Throw Away...

[DeirdreScott]

You gave me a rose today
You said you held me dear
You told me to throw away
All my "unfounded" fears

Then I tried to love you
I gave you my tender heart
Convinced your heart was true
I thought we'd never part

But as I drew close
You only pushed me down
I threw away all my hope
Because of what I found

You gave me a rose today...
What did you hope to gain?
I threw your rose away
Wish I could throw away the pain...

 

[staudri]

i like it,
i think its format is ....ummm... idunno, young i guess... i remember turning in poems with that exact rhyme scheme in 9th grade, and the 4 line ( i forgot what theyre called )

i DO really like it, i just think youd be a better writer if you tried a more unconventional format ( no offence , love the work )

 

[RareForm]

i feel the pain, last lines very nice.

 

[DeirdreScott]

Thanks for the construct... Always welcome to critical analysis... You should check out my other ones. They don't all have rhyme scheme. I much prefer assonance and alliteration. The latter quite more so than the former...