somasoldier
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Sep 13, 2016
- Messages
- 8
Hey everyone, heres a little bit of my story might be long but ill include a tl;dr at the bottom, I hope this helps someone not to get on this shit EVER!!!!! I am currently addicted to benzos, alcohol,marijuana, soma, as well as other gaba drugs(gabapentin, lyrica) terribly. My tolerance has sky rocketed to the point where I cannot get high anymore off benzos. The only thing saving me right now is a script for 3mg of klonopin a day which keeps wds at bay. About 2 years ago my life was pretty good and had a bright future ahead of me, I was in university getting good grades with the hopes of going to law school(was in my 3rd year when I dropped out). I never came from money but had very nice things, was selling cocaine although I rarely used (just to prove to paranoid customers that I was not a cop, or to test for quality when buying to sell). Along with that money, had a job as a pharmaceutical reps assistant ( would help him pitch whatever drug it was, and was allowed on a few occasions to freelance and would go into drs offices and pitch it myself which came out quite positive) note that these were not controlled substances usually topical ointments, patches or to persuade the dr to use our lab for drug tests. I had life made, was making over $6,000 a month at 22 years old, had a nice apartment and a very nice car. Kept getting requests from customers if I had any xanax bars for the comedown of the coke, so I decided to pick up 100 tablets for sale. I have always been a VERY nervous and anxious person, paranoid as well (anyone who has dealt knows this, cops, stick up boys etc.) Sold about 30 of them, then figured meh why not try one no harm in trying them once right? Welp I was wrong, I rolled a blunt up and popped a bar; I was in bliss, the best high I had have ever felt in the world. No anxiety, no worries, got the dreaded "Is this what normal people feel like all the time?" question. I was able to keep it a weekend thing for a few weeks (nothing wrong with using it just on the weekends right? i told myself). My world started to deteriorate day by day, was diagnosed with cluster headaches, I kept getting these headaches on one side of my head and my eye felt like a burning ice pick in my eye. Went to a neurologist who gave me migraine pills which only made things worse, I had my headeaches along with the rebound headaches from these drugs. Went for an mri, as I was walking to my car I got a call from my primary who got the results and told me to go to the hospital ASAP otherwise I risk dying,frantic I drove to the ER and waited for over 8 hours just to get seen, along with another 6 hour wait for the Ear nose and throat dr to come in. I had a sphenoid sinus infection which was working its way to my brain and was pressing on my optical nerve( which is why I felt pain there), he told me if I didnt have surgery right now I risk going blind and more then likely when it reaches my brain, death. The cause was a combination of cocaine and inhaling black mold from old the house I lived in ( lived deep in the hood, with all the lead paint and black mold great place....). Thankfully the surgery resolved these dreaded headaches.
I stayed in the hospital for 3 days and left with a script of 60 10mg/Hydrocodone, I never took an opiate prior to this in my life seen too many friends die or turn into fiends off it. Took half of one in the morning because my head was sore from the surgery, WOW I felt fucking amazing, I felt like a golden blanket wrapped around me and I nodded off of 5mg( lol it seems ridiculous but true). Everyday I kept taking more and more, but got frustrated with the side effects (constipation sometimes nausea) I worked up to 55mg to get high, went to go take a piss and I couldnt (another great opiate side effect) and said never again unless I truly need it for pain. I still had residuely soreness from the dr shoving a tube up my nose close to my brain getting rid of the infection, the dr offered to write more hydrocodone but I asked him if there was an alternative to an opiate. He wrote me 90 somas and that was the end of my life. I was no longer dealing, no longer working with my sales associate so I had no income. The somas (350mg per tablet) gave me the high I wanted, it felt like a benzo. I picked up 500 tablets of xanax 2mg and decided I would just sell this and leave the blow, ( i can never put anything up my nose again). I think only 5 of those 500 were sold and they were gone in 2 months of my own usage. I was taking 5-6 2mg tablets a day along with 3 or 4 somas for the first 2 weeks then doubled that, I was already an addict at this point. My rent and car note took up almost all of my savings, so my money was pretty much gone, couldnt afford the tuiton to go back to school. I began ransacking family members medicine cabinets looking for any benzo I could get, would take the opiates and trade for xanax. I went to my primary and almost begged for a script for panic attacks and worked up to 3mg of klonopin which I currently have now. When I dont have the money or cant find any benzos I pick up booze and realize how much it goes well with benzos.
Now we come to the present day, I take my 3mg of klonpin a day along with a 6 pack of beer every single night, as well as 60mg remeron to help me sleep. I somehow convinced my psychiatrist to prescribe me a Xanax script on top of my klonopin script, I get 30 .25mg pills a month which I eat the whole bottle whenever I get it. Im living with mom. Whenever I get money through stupid odd jobs or rob someone I binge hard on xanax and soma. I take 12 2mg tablets and 8 soma 350mgs, a few bong rips and a 6 pack of beer. This barely gives me a buzz anymore. If I can find lyrica or gabapentin I take 3grams and drink more with it. Ive tried and tried to taper off but the pain is unbearable, I cry like a little baby and every inch of my body hurts. My liver is probably shot, my lungs are killed from the 2 packs of cigarettes a day and Im dead broke. Suicide has entered my mind on more then one occasion. My physical appearance has deteriorated, all my fancy expensive clothes are gone and sold for drugs, my car was repo'd, I pray I dont wake up when I binge but I always do, I know people who have died on half of what I binge on, but yet Im still here living in hell. I want to try rehab but am afraid I will just go back when I get out, I always long for that feeling for when I first took a 2mg xanax bar but I never get it.
TLdR DONT EVER FUCKING TAKING XANAX IF YOU HAVE AN ADDICTIVE PERSONALITY AND ARE A ANXIOUS PERSON. If someone wants to experience somewhat it feels like take 2 beers and chug them then rip a bong, it will give somewhat a calming feeling without touching this drug. My half brother took 2mg and couldnt stop after a week of doing it daily, we got into a physical confrontation after he tried to steal my stash, this is how evil this drug is. Makes family fight over it.
I stayed in the hospital for 3 days and left with a script of 60 10mg/Hydrocodone, I never took an opiate prior to this in my life seen too many friends die or turn into fiends off it. Took half of one in the morning because my head was sore from the surgery, WOW I felt fucking amazing, I felt like a golden blanket wrapped around me and I nodded off of 5mg( lol it seems ridiculous but true). Everyday I kept taking more and more, but got frustrated with the side effects (constipation sometimes nausea) I worked up to 55mg to get high, went to go take a piss and I couldnt (another great opiate side effect) and said never again unless I truly need it for pain. I still had residuely soreness from the dr shoving a tube up my nose close to my brain getting rid of the infection, the dr offered to write more hydrocodone but I asked him if there was an alternative to an opiate. He wrote me 90 somas and that was the end of my life. I was no longer dealing, no longer working with my sales associate so I had no income. The somas (350mg per tablet) gave me the high I wanted, it felt like a benzo. I picked up 500 tablets of xanax 2mg and decided I would just sell this and leave the blow, ( i can never put anything up my nose again). I think only 5 of those 500 were sold and they were gone in 2 months of my own usage. I was taking 5-6 2mg tablets a day along with 3 or 4 somas for the first 2 weeks then doubled that, I was already an addict at this point. My rent and car note took up almost all of my savings, so my money was pretty much gone, couldnt afford the tuiton to go back to school. I began ransacking family members medicine cabinets looking for any benzo I could get, would take the opiates and trade for xanax. I went to my primary and almost begged for a script for panic attacks and worked up to 3mg of klonopin which I currently have now. When I dont have the money or cant find any benzos I pick up booze and realize how much it goes well with benzos.
Now we come to the present day, I take my 3mg of klonpin a day along with a 6 pack of beer every single night, as well as 60mg remeron to help me sleep. I somehow convinced my psychiatrist to prescribe me a Xanax script on top of my klonopin script, I get 30 .25mg pills a month which I eat the whole bottle whenever I get it. Im living with mom. Whenever I get money through stupid odd jobs or rob someone I binge hard on xanax and soma. I take 12 2mg tablets and 8 soma 350mgs, a few bong rips and a 6 pack of beer. This barely gives me a buzz anymore. If I can find lyrica or gabapentin I take 3grams and drink more with it. Ive tried and tried to taper off but the pain is unbearable, I cry like a little baby and every inch of my body hurts. My liver is probably shot, my lungs are killed from the 2 packs of cigarettes a day and Im dead broke. Suicide has entered my mind on more then one occasion. My physical appearance has deteriorated, all my fancy expensive clothes are gone and sold for drugs, my car was repo'd, I pray I dont wake up when I binge but I always do, I know people who have died on half of what I binge on, but yet Im still here living in hell. I want to try rehab but am afraid I will just go back when I get out, I always long for that feeling for when I first took a 2mg xanax bar but I never get it.
TLdR DONT EVER FUCKING TAKING XANAX IF YOU HAVE AN ADDICTIVE PERSONALITY AND ARE A ANXIOUS PERSON. If someone wants to experience somewhat it feels like take 2 beers and chug them then rip a bong, it will give somewhat a calming feeling without touching this drug. My half brother took 2mg and couldnt stop after a week of doing it daily, we got into a physical confrontation after he tried to steal my stash, this is how evil this drug is. Makes family fight over it.
