When I think, my thoughts go to reminiscing pretty quickly. I have to admit, even though I feel like I'm on the cusp of a new life, I just think back all the time, to being a kid, man. That was the shit. Fuck this other shit, fucking people over, trying to gain money, land, wealth, power - I don't much care for it.
But, then again, I want to 'make' something of myself. I mean, I suppose I do.
Then I think ahead, to what I could do and what I could have, and it doesn't seem to be very meaningful. I remember when I was 10 or so very vividly, that I thought I would just be the shit when I got, say, 20 or 30 years down the road.
I guess I could still be that way to other people, but, now, I don't know, it just seems like the same shit is going to keep happening whatever the case, and then my parents will die and I'll just be left with the rest of the family that is still going on and kicking.
And simultaneously, I'm just thinking, and writing, then going back to thinking, reminiscing while trying to predict and realizing I really don't know nor care what's up, sometimes. But, having that thought, and thinking about it, you could say that I care so much that I don't want to admit it. I do just want to wake up, but into another dream, again? That would suck, I want to get it over with now, not suicide, obviously, but just the what's up part about all of this.
Lol, this is my first blog post. I smoke pot now and then but that's about it. I'm just talking about life in general. Peace out.
But, then again, I want to 'make' something of myself. I mean, I suppose I do.
Then I think ahead, to what I could do and what I could have, and it doesn't seem to be very meaningful. I remember when I was 10 or so very vividly, that I thought I would just be the shit when I got, say, 20 or 30 years down the road.
I guess I could still be that way to other people, but, now, I don't know, it just seems like the same shit is going to keep happening whatever the case, and then my parents will die and I'll just be left with the rest of the family that is still going on and kicking.
And simultaneously, I'm just thinking, and writing, then going back to thinking, reminiscing while trying to predict and realizing I really don't know nor care what's up, sometimes. But, having that thought, and thinking about it, you could say that I care so much that I don't want to admit it. I do just want to wake up, but into another dream, again? That would suck, I want to get it over with now, not suicide, obviously, but just the what's up part about all of this.
Lol, this is my first blog post. I smoke pot now and then but that's about it. I'm just talking about life in general. Peace out.
