Thought my fiancé was going to die - PTSD?

[Pagey]

Hi,

A few days ago, my fiancé and the man of my life, the best thing that's ever happened to me, was rushed to the hospital with symptoms resembling a stroke and brain infection. He was tested for brain damage and a variety of things. We were on skype when it happened and I saw him become suddenly unable to speak, start completely hallucinating, turn grey, be violently sick and just act so...different. It was terrifying. I got him to call an ambulance and he was immediately taken care of but I'm currently on exchange on the other side of the world and had no idea what was going on, only that doctors suspected brain damage and that he couldn't even really see anymore. For about 2 days straight I was convinced this was it, he was going to die. I don't even want to try to explain how I felt at that moment because I don't think I can even make sense of it myself.
He's epileptic and turns out it was related to that. Long story short, he's okay now, but I can't stop reliving it. I'm not sleeping at night, I'm having panic attack after panic attack, I'm terrified of something like this happening again. I've never been so scared in my life.
I've had PTSD before and it's resembling this. I don't know what to do. Went to my doctor's today, explained the situation and all I was told to do was start seeing a psychiatrist, and I was prescribed 5 2mg Valium. So now I'm just lying in bed at 4 in the afternoon, downing my 2nd bottle of wine because I just want to forget.

I don't know what to do. Please help.

 

[Captain.Heroin]

Talking about it is the #1 thing you can do.

I can only imagine how terrifying the experience was. My heart goes out to you and your fiancé

I have PTSD and still am working on it. You can always PM me to talk if it'll help I'll always reply

 

[herbavore]

Wow, Pagey, I can only imagine how terrifying that was. How is he dealing with it now? It must have been terrifying for him! I would think that the most important thing is to speak with the medical experts and make sure that you both completely understand what they know--why it happened, how to prevent it happening in future and what precautions to take, etc. (())

 

[Allein]

Pagey that would be enough to traumatise anyone let alone someone who already has enough problems to be going on with.

I hope both of you are OK, you deserve to be

 

[THECATINTHEHAT]

Keep on opening your mouth and explaining how you feel, you're doing the right thing.

I understand the desire to drink to numb the pain, but you need to be in touch with it to be able to deal with it effectively. If you feel able to, try to let the feelings adsorb you so you can really feel them and be with them then share the experience with someone you feel comfortable with so you can examine them and work out what they mean and try to find a way to deal with them. I know this might seem impossible at the moment but it could really help.

Fingers crossed for you and your partner, thank god you were there to get him to call the ambulance.

 

[Corazon]

Sorry that happened. You sound like you really care for him.

Right now, one of the rational things to do is look at the doctor's explanation. Are you satisfied with the diagnosis that it was in fact an epileptic event?
Are there things that can help prevent future episodes? (medication, maintaining blood sugar levels, avoiding certain visual stimuli, etc...)...

 

[Hey :-)]

I've had PTSD before and it's resembling this. I don't know what to do. Went to my doctor's today, explained the situation and all I was told to do was start seeing a psychiatrist, and I was prescribed 5 2mg Valium. So now I'm just lying in bed at 4 in the afternoon, downing my 2nd bottle of wine because I just want to forget.

I don't know what to do. Please help.

Hi Pagey,

Many years ago my bother died from a heroin OD. He was my best friend. The only unconditional relationship i have ever had. I could not and still cannot totally accept his death.

A few months after his death, my partner at the time told me he was leaving me. I had my first panic attack. I felt as though i could not get enough air in to breath properly and i had the most horrendous 'omg this is death' feeling around my core. I begged my partner at the time to ring for an ambulance because i was convinced i was dying. He did not call for help, which at the time i could not understand. I later learned that i had experienced my first panic attack. Because this attack did not happen at the time of my brothers death, i did not connect the two.

My panic attacks lasted for over a decade, gradually reducing in intensity and changing slightly in nature. I rarely have them now.

I did some reading on the subject and found that repression/suppression .. i cannot remember how to distinguish between the two, may be responsible for grief coming up into awareness in this altered form. What is actually happening when you have a panic attack is that you are hyperventilating. Breath in and out of a paper bag. That way you decrease the amount of oxygen and increase the amount of carbon dioxide in your system bringing things more into balance. You are also giving yourself something to focus on.

May i suggest you take a look into your past at possible 'loss triggers' for your current panic attacks.

I'm sorry i have not more than this to offer.

Hey

Ps watch out for repeated valium scripts. The dose can skyrocket because of tolerance and you could possibly end up with an awful inability to tolerate stress, plus a benzo WD.

 

[Maya]

Great responses on this thread. Pagey I hope you are feeling better. I would fe the same if that happened to my bf. Like what corazon have mentioned, this episode may be prevented by a close monitor of the body's function. I hope he is doing better too and taking care of his body.

 

[badfish45]

Please keep us updated Pagey You've been an AMAZING person and an amazing friend on Bluelight. Id hate to see you have something so dearly taken away from you. I guess I don't have much advice to share...just want to spread the love. Life is a horribly dreadful thing sometimes, rather immoral and unforgiving. But hopefully this post will make you realize that we are at your back and you aren't alone, we want you to be happy just as much as you want to be happy and we want your fiance to be happy and healthy just as much as you do

 

[coelophysis]

I did some reading on the subject and found that repression/suppression .. i cannot remember how to distinguish between the two

They're pretty much synonymous with each other by definition. Though the way I would use them in context, and I'm fairly certain other people would use them this way as well would be that suppression is something you consciously bottle up and avoid confronting. Whereas repression is better used to explain feelings and memories that you weren't knowingly keeping within you, repression hides itself from you.



Sorry to hear about your scary experience Pagey. Try to see someone positive in it. Hell, it would have been a lot more traumatizing if what you feared actually became true (as in he died.) I don't think I can add much more that hasn't already been said. Focus on the precautions you two can make in preventing things like that from happening, if it's possible. If it's an unavoidable type of thing then have a plan of action to get him the help he needs as quickly as possible.