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Thinking about smack

Hellfiregurl

Bluelighter
Joined
Sep 17, 2001
Messages
128
Hey this is for heroin users, mainly those who IV.
Do you ever look at other peoples veins and think "Nice veins"?
Do you ever seek out music written by addicts?
Do you ever watch specials about Billie Holiday or other VH1 specials just because dope's involved?
I ask these things because these are thoughts I've had. So come on, anything strange thoughts pop in to your head?
 
hello- i find that i only noticed everything remotely related to heroin after i stopped using it (or rather since i have been taking a break, im sure ill be back). music written by addicts? im not sure if i seek it out, but i notice the small references in the lyrics now. recently i discovered the velvet underground, that band manages to create the joy and lifestyle of heroin addicts quite well. also, pink floyd's the wall. anyway, the admittedly dumb thing that drove me crazy when i was going through withdraw were the signs for the hospitals. a big H with an arrow. what a cruel, cruel sign...
[ 19 February 2002: Message edited by: staind rose ]
 
Of course. It's a constant life infatuation. I've only been IVing for a like a month and a half and even spoons catch my eye. It's hard not to be reminded of dope, as it's shadow seems to be lingering everywhere in life.
And yes, I do catch myself admiring the veins of others. I myself don't have very prominent veins and I wish I had the veins of that crazy guy on 'roids with the funny doo-rag. But hey, you can't have everything right?
 
Well, I haven't done smack yet, but I've IVed other stuff, and I love needles and veins.
I most definitely notice nice/bulging veins on others.
I've also developed quite a fetish for men who have nice veins....nothing makes me wetter these days than a man with a well-developed vasculature....mmmmm.
[ 19 February 2002: Message edited by: fairnymph ]
 
Hey this is for heroin users, mainly those who IV.
Do you ever look at other peoples veins and think "Nice veins"?
Yes.
Do you ever seek out music written by addicts?
Yes.
Do you ever watch specials about Billie Holiday or other VH1 specials just because dope's involved?
Yes. And let me tell you how much crap my girlfriend gives me because I always want to watch shows or movies that are focused on drugs.
I ask these things because these are thoughts I've had. So come on, anything strange thoughts pop in to your head?
I've been drug obsessed since I was 15. I have always sought out information about drug users or the stories from drug users. I really can't explain it, but I've been fascinated with altered states ever since I figured out that there was a connection between good music and musicians who used drugs and I found out some of my friends had begun using. For me, I see drugs as just one means of understanding how our species works.
 
Yes to to of the above.
I havn't stuck a needle into my viens in amost 3 months & I am definatley obssessed, I got so excited when the Sublime behind the music thing was on!
I read lots of drug books (just finished Permanent Midnight), Just last night I rented Drugstore Cowboy, I think of it as porn for drug users, well, smack users really.
Has anyone ever heard Egale-eye Cherrys' first album, it's so bizzare, it's jam packed with not-so-subltle drug references, like there's even a song that is called 'shooting up in vein'(i think thats the title. Thing is though I first heard it in this cafe I was working at, i was like "what the fuck? is anyone else HEARING THIS?" I had exiled myself from opiates at that point & was in a small country town so perhaps I was noticing everything more as staind rose mentioned.
Man that album used to drive me crazy.
[ 19 February 2002: Message edited by: *kell* ]
 
Originally posted by SovietContin:
I've been drug obsessed since I was 15. I have always sought out information about drug users or the stories from drug users. I really can't explain it, but I've been fascinated with altered states ever since I figured out that there was a connection between good music and musicians who used drugs and I found out some of my friends had begun using. For me, I see drugs as just one means of understanding how our species works.
I've finally found somebody who thinks the same way as me when it comes to drug use. Sometimes my friends get a little pissed off because I might talk about drugs a little too much.
 
^^^^^^^^^^^^Avgerage Whiteboy
Yo man, you and Soviet aren't alone. I would say the majority of us on this board share interests very comparable to yours. While I don't feel comfortable confessing to most people I know IRL that drugs are my obsession, I know that people here won't give me shit about it.
Know your substances and know them well. There is never such a thing as over-education.
Drugs have influenced all aspects of my life from my friends, to the music I listen to, the movies I watch, to the books I read. These things can't be helped. Most of us here are full blown drug ENTHUSIASTS, if we could weild NRA type cards for drug-lovin we most certainly would. Fuck I bet there even are cards for that.
If not, let's make some dammit!
 
I spend most of my free time reading up on drugs on erowid and here. I guess i am slightly obsessed. I jsut want to be prepared for all possibilities :)
Never injected anything though, i am sure i will eventuall though.
[ 19 February 2002: Message edited by: hedtwin ]
 
yea i also notice a lot of things related to dope, i guess it cause u just pay that more much attention to such things when u are using ...
yea music too i guess..
the last one i downloaded was H from Tool :)
 
I'm not denying the possibility that drugs can overshadow other, sometimes more productive things in life. When I notice someone or something that I unconsciously recognize as having to do with drugs: ...oh...anything...and more nowadays everything...:
"We keep America rolling"
"Every kiss begins with K"
"Like a rock" (mmmmm)
...I consciously block it out... I guess that's the place I am in my life...seeking a workable balance. Not wanting to get wrapped up in drugs, cause "they are bad" and "just say no", to whatever extent those are applicable. But not wanting to fight on the Nazi's side of a modern war on freedom. I do not give a shit more about a guy if he did heroin or not if he's, say a musician, or a suicide bomber.
I do, however, find myself dipping into a healthy (unhealthy) quasi-obsession with veins and penetrating them with hollow steel tubes...and then the variable... I find the urge to to take a 29 and simply perform the ritual just so I can have a alienated milliliter of my blood to draw with or mix or whatever. Of course, I would prefer to insert into those poor veins something nice... hHCl, Dilaudid...OC... hmm..even nubain...maybe.
blah blah blah
all you insomniac people... leave me to watch Hannibal already...
 
sort of off topic, *Kell*'s post reminded me of it, but if you like books on smack read "diary of a dope feind" by Aleister Crowley is pretty good..........um it might actually be "diary of a drug feind"Im not too sure.
 
blahblahblah- Wow I never realized its when I'm sober that I think those things. Hmm I don't recall thinking like that while I was high. Interesting.
 
Hahahaha! Yes, I definitly notice other peoples veins - and often comment on it to those I am with.. like if you ever see power-weight lifting on ESPN2, they lift those weights and you can see these monster pipes just buldging, screeming for a needle....
I also notice refrences to dope related things .. I don't watch VH1 anymore but I remember the "Behind the Music" - basically if you have seen one you have seen them all... it would seem that EVERY professional musician "developed an addiction to prescription painkillers he recieved after an auto accident in North Hollywood" .. after the next commercial break an ex-girlfriend is sitting there talking about how "his drug use spun out of control, it consumed him, thats all he thought about" .. the narrator comes on an tells about siad musicians heroin use and they show an image of a burnt spoon, a candle, a belt, and most often the WRONG TYPE OF SYRINGE WHICH MAKES ME YELL RACIAL SLURS AT THE TV EVEN THOUGH RACIAL SLURS HAVE NPOTHING TO DO WITH IT!! GOD DAMNIT YOU SHOOT SMACK THROUGH A 29G OR 28G INSULIN SYRINGE AND IT'S NEVER MORE THEN 1CC, YOU DON'T FUCKING BOOT UP WITH A 23G SYRINGE WITH LIKE A 7CC BARREL AND A DETACHABLE NEEDLE!!! CAN'T THEY FUCKING IRON OUT A SIMPLE LITTLE DETAIL LIKE THAT? IS IT SO HARD? WHY DO THEY SHOW DISRESPECT FOR OUR GOOD FATHER SMACK? ..
 
i am a new person to the world of narcotics and i can say yes to all of your questions. i have a lot of respect(or what others would call fear) of herion because it is so new and so addicting to me. becuase of this respect i am carefull about my use. in this monitering of my addiction i have noticed that absolutely anything having to do with herion excites me. i have been asking about injecting different drugs all day. in hopes i will find something at least almost as injoyable to inject as herion, because it is so hard to find decent grade "BOY" as they call it here in Dayton,OH. the only way i have been able to guess with any accuracy is by if it is rock or powder. it usally seems cut and less potent if its powder. but thats getting of track. i just wanted to tell you that you are not alone. if you have something else you would like to share or offer some addvice reply here.
your fellow addict
 
As soon as you start doing IV and look at your viens you automaticly just look at other peoples to see what there ones look like. It is just natural.
 
when i first got mag wheels on my car i suddenly looked around and realised hardly anyone has standard tyres.
and certainly yes to the first question... but i assume thats a given.
i hate most music with lyrics... i cant stand the pompus song writer trying to impose his/her views on the world.
i try to catch all the print and film media portrails of drugs... but most of the time im dissappointed by the content.
 
It's amazing how much the positive reinforcement of opioid use spreads to not just the drug itself but all the little stimuli surrounding it, however odd they may be...
The pleasure system of the NA in the VTA always links a higher level cognitive behavior with the basic lower level pleasure - to reinforce behavior that would increase survival chances of the organism. The stronger the positive feedback, the more the thought and associations with the actions surrounding it defy reason... Over time it seems this leads to our favorite classic situations, like the dope fiend's heart jumping up 40BPM when he sees that special color orange...
Sometimes in my dreams, whenever I smell or taste something with that sort of bittersweet soapy scent of a crushed up OxyContin hitting the back of your throat, my eyes get all watery and I can't help grinning like a maniac.
Anybody else know that taste I am describing?
 
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