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These heorin dreams are driving me crazy

Molly29

Molly29

Greenlighter
Joined
May 24, 2014
Messages
17
Location
Wack ass Tucson AZ
8( Recently I've kicked black, its the hardest thing I've ever done. I have been off since March 13th 2014 and I've been having these dreams about heroin. It seems like its always on my mind. I hate the fact that's all I can think about. I don't have much to say and I'm not going to express how much it ruined my life because I'm sure there are a million stories out there and everyone always has it worse. But these dreams make me feel like I just smoked again. I wake up in a good mood thinking there is a tray waiting by my bedside and the second I come to reality I feel as if I'm getting dope sick all over again.
How long are these dreams going to last and is there anyone else out there that has them as well? I feel like such a bad person because of these dreams I feel like I let everyone down just on account of these stupid dreams. My biggest fear is going back but that's also my biggest desire right now! :X8(:X8(:?:?:?
 
Hey molly and welcome to BL:)

Congratulations on getting and staying clean.. amazing accomplishment:)<3

I get them as well.. never get to use in them, something always goes wrong.

I think they are just more manipulation from the subconscious to try and get us to use. I just kinda laugh now at them and keep track of how many ways my mind can come up with for not allowing me to use in my dream.

they get allot less frequent as time goes by.. I just had one two nights ago but that was the first in many months. I think as time goes on they can be a good warning for us to look at where we are in the cycle of addiction and make any changes to our recovery plan to address any progression down the tubes. But in early recovery they are just another thing to deal with. They aren't real so throw any emotion that comes from them away of some cliff.

Here is kinda a cool thread about The Brain and Addiction

Think I will delave into whats up with dreams and see whats going on here.

Your doing great.. keep at it=D
 
It takes some time before the dreams lesson a bit. Look at it this way, during your day you are making an active effort not to use and suppressing that urge. At night, when you are sleeping, your subconscious mind takes over.

It can't be helped, it's a mind fuck for sure. I've been clean from drugs almost three years and once in a while I still have using dreams. But for whatever reason, something prevents me from ingesting the drugs. I wake up pissed too. Two months is great! You can do this! :)
 
Thank you I appreciate that. Ive never touched drugs in my life until Sept 30th last year and the first thing I was introduced to was heroin so ive never had an addiction in my life and this is the hardest thing ive ever gone threw. I don't know where to turn to or who I can talk to I feel like im alone. I cant go in public with out being self conscious about myself. I appreciate your reply its great to know that im not the only one having these dreams, and recovery plan? I haven't even thought about that part I didn't know there was a plan for it infact I just recently learned there were meds for the withdrawals so I just got off cold turkey and only because I went to jail for 13 days )again long story) while I was jail I learned a little more about the mess I got myself into and what I was about to deal with. Any advise or resources would be helpful and thank you for the congrats I appreciate that no one has said that all ive gotten is OMG you did HEROIN and they fall of the face of the earth so positive encouragement is always nice.
 
3 years great job!! Do you have any idea what prevents you from using on a daily basis because Ive lost everything and when I say everything , I mean everything but at the same time if someone put a tray in front of me id probably still smoke it again. I hate the fact I have to stay away form people now I used to be a social butterfly and now Im quiet to myself depressed and anxious. Hopefully I can get to that 3 year point like you are doing a great job at
 
When I have them I just call a friend of mine who I went through this with and he makes me laugh and somehow it helps. Thankfully he always answers the phone, but talking to others I think is key
 
That's why im on here no one seems to talk to me anymore all my so called "friends" turned their back on me and the other friends I have I smoked with Ill keep that in mind though :)
 
Ive tried and reached out to many times so I think its best I just wait for someone to come my way. Hope seems to be a common word in my life now a days
 
I think you will find some of the answers you are looking for in the threads I linked. You can tell if a post has a link in it becasue a portion of the text will apeare blue. just click on the blue text and it should bring you to the thread.

Your doing great.. addiction turns out to be a little complex.. but no worries you're doing great. Now in order to make your life more enjoyable and peaceful you will want to work on putting a recovery plan together. This is just a plan to do things that help you with the addiction. There are allot of great people and support here, with allot of good wisdom.

Since the treatment of addiction is far from the one size fits all approach that current treatment seems to promote, here at Bluelight we have people working all variances of addiction recovery, we don't promote or degrade any approach.. whatever works is what what works and this depends on the individual addict.

Like I said your doing amazing.. throw any guilt and shame out the window and move rapidly away.. its not warranted or justified and does no good.. your amazing and being an addict does not change that.

like I said its complex.. so your doing great.. and there are allot of really good people here that can help you understand whats going on and can offer advice by informing you of things that have helped them a great deal. If it works for you consider following the advice, if it doesn't after a good try then keep moving forward.

One thing that has helped me greatly is exercise: Exercise 4 Health, Mental Health, and Addiction vs. I worked all that out
 
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Thank you very much I am going to be looking into the links you provided me this site seems to keep my attention more than anything im having a hard sitting still but since I signed up for this site im actually able to sit still and vent :) Im still a little lazy to go exercise because after I used black I used a lot of other things so my body is sore I hate moving around now
 
I've had many dreams about using since I quit. Usually it's only like one using dream a week but some times I get multiple in one week. It started out with me actually usin in my dreams and then one dream I remember denying the needle. After that the dreams started to go away. I still get one every now and then, I'm a little over two months clean.
 
I hate the dreams and after i quit something i get them alot. With meth, it was different settings and people but it was same shit everytime. I would have a giant bag of it to the point where it was just falling out of my pockets. Id be carrying this thing around trying to get away from people so i could use but it never happened. I still remember this one dream where i was at a house party. Never seen the house in real life but i remember it had walkways along the walls like you would have for a cat to get around on. Other shit was happening but ill just get to the end. I was trying to climb a four foot tall pile of xanex, which i dont even use, so i could use the massive amounts of meth in my pocket but i woke up.


The dream thing is wierd cause it didnt start happeneing till recently but when i do have them, its everyday.Especially with alchohol. It got to a point i just accepted each night i would have a dream about it. It bothered me at first especially those intial feelings when you wake up but they just slowly went away. Dreams can be so powerful
 
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