By far, the worst withdrawal I have ever experienced was when I was on 150mgs of methadone and was going through the pre withdrawal jitters, worried I couldn't get any more and I was searching my pants in the dark for cyclobenzaprine to help me calm down. I found what I thought was cyclobenzaprine in a pocket and took it. It turned out to be a Naltrexone pill that went through the washer and got deformed and felt about the same size of a cyclobenzaprine. After about 5 minutes I started feeling off, and by 15 minutes I was in full blown withdrawal. It was traumatic and I didn't understand that I went into precipitated withdrawal until the next day, I didn't know what to think.
I was projectile pissing liquid out of every orifice, mucous was streaming down my throat so thickly and intensely I couldn't breathe or swallow. It felt like my body was on fire (pain) and that doesn't describe the temperature fluctuations which almost simultaneously felt like I was overheating and freezing cold while being soaked in sweat and when I did manage to try to lay down my legs were literally automatically just licking around in the air. Words cannot describe how intense and almost cartoonishly intense it was. Probably scared the shit out of my room mates just crying and whining and vomiting and shitting so loudly. Every withdrawal I have had since is like a walk in the park but it still doesn't make them any easier. These are typical withdrawal symptoms and after that experience I got into IV usage and have had large habits with a bunch of different opioids and the severity of this surpassed any other withdrawal from any other opioid I have done.
I have since gone on Suboxone after failing to get clean for the past 4 years. I kept the dose somewhat low and am making sure to get everything done that needs to be done to take care of as far as restructuring myself and making amends with past trauma, behavioral and mental health issues. Hopefully this will ensure that I don't go straight back into self destruction. Dealing with the stigma of being an opioid addict and being thrown away and called a liar by everyone you reached out to for support is very disheartening but just being able to endure all of that disappointment and persevere will make me a stronger person, what would have been an justification to just go back to drugs is now just more motivation to keep growing and finding happiness without drugs.