things go from bad to worse?

[crewdave]

I was hurt awhile back anyway long story short I'm addicted to pain killers unreal it seems I take anything I can get my hands on and a lot of it more in a day than most people I know 2 or 3 oxy 80's and couple 100's of morphine I took methadone for a week last week and I think that's why I'm not feeling anything.... but that's the point I been clean for 2 days it isn't much I'm worried that I'm going to move on too something harder and worse off basically I need some help direction or something like that I just wanna get off em but its so hard I can't feel anything unless its strong I barely can even muster up the energy to shower... I work construction its hard work how long does it take to feel normal?

 

[tiddy]

Sounds like you just built yourself a massive tolerance to opiates.. If you find it hard to just stop i would seek out a suboxone doctor and just be honest about your situation. I know its not the ideal thing to be doing, but if you have to go to work at a physical job any form of wd is going to mess that up, or atleast make it really hard to struggle through.

 

[BlueStar13]

The hardest step in getting clean is wanting to get clean for yourself, and it seems that you have that desire. My first question to you is do you have a steady supply of oxy/morphine? If you do, you could attempt attempt to taper off those drugs by establishing a baseline dose and every few days decreasing the amount that you take. If you don't then suboxone or methadone are probably your best options. Personally, I would recommend trying Suboxone first as coming of it is easier than methadone. Good luck.

 

[Bman2]

Don't be taking methadone if you don't want a long withdrawal. If you haven't already built up a tolerance to that, you're looking at a 3-6 day withdrawal for oxy. Probably a week for you to really feel back to normal physically. As far as moving on to something harder, just don't. Heroin is such a habitual nightmare, and I never actually got the same high as I did from my oxy days(except maybe the first few times). Because of your tolerance, you're basically at a crossroads where your either going to move on to something harder, or ween down on the oxy. Sounds like you're already taking a step in the right direction if your day 2 clean. Give yourself another couple of days and you should start noticing a big improvement.

 

[crewdave]

See the thing that scared me was that I was reading forums like this not this site but other ones and they were talking 3 to 9 months and some were still having WD symptoms and I just can't have that I made a huge mistake even starting them but work is almost impossible without them and my tolerance is built up to a point to where I cannot feel anything and I'm not joking nothing one day I took 16 vikes 2 80 oxys and 3 100 morphines and I was fine and that ain't normal it just ain't I was 240 lbs and down to 195 now that's just over that last few months that I noticed it at least I just am sick and tired of being sick and tired its like I take em to feel normal now if I don't take em I can't sleep I have constant cold sweets zero energy and stomach issues I appriciate the feedback but basically what everyone is saying is to wait it out. Right? Which is impossible for me in my line of work I'll lose my job I think that might be what it takes I caved just since posting this earlier and took 8 of the 30 mg's so I could go finish a job well 8 and 5 of the 15 ir's morphine that is.. and nothing I got nothing everyone keeps telling me its the methadone I took because I did take methadone for about a week and stopped about 4 days ago well I blew it on my recovery charge but I can't help it. Its like I cannot function without them and I have no idea how to find a sub doctor wouldn't know whereto look all in all I feel defeated and depressed I'm only 28 but feel like I'm 60 I dunno what to do guys I just don't.

 

[tiddy]

are you in the US? try this http://www.suboxone.com/treatment-plan/find-a-doctor?gclid=CMf1s8DHk7wCFTJp7AodoGIAZg

its nothing you cant handle man, i kno it feels hopeless but in reality there are things you can do to minimize the pain/suffering. 3-9 months sounds more like PAWS to me (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Post-acute-withdrawal_syndrome), no opiate will take that long to clear your system, maybee, jusst maybeee methadone but after a few months youd be fine (physically atleast) Sounds like suboxone would be right up your ally , but even that comes with WD side effects if youre not willing to taper down and get off them ASAP. Keep your head up, i kno it can be scary but things arnt always as bad as they seem.

 

[missmeyet?]

Hey there, no offense, but please use punctuation or something in your posts as they are VERY hard to read easily.

Secondly, what you are experiencing is simply physical dependence and tolerance. I noticed that only a few months ago you were only taking a couple of morphines at a time and now you have pretty quickly worked your way up to this. From what I can understand from your post there were a couple of questions that you were asking. First, yes, methadone will block the "feel good" feelings of your other opiates/opioids for a pretty good bit. So there is a good chance that is why you are not feeling great from them. I am going through the same thing right now from a dose of bupe I took 2 days ago.

Also, feeling like shit is you withdrawing from opiates/opioids, period, whether it is the methadone or the other stuff...they are all opiates and when you stop taking them you will experience withdraws. When you are seeing people talk about having withdrawals for months afterwards they are talking about PAWS, which is more a psychological withdrawal (depression, no energy, cravings, tiredness etc) than the acute, being so sick, cant physically function withdrawals that you are experiencing right now. The ones you are having now should last anywhere from 4 or 5 days or up to maybe 10 days due to taking the methadone. It is a little different for every person.

You only have a few options (cause I notice you keep saying that it is not possible for you to go through this because of work and all). You either stop taking the drugs and go through the withdrawals. You can keep taking the drugs and not have the withdrawals. You can do like a few people suggested and get put on some type of maintenance program, either with subs or methadone. Everyones experience on maintenance drugs differ but it will, for the most part, keep away the crappy feelings but you will not experience that "great" feeling or being high like you do with oxy and such now. If you continue on with the meds you are taking right now, your tolerance is just going to continue to grow (especially considering how quickly you raised your doses since September).

If you have any other questions please ask. If we are not understanding exactly what you are wanting to know please tell us so that hopefully we can help.

 

[Bman2]

I'm just going to tell you what I would do in your situation: First off, ween yourself down on the oxy a little bit. Taper yourself down to where you just need 20mg or less to feel normal. You could do this over a couple weeks or a month. Then I would switch to kratom for a week or two. So by doing this, you've lowered the severity of the withdrawal you're going to go through & have time to prepare yourself mentally while still functioning at work in the meantime. When you do quit everything, I would use clonodine(requires script but isn't overly hard to find), loperamide aka Imodium(tapered off over a week starting at 40mg), cannabis, & vitamin b supplement. There's other OTC meds that can help too if you want to google-otc meds for opiate withdrawal. I would chart out a timeline on how your going to do all this, so you know which week you're going to begin the cold turkey. Once you have it charted out, talk to your work and see about taking that week off when you're going to be going cold turkey. Or maybe ask for wed-friday off then you can utilize the weekend too and give yourself 5 days to recover(assuming you work a standard schedule. if not, you'll just have to figure it out). You can go the suboxone route, but if you really want your life back in a timely manner, I would just do what I suggested. A lot of doctors will just prescribe subs, tell you what to do & leave it in the addicts hands to actually follow through correctly, which rarely happens(and almost never happens if you try to mix in oxy between taking the sub). The penalty to abusing suboxone is a lot worse in terms of withdrawal duration, you're looking at a 3-8 week withdrawal(I'm going through it now). You can get pretty high on suboxone in high doses. I know some people will beg to differ, but it definitely gives a buzz and that's why I'm pretty much against it unless you have daily regulation of the medication, meaning you're going in to the sub place every morning to take your dose that they administer. At least if you abuse the oxy during my proposed taper idea, you're just going to lose your progress on the taper. Like I said, the penalty for abusing sub would be worse than that and add to your problems. Also, I'm not entirely confident that your withdrawal free coming off a sub taper. Most people tell me they still experience a mild withdrawal, which seems like a lot of work, time, and money to still deal with that. So I would say to try what I proposed. If you can't muster the self-control to do it, find a suboxone place that will check you in every morning and give you your dose.

 

[bunnymunro]

I never realised that lack of punctuation or format was indicative of opiate dependence :/

 

[missmeyet?]

Hmm, I dont think it is, but it damn sure makes it hard to read what he is trying to say.
Not sure why that wouldnt have been clear from what I said in my post.

 

[crewdave]

I'm sorry, but the last thing I'm worried about is punctuation... I'm gonna try the taper I guess

 

[Stargazer]

Missmeyet isn't being mean about punctuation. We want to understand everything you're saying, and not miss anything. It's difficult to read when things aren't broken down into paragraphs. And pauses aren't put in between sentences. I'm loving this post. I'm in a similar situation as crewdave. I feel hopeless and overwhelmed...to the point of continual panic attacks. The first comfort I've felt, in a long time is when I read what tiddy said to crewdave...that there is a way out.

Damn, Bman2, that is good advice. I wish I could print it out. Getting mentally prepared is huge. And yes, getting the w/d symptoms down from agonizing. I go into severe w/d.. I've been on opiates for a long time. I can't feel them when I take them, but I can feel when I don't.

I've been at the same crossroads.. and got horrible advice from so-called counselors. crewdave, do what it good for you. You obviously can't afford to lose your job, as that would make things worse. I think slowing down, take a breath, read what everyone is saying....having a plan, writing it out on a calander, etc.

What is clonidine? I have seen it mentioned. Someone said it helps w the hot/cold flashes, which I hate. What mg. do you take, etc?

Also, how long do you have to wait after your last dose of opiates to start suboxone? How sick to you have to be to not go into "precipated withdrawal"? My husband was to the sneezing stage of withdrawal, and not knowing much about sub, I think put the strip under his tongue...and his withdrawal rapidly progressed to worse and worse...he took about 15 30mg instant release morphine to be ok again. Thank God he had them...I was thinking about suboxone myself.

Thanks for this post.