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There is exactly one prerequisite to being able to fall deeply in love:

Loving yourself before loving someone else is important for a healthy, functional relationship, but I don't necessarily believe it's a pre-req for falling in love.

I read everything you write in here and it's always thought provoking and often absolutely beautiful.
 
(1) Thank you kindly for the compliments. :)

(2) With respect to the second half of the first sentence of YOUR post above, I agree that not deeply loving oneself doesn't preclude the FEELING of the "falling" part.

But if all there is to a relationship is the "falling" part, does that deserve to even be referred to as "love?"

Extreme mutual attraction, sure.

Infatuation, maybe.

But, love?

I hereby vote that we change the phrase "falling in love" to:

"Intensely enjoying the beautiful part of this wonderful life that consists of this first (of sometimes more than just this initial) phase(s) of a relationship when our hormones have both of us thinking less clearly than normally - and MIGHT (say, twenty percent of the time, give or take), lead to us to, at some point in the future, with the benefit of hindsight, reminisce about this one particular series of exciting events out of all of those dozens of times that we 'fell in love." :)
 
i agree with you love life. i was in a relationship not too long ago, and i ended up getting dumped because of my depression (it was like a twice a month thing), and that showed me i must love myself before i can have a relationship. my friends thought it was wrong how my ex did me... but you know, that's life lol.

i also believe that "true love" is loving yourself, not loving another person. another person can only give you so much, while you can give yourself infinity.
 
MynameisnotDeja said:

I agree.

So much.

Now figuring out how is the hard part.
Click to expand...

You might want to start by learning to FORGIVE YOURSELF.

I know this from personal experience - it's the single biggest challenge I've been dealing with throughout my entire life.

In fact, in my opinion, it's the single biggest downside of being a perfectionist.

But we must keep reminding ourselves to follow George C. Marshall's sage advice, namely:

"When a thing is done . . . it's done.

Don't look back.

Look forward to your next objective." :)
 
always act with 100% intention and vigor. Never question those actions.

Should you decide on a new path, don't grasp on to the old ways, act with 100% intention and vigor.

this is a rough synopses of a don Juan quote from a Carlos Casteneda book; it seems to fit
 
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