Think I've overdone the clonazepam a bit

[manicmama]

Sorry, I've not been about a while, managed to quit amphetamine and spiralled into depression.
I always had a reluctance to take my scripted 0.5 - 2mg daily clonazepam for fear of addiction.
Somehow I am now regularly taking 1mg a night, sometimes 2mg and rarely 3mg.
I have had a bad few weeks with my alleged bipolar (though I reckon it's more BPD).
Anyway, to the point, bad few days, almost mental breakdown today over nothing rational, I asked my Mum to mind baby a few days and arriving home 5.30pm GMT I took 3mg in the hopes of knockout.
10 mins later the crazy took over and I caned another 3 (oral).
Half hour later I popped 6mg sublingually.
Rather than oblivion, I am at 9.20pm GMT relaxed, happy, sociable, chilling to music and occassionally dancing and singing randomly.
I'm aware 12mg is not a good dose to take, it was a silly impulsive decision.
Worryingly I want to take more, I have 18mg in my cupboard - though well aware I would be in for harsh WD if I cane my stash as does not get filled for 4 more weeks.
I feel really good ATM, despite oblivion was what I was after - is this a usual reaction at this dose?
Have I been an utter moron and this is the good before the bad? Have I endangered myself - I wanted oblivion not death.
I feel a fool, yet am still tempted to pop a few more

If this is in wrong place apologies, please could mod move to appropriate place x

 

[F1n1shed]

Do NOT pop more, that is a shit load of clonazepam. You won't die , but stop popping pills. You might wake up feeling really spacey and groggy, and in some withdrawal. So you may need to take .5mg-1mg tomorrow to counter the hang over.

Save your pills.

 

[manicmama]

Boyfriends due home in 2 hours, I think I'll just try and stay away from the stash til then and get him to hold them.
Hopefully I'll crash soon.
Thanks.

 

[scottdot]

How are you not tired? That's amazing. Don't pop more. Save them for the comedown and for anxiety maintenance.

 

[manicmama]

I have no idea I was expecting to be crashed out hours ago - the rare occassion I take 3mg I'm snoring in an hour - tonight I am just chilled and buzzing and pretty freaked tbh as to why? They're scripted from pharmacy so I know they are defo clonazepam - got a bad feeling when the high finishes I'm gonna crash and feel like crap when I wake. ATM I just wanna party. I took them alone, no other drugs legal or otherwise and no alcohol.

 

[scottdot]

Perhaps it's a mania state related to your bpd and unrelated to the ks. Or, inanely high amounts of benzos induce media? I would have to research.

Be safe.

 

[manicmama]

Well I sure as hell ain't taking no more and just enjoying my unexpected turn of events - ill be sure to post when comedown hits and will make an interesting convo with my shrink, though certain my meds will have to be 'held' for me once again. Thanks for the voice of reason both of you.

 

[T. Calderone]

You took a lot and it probably hasn't fully hit you yet. I imagine yes, you will be groggy tomorrow.
You seemed overwhelmed and that a reckless thing to do. Do you have a counselor you can talk to?

edit - Nevermind, I see you have a psych doctor, definitely talk this out.

 

[manicmama]

I think I'm gonna call emergency duty team. I ain't right - funny how a fuck up makes you have a wee moment of clarity.
Cheers again for the advice all x

 

[manicmama]

Just to let you all know - I finally crashed about 1am, woke at 8am slightly groggy and felt dandy by 9am - I have an emergency psych appt this afternoon - I think mania coincided with my stupid kpin consumption and is pretty much overriding the effects it should be having on me - probably a good thing, I dunno. Anyway. Thanks for the advice last night.