This Life

What have we done? Why have we allowed society to degrade in such a manner? Kids are abusing pharmaceuticals, heroin & meth. It's crazy depressing watching the generation I live in today slave to painkillers & stimulant abuse. "Oh Idk what they've been though", fuck the fuck off. Drugs are not an escape for your problems. Nobody cares what you been through. How you deal with your troubles determines your real strength. If you choose to use drugs to deal with your "anxiety problems, mood problems, tragedies, etc", how the hell do you expect to handle them from a realistic perspective? I'm writing this blog at the bottom of a mood swing right now, but I don't turn to puny pills to help me get through my depressive nature. I fucking endure. It's upsetting to see more & more people falling victim to their own emotions. They don't know how to overcome because they have been defeated by what they believe is much stronger than them.

You are weak, get the fuck up. Your life isn't harder than anyone elses. You believe to have the short end of the stick because it's so easy to feel sorry for yourself. We all have our shit to deal with, so don't let your misfortune affect others by your negative attitude.

What have I done? Why have I allowed myself to become so cold? So spiteful? I have been trying & trying to embrace my emotions. I haven't been able to rise above my shadow self. It haunts me everywhere I go, taunting me at every corner and confusing my path. It disguises itself as my desires but are they even my desires? What are they? What drives me to do what I am not proud of even doing? Is that even me? Am I still back where I started in my journey to search for who I am? If not, what is my progress? I've learned more and more about HR and have been taking calculated risks as life goes by but has the worst yet to come? Am I over the mountain and running to the flat plain? Or am I still trapped in a dark, mysterious hurdle? I've helped myself identify with my idea of happiness and purpose but implementing my own ideas are becoming increasingly difficult. Should I look for another outlet? The uncertainty can be a cause for my depression. I seem not not even know where I am. How do I identify with my true self? I am at a loss for words.


I can't seem to practise what I preach. I can't seem to defer from my old ways. My brain seems to exist as a bundle of ideas that are constantly recycling and changing my thought processes. I am becoming someone new almost every year. Is this good or bad? I have no one to talk to as no-one can fathom the complexity of my brain. At least, no-one I've already met. I guess it's true that only you can help yourself in this world and no-one else can. This is a lonely feeling and yet comforting at the same time. I seem to enjoy the heavy energy attached to my brain and it keeps me calm, or is it that there diazepam? My down attitude is the easiest for me to dwell in but what is so comforting about it? Why is it that the negatives in life seem to be the most significant to us humans? We claim to be all about happiness and positivity but how many of us let this show on our auras? The people that do are easily identifiable as "off the wall" or are easily envied.

This society claims to want to help each-other but no-one wishes to see anyone on top of themselves. This world has become such a dark place and finding light in a cave is usually self made. It has become clear to me that only the mindset that seeks to be happy will be happy and the other that want to be happy will forever be lost as it is always easy to want something but to go out and find it is what defines us and creates our character.

 

It's becaused the developed world has finally reached peak decadence and what we jokingly refer to as the "Great" recession ( 2008 ) was just us bouncing off the limiter. The GDP growth rate in the G8 countries has stalled, new growth is limited to the developing world where there's still room for improvement.

We still haven't adjusted to this new reality. Gen X and Gen Y grew up watching the baby boomers living large on the wealth created during the post-WWII boom and we wanted a piece of their pie so bad that we accepted high levels of personal debt to finance our own personalized American dream. With the economy under stress and debts still looming, selfish behaviour is just a symptom of the stress created by us working longer and harder day by day just to pay interest on money owed.

I think you are right that mindset is the most important for us trying to endure all this. Stay out of debt, stay out of jail, stay positive. The simpler the plan, the more likely it is to succeed.

 

Because it's easy to be angry. It's easier than feeling...sad. Isn't it?

Because it's easy to feel "tough" or "better than" when you are cold.

But, you do miss out on the richness of a fuller emotional life.

Not judging you. I even see grains of truth in some views you express. But I have come a long way from my angry and somewhat violent youth...it's a lot more difficult to feel more than anger...

Worth it, though.

I feel so good when I reach out to someone who is suffering, and am able to comfort them and hopefully inspire or motivate them, through carefully balanced kindness and truth...

Carefully balanced.

Peace, my friend.

Edit: I also try very hard to remember that everyone is biologically different in body, and also that our strengths and weaknesses may be different, but that doesn't make me better than them or vice versa. What might be easy for me might be hard for you, and vice versa. This is why having relationships with others who care is so impirtant. And honey, I am a hardcore INTROVERT and I still say that lol.

Peace.