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Think it's time.

zero9zero

Bluelighter
Joined
Jun 26, 2000
Messages
2,200
Location
nati
I think it's time for me
To bid farewell to this scene
I've dedicated the past four years
Of my life to.
I'm tired of being pissed off
At shadiness and underhanded acts
Tired of constantly being stabbed in the back
And seeing others hurt
I'm just tired.
I think it's time for me
To move on, grow up
Be an important piece
In this puzzle we call society.
I'm tired of standing still
With my arms folded, scowling
Waiting for the beats
To put my arms and legs
Into motion.
I think it's time,
I stop abusing my body
Abusing my mind
Abusing my emotions
I'm giving up this love
And taking a new interest
In myself.
In the past four years,
I've made more lasting friendships,
More empty relationships,
And more enemies than I ever thought possible.
I've given my heart and soul one too many times,
Compared to what I've gotten in return.
I think it's time for me,
To say goodbye to the random strangers I've encountered
And hold onto those I've grown to love.
The movement, progression,
Drum and bass music will always
Hold a very special place in my heart,
And will always be an important part
Of my life.
My hands will feel the familiar warmth
Of circulating vinyl, and the cool,
Rigid plastic of a crossfader
For a long time to come.
Every now and again,
My face will be seen at a party,
My frown replaced with a smile,
My mind filled with warm memories.
But for now,
It's time to say goodbye
To this hobby that became a habit,
That became an occupation.
"You burned yourself out, kid."
I think it's time for me
To cool down.
090
8/13/01
 
very nice.
smile.gif
 
yeah, i'd have to say that's about perfect.
actually, i can't even think of a comment.
describes me exactly, and i've probably even said most of that.
yeah, i'm a burnout. and bitter beyond comprehension. about everything.
absolutely everything.
and what have i gotten out of 4 years of raving? nothing.
just the privelege of watching everyone else succeed, literally everyone, and watching it continue to amaze me with manifestations of its decline.
what was once, as someone once said, something more beautiful than you could possibly imagine, is now a mere exercise in futility, a game, being played to show me how bad things are, and prove they can and will get worse.
it is the slow and deliberate wasting of life;
because after this, there can be nothing.
 
very great that you could write it all down. Good luck.
------------------
"On your planet, 1+1=2; On our planet, 1+1=1." - Ceiba
 
i like your work..it describes me perfectLy..except it hasnt been for 4 years! but its all good.. i think life is just full of phases and then we reminisce the past about it...cherish the time you have..you only have one life to live...
 
if it hasn't been a long time, you don't know what it's like. =P
raving is brutal.
 
And you can finally let go of another phase of your life. We learn so many lessons here that will still be with us in the future.... good, bad, they were taught to us with and without our permission.
Good luck in whatever path you choose my friend, and may you always find a "society" that you speak of that is brilliant enough to deserve the presence of your mind.
smile.gif
 
Bravo! my friend.
On a personal note:
I still have one foot in the door. I've been in this for 8 years. I've been to few parties in the last five years, no drugs for six years. Yet, I can't let go of it just yet. (Not that I have to) I love the music, drum n bass specifically. I buy records like they're about to be rationed. I spin. I listen to music constantly. I still feel like a child for it, but I also know I carry some responsibility to the younger kids out there. That I know what it used to be like and what it's (pretty much) like now. I know the history and I'm in it for the love the music. Sometimes though I feel I should sell it all, and get beyond it for whatever reason....maybe the stigma of being in the scene. I don't know. I'm still going to spin tonight in my basement by myself enjoying the music immensely.
------------------
"Each new hour holds new chances for new beginnings, the Horizon leans forward offering space to place new steps of change"-Maya Angelou
 
I've given my heart and soul one too many times,
Compared to what I've gotten in return.
i know this feeling.
I think it's time for me,
To say goodbye to the random strangers I've encountered
And hold onto those I've grown to love.
god this piece really hit home. you described a feeling i've had for years but could never admit to. all these things that you mentioned are things i once held to the highest standard... and they are not even close anymore.
my friend, you brave to venture from this haven we call "the underground"... the place society shuns... and to join --society. take with you all the wonderful things you found here, and make "society" something better.
best of luck to you.
------------------
E-girl
IM: tiggersgurl2067
"...there are 2 paths, you can go back, but in the long run... there's still time to change the road you're on..."
 
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