this struggle

[adamski10]

I've been on this forums for a while, i've had many drug experiences over the last few years- seen, heard, tasted and been the rainbow. I'd like to think of myself as quite intelligent, i like to understand the world around me and more over i love my friends. I think that if i dont stop smoking cannabis i'm stripping myself of any potential i have to make something of myself in the future. I don't partuicually enjoy the effects anymore, it's just weed.... without it tho, i'm agitated, obsessed and consumed for a desire for it.

If i'm around the class a section of the world i realise i've taken it after the act.... prior to that it's like i'm possessed, i feel this daemon inside me bubble to the surface and i'll say anything, be anyone to try and get what i want. i realise afterwoulds that i've nagged and blagged my way to something i don't even want to take. For a sensation that i've felt so many times before it's lost any spark any magic and it's just resentment in a pill or powder.

I'm really trying to be the best i can, but the best i can can't seem to get rid of this desire. It's a head fuck, why try when all i'm doing is constantly fucking my mind over, playing this battle.

I think i'm going crazy too, like proper crazy i keep having visions, moments with the divine, sober moments of bliss that change to horrible desperation- this worlds far too beautiful to look at it thoguh darkened lenses.

I'd really like to hear some wise words from anyone. i want to be more than that stoner.

 

[Deleted member 210577]

You know the answer to what you've written.. you need to stop. The fact that you've admitted it to yourself shows you are ready to make the first step. Get rid of all your materials.. and if you are involved socially you need to re-evaluate those connections or how you interact with the people. Depending on how much you smoke and what grade you may get some minor withdrawal.. a week or so of bad/sweaty sleep as your body readjusts, and mentally you will probably have thoughts about why this is stupid and i should just start smoking again, just one. Just punch on through it and you will come out the other side

 

[badfish45]

The withdrawal sucks, but you do get over it. Typically I experienced some mood swings, depression, and a little trouble getting to sleep and eating, but once you get out of that it's free flying from there. I love cannabis, but it does have a huge potential to weigh down, so I find it's always good while I would never stop for good, to take long breaks at a time. From what I read, you seem like a very intelligent person worth more than just being a stoner so I'm really happy to see you want to take charge of your life

 

[Legerity]

Yeah I can relate to constant mood shifts. Doesn't mean you're going crazy; at least I tell myself that

In what ways is cannabis stripping you of your potential, and do you associate your use with these constant mood shifts?