meesa
Bluelighter
A letter to myself, from myself, about myself. I am just typing, What is grammar? How do you spell?
I always find it easier to write than to talk. I can camouflage my emotions. I can hide beneath black and white.
You know you have been like this for a long time. What ever in the world let you have the rights to be sad? Did you die, and some one new step in? Someone dark, tormented… On the outside who’d know? Your damn coach purses and your pink car can’t hide you forever. You smile, but that is only b/c you were taught to. Do you think they all know already? Just finding the right time to tell you…? They’ll pick you up one day and throw you away… A pile of medical bills will arise, and you will only feel worse.
I can’t go like this much longer. I don’t know exactly how to fix it. I stay with you because I will be alone? Am I afraid I’ll never find anyone else? How can I hurt you like I do (hurt)? I am stuck, far away in a corner. Black, wet, hard, and alone. I see it know. I am in a cell. All alone.
You think that by suppressing it everything will lighten up. You imagine a happy life. One that is unattainable…forever. Or not? The only way out is not out. You know that, right?
My mind fucks with me. I don’t know how to make it stop. I wonder how much worse I can feel. This is the upside. Don’t look down.
Just go smoke a cigarette, It’ll all blow away- for a while
I always find it easier to write than to talk. I can camouflage my emotions. I can hide beneath black and white.
You know you have been like this for a long time. What ever in the world let you have the rights to be sad? Did you die, and some one new step in? Someone dark, tormented… On the outside who’d know? Your damn coach purses and your pink car can’t hide you forever. You smile, but that is only b/c you were taught to. Do you think they all know already? Just finding the right time to tell you…? They’ll pick you up one day and throw you away… A pile of medical bills will arise, and you will only feel worse.
I can’t go like this much longer. I don’t know exactly how to fix it. I stay with you because I will be alone? Am I afraid I’ll never find anyone else? How can I hurt you like I do (hurt)? I am stuck, far away in a corner. Black, wet, hard, and alone. I see it know. I am in a cell. All alone.
You think that by suppressing it everything will lighten up. You imagine a happy life. One that is unattainable…forever. Or not? The only way out is not out. You know that, right?
My mind fucks with me. I don’t know how to make it stop. I wonder how much worse I can feel. This is the upside. Don’t look down.
Just go smoke a cigarette, It’ll all blow away- for a while
