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Relationships + Drugs This is a vent, and I’m kinda scared.

I

I'm-Still-Alive

Bluelighter
Joined
Apr 17, 2015
Messages
169
Location
New York
So… I may be leaving my boyfriend. We’ve been together nearly a year, but it’s been a rough year. He has made me cut off friends. I can’t wear certain things. He found out I used coke like 2 weeks ago (I’ve only used 2x while in this relationship with him), and he made me sign up for IOP services and sign consent forms so he can call and find out about my urine drug screens. But I’m scared to tell him I’m leaving. I am scared to do this because he has gotten more aggressive over the last month or so. The night I used, he left bruises on me and I pulled muscles in my back and leg trying to get away from him. I don’t know what to do. I’m so scared. My anxiety is through the roof and I just am scared to even tell him. He’s supported me through a lot, so I know he’ll throw that in my face. He’s been telling me if we break up he’ll kill himself. I don’t want that. I’m so fucking scared right now. He can’t do that. What if he does? Then it’s all my fault. I don’t have the money to leave right now anyways. He’s taking my paychecks to pay off his credit cards. He used his credit cards to support us while I was unemployed. I just have to ride it out. I don’t know what to do. This is just a vent. And I really just want to use but I can’t because now I’m in that IOP program that he can call at anytime. So… no point in risking that.
 
Be Safe !!!!

I have to go right now . . . . . but you know what.

Just keep on venting through


. . . . . . and hopefully keep getting the much needed support through this.

Talk To You Later


and I hope that we can walk through this together.


Oh I just read this real quick. k

So real fast. Keep phone charged !!!!

Keep phone close, call 911 if it gets life threatening and even more dangerous at this point.

Secretly pack a bag with important items and documents in case you have to run real fast.
Keep it in a place well hidden and where you also can grab it and go.

Look for some place and some way to find shelter. The safer the better.


Please stay strong and you are better than All of this !!!!!!!!!! k ?!
 
I hope that you can stay safe as safe as possible right now ?! <3<3
 
The things he does or says are not your fault. Don't let him get leverage over you. You are in charge of your life and you are capable of making those decisions for yourself. It sounds like he is becoming increasingly abusive and I hope you can figure out how to get away. Do you have family or friends who support you? They may be able to help. I think there are also women's shelters that specialize in this sort of thing
 
What doesn't he let you wear? Man, i wish my girlfriend would dress skimpier but she's too self conscious (she's got big boobs but she says that big boobs aren't "classy" so she sort of hides them).

Your situation sounds fucked up however. Once you are financially able to, you should leave.

Or hell, just leave now and stay with a friend, then keep your paychecks and let him deal with his own credit card like a grown ass man.
 
negrogesic said:
Or hell, just leave now and stay with a friend
Click to expand...

i know it's really easy to dish out advice from behind a browser but i agree with this.

your initial post is full of red flags.

you're being abused.

your local and state government should have resources to help you right now. which state are you in?

alasdair
 
+1 the emergency backpack, had an ex that was abusive and I'd tried leaving a few times but she threatened suicide aswell. Long story but I had read the backpack thing somewhere and the final time I left I pretty much only got to keep what I'd packed in there as the rest of my stuff got held as ransom in a drawn out argument til I gave up and blocked her haha Chuck your passport, any government documents, photos that kinda shit in there and plan multiple scenarios through in your head and try to work out your best ways to exit the building. If your in the US I believe you can use pepper spray which could be useful if it turns bad. Best of luck and you can do it, the relief when your finally out is incredible haha
 
Oh should probably add chances are the suicide thing is a bluff and cry for attention or emotional manipulation so I'm guessing he's got more tricks up his sleeve, don't fall for them and go back it'll be fine for a little bit but always falls back into the same bs. Some people are incredibly good at being deceptive or saying what you want to hear but not following through with the actions, if he's that controlling about drugs and youve only used twice in a year so obviously do not have an issue at all get the fuck out of there he's only going to get worse!
 
Whaaa waaa waaaaah.

Please make sure he doesn't take you out with him.

It's NOT your fault that he is so miserable. This just proves it to me.

Guaranteed !!!! k

I'll be back.
 
Sorry babe. He's giving me a stomach ache and I don't even know him. I'm just sorry. No one deserves that. No.
4K6hrLx.gif
 
I'm-Still-Alive said:
So… I may be leaving my boyfriend. We’ve been together nearly a year, but it’s been a rough year. He has made me cut off friends. I can’t wear certain things. He found out I used coke like 2 weeks ago (I’ve only used 2x while in this relationship with him), and he made me sign up for IOP services and sign consent forms so he can call and find out about my urine drug screens. But I’m scared to tell him I’m leaving. I am scared to do this because he has gotten more aggressive over the last month or so. The night I used, he left bruises on me and I pulled muscles in my back and leg trying to get away from him. I don’t know what to do. I’m so scared. My anxiety is through the roof and I just am scared to even tell him. He’s supported me through a lot, so I know he’ll throw that in my face. He’s been telling me if we break up he’ll kill himself. I don’t want that. I’m so fucking scared right now. He can’t do that. What if he does? Then it’s all my fault. I don’t have the money to leave right now anyways. He’s taking my paychecks to pay off his credit cards. He used his credit cards to support us while I was unemployed. I just have to ride it out. I don’t know what to do. This is just a vent. And I really just want to use but I can’t because now I’m in that IOP program that he can call at anytime. So… no point in risking that.
Click to expand...
Put his abusive controlling ass in Prison !
It's that simple !
 
Do not chase chemistry over character.

Because chemistry won't wake up at 3am
to console you in your heaviest grief.

Attraction may not choose to love you on
the good days and the bad days.

Sparks stop flying when life becomes
riddled with reality.
 
The guy is a walking bundle of red flags. He's a manipulative control freak, he already has you scared of him (which should not be the case in any remotely healthy relationship), and if he's gotten physical with you, that won't be a one-off. He will escalate the abuse no matter how you try to please him. There's a pattern to how people like him act. Get out NOW for your own good.
 
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