mariacallas
Bluelight Crew
My God how true can this be? Not a moment passes in my day to day existence where i am not on the verge of such raw powerful and unrelenting emotions, always teetering on tightropes and lagoons and peaks and mothers bosoms handpainted with a million facetous faces of joy, sadness, fear, awe , contentment, want, pain, every nuance and shade of the emotional rainbow connect entwine pierce dissolve blood relatives soulmates twins opposites lovers friends enemies wispy torn out pieces of hearts and veins and lips and pituitary glands everything and nothing some hell but mostly heaven glorious paradise the fucking bottomline and point is it all leads to my all encompassing understanding of how beautiful my life has been, how i am so gifted and blessed and the millions of little things i cannot simply thank God and the Goddess enough as gratitude and air fight for top slot in my bodily functions if i am to continue living..........i love my room,my room. As most of my personal daily thoughts are wont to stray from the initial plot in my head, let me just say this before i forget. Margaret Cho said it so succintly and so perfectly once and i say it yet again, she must have been me in a past past life, and the Cosmos has converged to enlighten me about myself once more thru such miraculous means that defy all human explanation, except that i feel it deep deep deep within my heart of hearts. My Mind and my Memory is a Cavernous Galaxy with millions of beautiful breathing Stars, Planets, Constellations and many Moons. I had an amazingly fucking brilliant mind, a recollective of my capablities and my achievements, i was on top of my game, so fucking glorious i could do anything i set out to do, if my mind was a Galaxy my Memory was the Sun......outshining everything in its wake, the giver of Life...awesome, unparalleled. Of course drug abuse takes it toll, physical mental emotional spiritual debauchery and the Sun of my memory had lost a bit of its former glory.....Now i cannot really remember although i still have fragmented visions, split-second slaps in the face, or pinpricks in my heart....i know it is there behind the dank cobwebs of secret past addictions and pains and abuse and occasionally during a rare well rested episode , i tab myself into a Dream and find myself in it, in the maze of my eternal inner mind spreading stretching reaching out like some mammoth tentacled purple sheeny rubbery precious Giant Squid i miss soo sooo SOOO FUCKING much....i wish i could hug that Squid and never ever let go of it again.
*sigh*
i love dada-ish train of thoughts
*sigh*
i love dada-ish train of thoughts
Last edited:
