I ran out of benzos once and convulsions when I detoxed from alcohol, I am now clean and sober and I can deal with anxiety in a healthy way. Life isn't perfect and I can still break out in sweats when I feel anxiety, but it's not the end of the world for me. I much prefer situational anxiety over benzo rebound anxiety. And I hated how benzos began to impair my ability to think straight and remember events that I just experienced. Quitting alcohol and benzos was the toughest thing I ever had to do. But now, I am soooo glad I did it!

One thing that has helped me tremendously is regular strenuous exercise. It's a natural way to dissipate all of that adrenaline and cortisol that builds up in my system and makes me feel stressed out.

Good luck to you and let us now how you're doing!

 

[Asclepius]

All I can add to this is not to forget to reward yourself somehow/with something(healthy), although it is difficult for you at the moment to probably enjoy anything because of the anxiety, it is still important not to neglect your needs.

Also, maintain a healthy and nutritious diet. Proteins, Fruit and Veg, Complex Carbohydrates.
Providing yourself physiologically and mentally with the nutrients that will help fight to maintain a better, mood etc

 

[attempt4]

Does anybody here have any explanation as to what could be causing my seizures (i know it's ambiguous and there are various factors) and how to avoid them? I feel like a ticking timebomb just waiting for it to happen and eventually not gonna survive the next one.

 

[Legerity]

If you're having near-fatal seizures and have not spoken to a doctor about them I would really suggest doing so right away. We can only speculate here which is not going to be helpful.

 

[attempt4]

Oh no, I was rushed to hospital on Thursday night after having 2 in quick succession and vomitting on the second.
They released me the following afternoon.

I have to go and speak to my doctor tomorrow, but they are clueless as to what the cause is.
I used to be an extremely heavy drug user and drinker. The first one occurred in 2009 after a particularly heavy binge...it's now happened 4 times, even whilst sober which is rather disconcerting I must say.

 

[HeWhoHowls]

What are your methods for dealing with anxiety? I despise talking to psychoanalysts, counsellors and anybody really. I am difficult and refuse to open up to a stranger with a set modus operandi of analysing my thoughts into neat compact definitive responses. I find it both degrading and useless.

God....what a fucking mess.

Its perfectly effective to be your own psychoanalyst.
You know evrythng about your self n can be truthful n honest with yourself.
This is introspection.
Look deep inside yourself, find the source of your problem, keep trying what ever you thnk feels right ti lyou finally find what fits you.
The perfect diagnosis is a well-informed self diagnosis.

 

[itsok]

Since u have been on downer for years and have stopped, have u checked ur blood pressure. I have heard of one or two with massive opiate addiction, have a seizure when they stopped.

Of course, ppl who suddenly stop taking benzos and/or alcohol can get seizures too, but i dont think u were on those...

 

[suessmayr]

Do you think that if you made a real effort to see a psychiatrist you might eventually get past the anxiety and loathing? I have intense anxiety right now as a result of cleaning up at long last and although I can sometimes not even speak to my psychiatrist and have to leave the room, I could not imagine doing it without him. My life was going around in circles until I landed a good doctor.

I also have to disagree with the other person's opinion that we are our own best therapists. If this were true, we would not be drug addicts. We can all see for ourselves where we are as a result of our own independence and decision-making; sometimes it takes another person's perspective to break the destructive cycles. Perspective is key.

Good luck,

S