Heroin Thinking of moving on to heroin.

[Lycopene]

K, well here is what I'm observing: many doctors can not put their finger on the exact nature of your pain. Your psychological status indicates you are prone to delusions of persecution along with hallucinations and disabling schizophrenia, you are non-compliant in regard to anti-psychotics to address these symptoms of disease, you are a self-admitted anorexic (which any doc would observe), you are prescribed high dose benzodiazepines for anxiety.

These all preclude a responsible physician from prescribing opiates for chronic pain. That's why no one has done it for you. You say you are looking for an alternative answer and heroin is a last resort, but you are not actually taking every last step to avoid it. Seek help with the anorexia so you can take Geodon or another AP medication with your high calorie meals and get your condition under control. That will relieve a lot of your anxiety so you can taper down to a reasonable level with the benzos, then your patient profile will not scream out red flags for addiction, self-medication and overdose potential to your GP. Those are solid steps in alternative to using heroin to control your pain.

Again, you're completely misunderstanding me. Let me number it out for you.

1: Yes, you are correct, a very large amount of doctors have no clue wtf is wrong with my arm.
2: Not every schizophrenic is prone to delusions of persecution. That is just common. I am under no delusions of "persecution," I simply hallucinate visually and audibly. I am 100% compliant in my antipsychotics. I am not on any UNDER MY DOCTOR'S DISCRETION. SHE is the one who said "no more APs until we can figure out this dystonia and myoclonus. They're not working anyway." I'm very high-functioning.
3: As I said in my previous post, I DO NOT HAVE ANOREXIA NERVOSA. It is CLINICAL anorexia, caused by a MEDICATION. A SIDE-EFFECT, NOT a disease. I do NOT have anorexia nervosa. Food does not sicken me. I am not ashamed by my body. I WANT to eat, I just can't.
4: I am prescribed high dose benzodiazepines for both anxiety AND dystonia. I won't say that again. Dystonia causes muscle stiffening, and Valium is a muscle relaxant. It kills two birds with one stone. Anxiety, and relaxing the muscles in my leg. Why take two medications when I can take one?
5: The only problem is CNS depression, and that can be alleviated by changing dosage times. It's no big deal, I'm sure even you know that. I am seeking help for the anorexia, my medical marijuana card being one of them. (I have gained three pounds from it already).
6: No AP has helped with my anxiety. Klonopin barely did, and I was taking my Xanax bars multiple times a day when I was on that. 40mg diazepam controls my anxiety almost perfectly, as well as alleviates a LOT of the pain in my leg. It's necessary.
7: My GP/PCP, Pysiatrist, Psychiatrist, Dentist AND pain specialist are all aware, and APPROVE of, my benzodiazepine usage.

Now, what about your steps again? They're totally useless, because I eiter can't take them, have taken them, or doctors aren't enabling me to. That or I simply can't.

 

[Fig]

It's the circumlocution. It is tiresome for sure.

 

[shimazu]

might as well try it

 

[Lycopene]

It's the circumlocution. It is tiresome for sure.

Oh be quiet. I'm not circumlocuting anything. I'm talking perfectly fine.

What is with you people and being so bloody rude? BlueHues, I'm not specifically asking you for help. You don't need to read and/or reply to these posts. I'm trying to make myself clear because you people can't seem to understand what I'm saying.

@ shimazu

I will, if I can't get a doctor to prescribe me something legally.

 

[shimazu]

im just saying if its between killing yourself and trying it you at least know where one will defintely lead

 

[Lycopene]

im just saying if its between killing yourself and trying it you at least know where one will defintely lead

I knew what you meant. And that's what I said I'm going to try. If a doctor won't prescribe me something to help, I will take heroin. If that kills me, so be it. I'd rather have a single day pain-free than another 60+ years in a living hell.

 

[Fig]

Sorry, I'm just going to go ahead and say, as a Harvard trained clinical psychiatrist, that you exhibit a multitude of signs pointing to delusions of persecution. In fact this entire thread is evidence of that. But I suspect you know this, because your perseverations are indicative of self-awareness in that regard.

The anorexia you describe, regardless of origin, is nonetheless anorexia however you color it. There is no resolution to your issue without dealing with that and becoming compliant with a regimen appropriate to your condition. Until you do, no doctor will prescribe opiates to control your pain because no doctor will believe that you aren't trying to self medicate, get high or that your symptoms are not a product of uncontrolled and unmedicated schizophrenia.

 

[Lycopene]

Sorry, I'm just going to go ahead and say that, as a Harvard trained clinical psychiatrist, you exhibit a multitude of signs pointing to delusions of persecution. In fact this entire thread is evidence of that. But I suspect you know this, because your perseverations are indicative of self-awareness in that regard.

The anorexia you describe, regardless of origin, is nonetheless anorexia however you color it. There is no resolution to your issue without dealing with that and becoming compliant with a regimen appropriate to your condition. Until you do, no doctor will prescribe opiates to control your pain because no doctor will believe that you aren't trying to self medicate, get high or that your symptoms are not a product of uncontrolled and unmedicated schizophrenia.

The schizophrenia symptoms first started at 17. Medical records regarding my pain date back farther than that. It has nothing to do with schizophrenia.

And, if you actually ARE a Harvard-trained clinical psychiatrist, then you'd know all about the MCAT. How long did it take you? What score did you get? I took it. Like I said, I was going to be a psychiatrist too.

I don't care what you say. You're acting foolish. You're going out of a book and nothing more. Just because I exhibit "a multitude of signs points to delusions of persecution" doesn't mean I am delusional. You are all accusing me drug seeking, hence my being persecuted. That is not a delusion.

The anorexia I describe is a SIDE-EFFECT. I have been off of the medication for about a year now and it is still here, therefore TARDIVE (I'm sure you know that term, right?). It is not -nervosa, that is very clear. I love food, I just get very sick when trying to eat it. I have IBS too, so it takes my gut a LONG time to get back to normal, even after a simple stomach flu. This, however, is going to take AGES. It is not something that needs to be "dealt with" before I'm prescribed opiates, as it isn't causing anything bad except weight loss.

My psychiatrist knows for a fact that my symptoms aren't a product of "uncontrolled and unmedicated schizophrenia." I'm smart, my psychiatrist knows that, and she gives me the benefit of the doubt. Sadly, the clinic's psychiatrist I go to cannot prescribe opiates, otherwise she would prescribe them to me. Words from her mouth.

Now, instead of accusing me of doing something I am not, let's get back on the topic at hand, yes?

 

[Fig]

Unless your clinical psychiatrist has a Board action against, barring prescriptions for narcotics, they can write whatever they deem medically necessary including opiates. Many psychiatrists utilize opiates in their daily practice. If your doctor is telling you that, they are letting you down easy because you are drug seeking and/or they know your status precludes opioid therapy. The three issues I describe above (uncontrolled schizophrenia, anorexia, and high dose benzos) preclude you form opioid therapy because a) anorexia is contraindicated b) uncontrolled schizophrenia is contraindicated and c) high dose benzos are contraindicated. I can not be more clear than that. Those reasons, along with your delusions of persecution which seemingly fuel the perseverations about opiates, rule it out completely. If you truly have pain and want to resolve it with legitimate opioid therapy, you must do the work required to resolve those three issues. If you are unwilling to so this work, then you are effectively admitting that all you want is access to drugs. You can't say you have exhausted all options and only heroin is left standing, because here is your best option and you dismiss it out of hand. But you know all of this, you just can not admit it here because you have taken this too far to turn around. Please reconsider.

 

[Lycopene]

I believe I am done dealing with you. First, you didn't back up your supposed profession with proof (simple proof; details of the MCAT that you should intimately know) and second, you still refuse to listen to a single word I say.

My CLINIC has an ACTUAL RESTRICTION on opiates. It is a community mental health clinic, where a lot of recovering addicts (and Medicaid patients) have to go. They WILL NOT and CANNOT prescribe them. Now please stop replying unless you have something useful to say. You are wrong. Realize that.

(Not in saying that heroin is bad; you are very right there. I AM reconsidering. That is the whole reason why I came here).

 

[Fig]

I believe you would continue to respond to my posts as long as I made them. I don't think you can help it. Whether or not you say you believe me is immaterial. What matters is that I wrote what I did in the interest of harm reduction and in the hope some of it will stick with you when you make your next appointment.

Anyone can make up admissions scores to "prove" they went to medical school. Teh Google will provide for that. Instead, ask yourself this: if what I wrote really came "out of a book", how was it all so tailored to your situation? Have they written chapters about you? There is a difference between blustering bullshit and learned knowledge. You might take a moment to examine,that difference, because in THAT score, you are barely passing.

Have a safe night. Don't take heroin to self medicate. It will only make matters worse. PM me if you have any questions.



Fig

 

[johannes kreisler]

Fig, I'm 99% sure you are right. I (trained psychologist ) had the exact same impression just upon reading the opening post...

OP: no one doubts you are in pain. and no one doubts that it is unbearable for you. but I strongly suggest that you seek psychological and psychiatric help. if you proceed "medicating" the pain you feel it will get worse and worse. the pain as well as your overall condition. you need the tackle the root of your pain. the pain is one symptom of many.
best practice - I don't know if this is possible for you - would be a clinic specialized in treating psychosomatic pain.

 

[BurnedMan]

I suggest you switch doctors. Find a good one, a pain management doc or clinic. Have them prescribe you a long half-life opiate like methadone or fentanyl patches. They will help with your pain but expect no high/euphoria and try not to abuse them. H is a more potent but less pure (street H) of morphine, not to mention it doesn't have a long HL so I would not recommend it. You will start chasimg the euphoria and one dose a day would not keep you pain free all day. So you will start dosing twice a day and then you will become addicted, and I'm sure you know how H addiction is...

 

[Mr.Scagnattie]

This thread is getting nuts. The same things are being said over and over again and apparently the message just isn't getting through..

Nobody here in good conscience can recommend heroin as a means of self-medicating diagnosed pain... it's that simple, and anybody who does, is giving out advice contrary to HR and that's not what we do here.

OP, you've been told the facts over and over. If you still, despite everything we've said, want to go out of your way to become a heroin addict, well we're not going to be a part of helping you destroy your life.

I'm closing this. PM me for more info.