Three Old Poems, just unnearthed.

[Prolapstriumph]

<<I found these shits scribbled on a sheet of non-handed in math 'homework' from a binder i had in grade ten, which as i just turned nineteen would be about four years ago? yea late night and im fulla drugs, gimme a break...>>

"Sacred warmth, Still mental weather"

Wallow in narcotic dreamstate,
the bruised heavens hide forgotten space,
filter condensed time.

Meandering callously,
yet lacking will to seek.

No beauty in this sacred warmth,
sanctuary from deepest malcontent.

You'll find no beauty,
under this tainted sky,
This chemical impression will suffice.

"Beast Without"

This beast, so poignant in deceit,
does he exist, vessel manifest?

A vehicle propelled by consciousness,
or forsaken drone, misguided and somber?

Has he the most basic notion,
flooded by black and white duality?

This is, perhaps, the mark of the beast.

He hastily strides towards singular cause,
is he to be adored?


"Converge, Why not?"

Immersion in a potent brine,
caution and ideas of love,
polar affection, cured by the sun.

Relieving ambient mood shift,
corrode these neurotic pillars,
we'll weave into the abstract.

Free this idea, open your eyes
to the blinding ache.
To close them would insult this
unnameable aesthetic.
Mutual acidic magnetism.

 

[RareForm]

You're way with words astonishes me...

 

[TiberCross]

^me too, all were amazing but the second was my fav.

 

[Prolapstriumph]

thanks for the confidence, I dont think these are good atall in the way of structure or anything, just interesting that this was where my thoughts were at, at age 15.

 

[katmeow]

"Sacred warmth, Still mental weather"

Wallow in narcotic dreamstate,
the bruised heavens hide forgotten space,
filter condensed time.

Meandering callously,
yet lacking will to seek.

No beauty in this sacred warmth,
sanctuary from deepest malcontent.

You'll find no beauty,
under this tainted sky,
This chemical impression will suffice.

I really liked this one - reminds me of a friend of mine's poetry, written under the influence of opiates. For something written when you were quite young, it's very impressive!

P.S. How good is the word 'meandering'?

 

[onetwothreefour]

Re: Re: Three Old Poems, just unnearthed.

Originally posted by katmeow
P.S. How good is the word 'meandering'?

yes!

i really like the rhyming and timing (ooh) of "beast without". very nice work, especially considering your age at the time!

 

[cherub]

Converge, Why not?"

Immersion in a potent brine,
caution and ideas of love,
polar affection, cured by the sun.

Relieving ambient mood shift,
corrode these neurotic pillars,
we'll weave into the abstract

absolutely brillant work, definately looking for more of your work