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This is for the lonely single people out there.

I am married and live with my wife almost 8 years ago, I love her unconditionally and I want to be with her until the end of my life.
Anyway, inside me there is still this irrefutable feeling of unrequited love, it is like a well that can not be filled, it is a love that no person can satisfy. This feeling pushes me to be creative and to be aware that life is finite and that I should enjoy it ... I think we have to somehow direct it towards ourselves, and we should not confuse it with the love we can offer to other people.
When I was younger, this feeling destroyed my old relationships because I felt that what they offered me was never enough, I always wanted more and more and I was never satisfied.
I understand that this void can't be satisfied through anyone, but somehow it can work like as an "elixir" for direct my life towards inner peace and to be aware of the potential that lives in me.


DocLad
 
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bluerobot said:
Okay okay. Dude. Your misunderstanding me. So i read that entire article. Which btw was the most subjective article I've ever read. And speaking of being subjective, this thread, which is my personal thread, was meant to be subjective because I'm personally going through it. In fact, I'm pretty sure Bluelight itself is entirely subjective. I mean it's basically just a place where everyone gives their opinions. So honestly, I don't know what you're talking about. And that article didn't say anything that I didn't know already. It was just full of the writers opinions and experiences. Super subjective. And he just said a bunch of obvious shit. And a lot of crap too. Like just cause Lennon did that stuff, doesn't make him a bad person. Everyone makes mistakes. And sure, there were a lot of great points in the article too but like I said it was all very obvious and nothing new to me. But complaining about my question being subjective, on a forum where everyone is subjective and then sending me a subjective article sound very hypocritical. And it seems more to me like you just want to argue and I really don't have the time or the energy for it.

I've been in toxic relationships where even tho everything was going to shit, I was still madly in love so I'm completely aware that love isn't everything. but love is also rare. So if there's even a chance that you could fix the problems in the relationship then I could understand staying together.

And you say that(and I quote) " it doesnt seem like a question that can be answered by anyone else but yourself, and through your own experience."
But if you look at the original question. It's basically just a yes or no question. All I was asking is if anyone can relate to how I'm feeling.
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Just going to bother with a few points here.

*You could have made a pole, if you were simply looking for a yes/no reply.

*Secondly, this is not your personal thread - it is a thread you created asking others perspectives on a subject that is personal to you. It is on a forum that is open to others to share their comments, opinions, perspectives and experiences with equal weight. I suggest you go to 'Blogs' if you wish to navel-gaze, or write a personal Journal account.
.
*You are a 24 year old man who feels the same way as most people - get over yourself and go attempt to experience a relationship ( or more importantly, friendships) instead of theorizing about what you wish and looking for everyone to agree with you - unless you wish to achieve no courage, wisdom, or further experience.

*You have an entire thread where people have responded to you - many relating to how you're feeling ( most people feel this way). Sounds to me like you just want your narcissism stroked.

*IF you are/were 'in-love' with a toxic partner, you are in-love with the idea of being in-love (or an idealised idea of that partner/yourself, or both) otherwise, you would not stay in a situation that is toxic ( which is the antithesis of a loving relationship). Also, have been in this situation. Real mature love is pragmatic and sometimes romantic but mostly, not that painfully dramatic ( hence why I posted the article you mostly, dismissed).

*Also, John lennon was an abusive, woman-beating narcissistic, hypocritcal twat with a god-complex - who hid behind a false persona and fame. Imho that does, absolutely, indicate a 'bad' , cruel character.
 
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Yeah as a social forum if you don't like someone's comment just ignore it... Simple as that. This world is HUGE so obviously there's going to be tons of people that just don't get how you feel! The best thing to do is just let em fly by Imho! Plus some people get way to pissed if you tell them they "Don't get it"
 
I gave up trying to get into a relationship a long time ago.

I just don't want to drag someone through my mental health issues and fuck up their day.

That and my long term use of anti depressants has made me anti sexual so to say.
 
noonoo said:
I just don't want to drag someone through my mental health issues and fuck up their day.
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i give you major props. for recognising this. some people spend their time trying to find the right person. maybe it's better to spend that time trying to be the right person.

alasdair
 
Asclepius said:
Just going to bother with a few points here.

*You could have made a pole, if you were simply looking for a yes/no reply.

*Secondly, this is not your personal thread - it is a thread you created asking others perspectives on a subject that is personal to you. It is on a forum that is open to others to share their comments, opinions, perspectives and experiences with equal weight. I suggest you go to 'Blogs' if you wish to navel-gaze, or write a personal Journal account.
.
*You are a 24 year old man who feels the same way as most people - get over yourself and go attempt to experience a relationship ( or more importantly, friendships) instead of theorizing about what you wish and looking for everyone to agree with you - unless you wish to achieve no courage, wisdom, or further experience.

*You have an entire thread where people have responded to you - many relating to how you're feeling ( most people feel this way). Sounds to me like you just want your narcissism stroked.

*IF you are/were 'in-love' with a toxic partner, you are in-love with the idea of being in-love (or an idealised idea of that partner/yourself, or both) otherwise, you would not stay in a situation that is toxic ( which is the antithesis of a loving relationship). Also, have been in this situation. Real mature love is pragmatic and sometimes romantic but mostly, not that painfully dramatic ( hence why I posted the article you mostly, dismissed).

*Also, John lennon was an abusive, woman-beating narcissistic, hypocritcal twat with a god-complex - who hid behind a false persona and fame. Imho that does, absolutely, indicate a 'bad' , cruel character.
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Whatever man. I know it's been a while since I been on this. I didn't even read you're entire reply because frankly I just don't care anymore. Life has change dramatically for me since I posted this. I'm literally the opposite of lonely now ! I'm so fucking happy. I can't even put into words how great my life is now. I'm sure you don't care so I'll just tell someone else down the list of replies about how my life has changed in many ways. Life is too good to deal with people like you. I can't believe I even wasted my time replying to you when I did. Lates yo :)
 
traybuck said:
Yeah as a social forum if you don't like someone's comment just ignore it... Simple as that. This world is HUGE so obviously there's going to be tons of people that just don't get how you feel! The best thing to do is just let em fly by Imho! Plus some people get way to pissed if you tell them they "Don't get it"
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Yes you are exactly right! I just replied to the guy above your comment and basically said that and read your comment right after. That's funny. I'm going to tell the whole forum/thread about what's been going on with me once I have time. There's a lot to tell. Sorry for going awol everyone! Life has just been so busy and great lately!
 
bluerobot said:
Do you ever feel like you have all this love bottled up inside but you have no one to apply it to? Almost like youve already fallen in love with someone except you've never met them and you have no idea who they are?

I feel this and think about this every day.
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thinkin of your soulmate???
 
bluerobot said:
Life has change dramatically for me since I posted this. I'm literally the opposite of lonely now ! I'm so fucking happy. I can't even put into words how great my life is now. I'm sure you don't care so I'll just tell someone else down the list of replies about how my life has changed in many ways. Life is too good to deal with people like you. I can't believe I even wasted my time replying to you when I did. Lates yo :)
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I’m glad that you are much happier than when you first started this thread bluerobot! Did you find somebody?

Also, please refrain from being rude to people (especially moderators and seniority) that reply to a thread you started on a public forum. If you don’t want anything subjective, don’t go looking for love because love is subjective.
 
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shadybraindamage said:
There is a difference between lonely and alone
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In the words of the band Silverchair, "I don't want to be lonely, I just want to be alone."

After just getting out of a long-term relationship, I don't mind being alone. I keep thinking about what a waste of time the whole thing was. You think you have a future with someone, but nope...I digress.
 
CoastTwoCoast said:
After just getting out of a long-term relationship, I don't mind being alone. I keep thinking about what a waste of time the whole thing was. You think you have a future with someone, but nope...I digress.
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This is where I'm at. With only one exception, my ex wife and all my ex girlfriends have been jealous, psycho, controlling or some combination of all three. I'm thinking the old maxim that men marry their mothers (my mother is all of the above) is probably true. I'm obviously not a good judge of character. It'd be nice to get laid once in a while, but these days it's not worth the baggage that comes with it.
 
aihfl said:
This is where I'm at. With only one exception, my ex wife and all my ex girlfriends have been jealous, psycho, controlling or some combination of all three. I'm thinking the old maxim that men marry their mothers (my mother is all of the above) is probably true. I'm obviously not a good judge of character. It'd be nice to get laid once in a while, but these days it's not worth the baggage that comes with it.
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You're right, it's probably not worth it. Honestly, I don't even care about getting laid that much anymore. Maybe it's because I'm turned off to my ex's behavior.

I've come to the conclusion that a majority of men are assholes so it's likely you'll end up with an asshole no matter what if you're a woman. It all boils down to how much you are willing to put up with and I think I've had enough.
 
alasdairm said:
i worry that the feeling you describe is more about an ideal of 'love' than actual love. while i think there's something to the idea of a universal love - in the spiritual sense of feeling oneness, connectedness or whatever - i'm not sure it's possible to have romantic love 'ready to go' when you meet that special someone. that, for me, goes against the whole idea of love.

but, i'll use this same post to tell myself that i couldn't be more wrong because, of course, i can't possibly begin to understand what love means to another person.

alasdair
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thumbs_up.jpg
 
good feelings
I like that sick, sad lonely feeling in my stomach. The one that overides all rational thought with "I'm sad but only cuz I'm about to be really happy".

Wait it out. Love is on the horizon. Remember you're worth it. You're someone's dream. Live like someone is waiting to bump into you.
 
Boupstarnm said:
good feelings
I like that sick, sad lonely feeling in my stomach. The one that overides all rational thought with "I'm sad but only cuz I'm about to be really happy".

Wait it out. Love is on the horizon. Remember you're worth it. You're someone's dream. Live like someone is waiting to bump into you.
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Absolutely! Thank you for that! There are divine connections in your destiny. God brings the right people into your life at the right time. You might not even see how it could happen, but He makes a way where we see no way. It's usually when you don't even expect it. :)

That's how my current b/f was brought into my life. I wasn't on any social media or any dating sites, but a divine connection was brought my way. What I said earlier in this thread was out of anger when I was mad at him for something he did and ready to give up. I wasn't quick to forgive and bring love back to our situation. I kept arguing and opening the door to strife instead of letting it go and moving forward. It almost caused me to lose a really good man. We're still together and love each other. He's not perfect and neither am I, but we are stronger together.

Even if a relationship doesn't work out, that door is closed because someone even better is on the way. Please stay encouraged and hopeful. Keep expecting a divine connection. If it happened before, it will happen again. <3
 
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