Counterintuitive
Bluelighter
I just jotted this down. It lacks structure, rhyme scheme and so-on. This post is strictly to see if I have a well-formulated idea or not. So, if you all would focus on the idea alone, it would be helpful to hear your comments. Too often do I write things that make sense to me, but fail to reach the reader. Hopefully you all have something constructive to add.
This was my life; all I ever did was watch as it passed by.
A story of snares and hooks, A tale of deceit and lies;
And in the end, I feel collapsed and pulled to the inside.
Where smoke and mirrors lift and crack, and the shroud breaks.
A torpid existence down here; In here within your my own self.
Within my own skin... My own holding cell.
Where a familiar face does stare back as I spiral out,
Where a familiar voice faintly whisper's as I fade out
"Too little... Too late..." and now almost too faint to hear it say,
"Your existence here was free of death, but devoid of life"
Faceless now, with no one now. Where is the illusion that I had built?
A self-constructed pit in-which I dwell and wait for the swelling tide
to come and wash me out. Mindless and drowning; drowning through all my time -
I self-destruct and flush down the morbid pipeline.
This was my life, and all I ever did was watch as it passed by
This was my life; all I ever did was watch as it passed by.
A story of snares and hooks, A tale of deceit and lies;
And in the end, I feel collapsed and pulled to the inside.
Where smoke and mirrors lift and crack, and the shroud breaks.
A torpid existence down here; In here within your my own self.
Within my own skin... My own holding cell.
Where a familiar face does stare back as I spiral out,
Where a familiar voice faintly whisper's as I fade out
"Too little... Too late..." and now almost too faint to hear it say,
"Your existence here was free of death, but devoid of life"
Faceless now, with no one now. Where is the illusion that I had built?
A self-constructed pit in-which I dwell and wait for the swelling tide
to come and wash me out. Mindless and drowning; drowning through all my time -
I self-destruct and flush down the morbid pipeline.
This was my life, and all I ever did was watch as it passed by
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