This world of fantasy

(20 Days Clean Today)

Ever since I was little I indulged in fantasy. I would spend an entire day reading science fiction books and as I got older became heavily involved in role playing games such as Dungeons and Dragons, Traveller and Gangbusters. Shit, I even created my own based on John Norman's Gor series that my friends and I would play.

In my early teens I dug into drugs and eventually fell in love with acid and shrooms.

I embraced everything except for reality.

Now I'm approaching 40 and I am only now accepting reality for what it is. The hard facts and how things REALLY work.

Recently, I was approached by someone for help with her drug problem. She came with me to a couple of meetings and last week she texted stating she was going to check herself into the local State Hospital for rehab. Fuck that filthy place!

I told her to meet me and we went to the organization that placed me into rehab without any insurance or money. She is scheduled to be picked up tomorrow at 11am to go to a real rehab facility (with no money or insurance).

This has got me to thinking...

I have a knack for this kind of thing. People open up to me rather easily. I can morph and fit into basically any environment from the soup kitchen to catered dinners. I'm accepted across racial and economic divides and I have some knowledge on how this real world works.

I believe that I would make a very good Substance Abuse Counselor but now this is where I question my grasp of reality versus fantasy...

Didja ever watch A&E's The Cleaner? It is an exaggerated depiction of a dude named Warren Boyd.

This dude assisted people with getting help with their addictions (sometimes placing himself in dangerous situations to do so). He had a coupla other people working with him.

Is it fantastical for me to want to do something along those lines? Seeking lost souls out in the streets and getting them help?

I dunno. I haven't any children. No wife. No one that really needs me (in a traditional sense). Why not go where people just like me need me?

Who knows? I always had some sort of 'hero fantasy' and always told myself I wanted to die saving someone (pushing a kid out of the way of a moving car and taking the hit instead, taking a bullet for someone in a robbery gone awry, etc.). These scenarios are far from realistic and I definitely believe that it all has to do with my ego and self-centeredness.

Once again, who knows? It would be cool to be like that dude on The Cleaner but I suspect this is just more fantasy that resides in my head.

 

just dont be a dick like that guy was. At least on the TV show, I could not stand him. he had a serious ego problem, and the way he actually went out kidnapping people and shit, thats fucked up.

I do think tho that just bein out on the street and reachin out to people and shit is a good look.

honestly i want to work some type of job like that too. I want to work with the needle exchange and be out on the street helpin people, handin out needles and condoms and flyers for rehabs and shit like that. i want to be out there yo, touchin peoples lives not just at some desk doin like psychology counseling shit in a chair. i wanna be OUT THERE, where i WAS...When i was out sleepin in my car, when i was out runnin with nowhere to go, livin that life....I want to go back there and grab the hands of the folks still there and give em a boost back up -- IF THEY WANT IT. Cuz you cant force that shit, but if you work with people who do want the help there aint no limit to how much u can help them.

consider this yo.

In Jersey theres a program called Workforce Improvement, which is for unemployed people. even if you aint collecting unemployment you can get it. They give a 4000 dollar tuition voucher to any unemployed person who signs up. you have to use it on an approved program and school like you cant sign up and then go to fuckin, philosophy classes or some shit, it has to be CAREER TRAINING--A certificate course at the community college , etc. In jerz you can go to lots of schools--all the community/county colleges, or shit like Rutgers, William paterson, etc--good schools.

It cant be longer than one year--they aint financin ur ass to get a degree, but just to get career training in a good field that will improve your chances/ability to get a job when u finish. alot of times the Adult education Dept. at the school is the one that offer that type classes. shit like Accounting, Legal Secretary, Bookkeeping, fuckin, TONS of shit, i forget, the options i said there sounds boring but theres TONS of certificate courses, usually 8, 10, or 12 mos long, that you come out of as a 'Certified WTFever".

And wat Im gettin at, is there is this thing called a Human Services Specialist. Its like the pre-certification to Substance Abuse Counselor.

Its a basic training that teaches you all the basics of social worker, counselor, substance abuse counselor, mental health assistant, etc--all that kinda shit, kinda rolled up into one. You learn how to be like, a basic level jack of all trades of the social work field, and you can get a job doin allll kind of shit with that certification, and after you got it, its only XX amount more hours of training you need before you can be a licensed drug counselor.

Its the thing that i want to go to school to do. gettin pregnant kinda fucked me up, so i didnt start this fall like i was gonna, but im plannin to go to spring classes at passaic county comm. college in paterson this spring to get my Human Services Specialist training.

And the best part is that ITS FREE, like i said. Completely paid for by the state. you aint gotta do nothing special to get it, just be unemployed (which , I think you are, unless I am wrong.) I dont know how it works in PA, but im sure they got a similar program, i think it is a federal program matter fact, so im pretty damn sure you could do it too.

It would give you somethin to do with your time, fill your head with positivity, you know?

for me, the idea of doin somethin so fuckin fulfilling, so deeply satisfying, that could realy make me happy inside, is a really big motivation. I think it could do alot for you yo, you should give it a shot. Hit me up if you want any help or info about the program, and ill tell u everything I know , cuz I went to the class about how to get the money for school already so i know wat you gotta do to apply.

Much love yo...

 

I think you and me are on the same page, lacey. I wanna dig in and work at the street level. We all know there is a need. It seems folks are simply too afraid to dig in or they have simply forgotten.

I know so many people that get clean and all of a sudden they aren't willing to hug that addict walking in the door that smells like sweat and urine. Pisses me off but that's on them

A buddy of mine, Dave B., knew all about those programs you are talking about. He has passed away (clean) and I miss him.

Our Social Security Office has info on the programs you are talking about. Many are offered thru career link. I'm gonna hit you up because our Social Security Office is busy as shit and they are disorganized so I think it would help if I knew exactly what to say to get the most/best info because I am unemployed and broke.

When i was in school I changed my major to Human Services Drug and Alcohol but dropped the class half way through because I got wrapped up in the shit again. I am 32 credits away from getting an Associates in what you defined above.

I'm gonna PM you within a coupla days with some questions.

Thanks for lookin' out, lacey. You have heart

 

I don't have much to say, but I dig where your mind is headed. Props on being clean for 20 days, we are here when you need us. At least I am here if you need me haha. No homo, of course

 

John Norman's Gor novels were fun to read. I liked the cover art too.

 

OMG!!!! The cover art for the first 8 or so novels was AWESOME!!!! I think Boris was the artist.

Holy shit, they were HOT!

 

that actually sounds like a great idea. what any addict needs, is someone who legitimately understand them (like an ex addict), to show them some care, and a way out.

i think you could save a hell of a lot of lives man.

 

thanks, man. I kinda have a plan which I'm guessing is going to take a coupla years but who knows, maybe baby steps will turn into decent strides quicker than I think.

First things first, I GOTTA get my own shit together. I just started working again and it looks like it will be promising so that will be huge for me in getting to where I want to be quicker.

Quick question, OG... did you learn Spanish from exposure, taking classes or both? I realize I NEED to learn this language but my memorization skills are real poor. My buddy is going to help when I'm ready and I think I may be making it out to be harder than it is. How'd you do it?